Getting Over The Loss Of Your Cat

How did you get over the loss of your cat? Perhaps the answer is that you never got over it. This is probably the truest answer even if you don’t know it. It does depend on you, though.

Getting Over The Loss Of Your Cat

Photo by fuzzysaurus

The answer will also depend on what happened. If your cat dies in an accident, this is a sudden event that will take time to get used to. If your cat dies of old age having been ill for some time you have the time to adjust psychologically in the months leading up to her passing. Both adjustments take time. In the former the adjustment is after the event and in the latter, it is both before and after.

Getting over the loss of your cat also depends on how concerned and connected you are to your cat. A lot of cat owners want rid of their cat. That sounds horrible, but it is true, judging by what happens at cat shelters where they are relinquished for no good reason or left abandoned at homes vacated by the owners.

There is a conventional list of things you could do, such as:

  • Write about your cat in a website blog that you might have or on Facebook or PoC. Whatever is available. It must help if you are able to express your feelings and “talk about it” rather than internalise the pain.
  • Talk to friends.
  • Create a little memorial to her at home. I have the ashes of my deceased cats in an urn. In a sense, they are still with me.
  • Read a book by an author who is well versed in these matters.
  • If you are religious, praying is something that helps. Also, a belief in a God must help too.
  • If you are a spiritualist – a belief in the afterlife – this, too, must help because your cat has gone to a better place and lives on.

My personal opinion is that we should do three things on the loss of a dear cat companion:

  1. Keep his or her ashes in an urn, at home, as mentioned. The cremation must be an individual one supervised by you so you are certain that the ashes are hers. If you have a garden, and have no intention of ever moving, then a grave in the garden can be a nice idea. It should be deep and secure to protect the body from being dug up by wild animals.
  2. Go to the urn or grave and be with her until the pain gradually subsides.
  3. Accept the pain. Simply learn to live with it. People nowadays tend to run away from emotional discomfort. We are less able to confront and deal with emotional pain. That seems to be indicated by increased drug taking and alcoholism etc. However, I am not a expert in this field.

Distress through loss of a loved one is part of life. It helps us if we learn to live with it without too many support systems.

We should give a brief thought to the millions of cats euthanized at shelters without a human companion to care for them in their last moments or grieve for them on their passing. If you believe in a God, please pray for them.

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Comments

Getting Over The Loss Of Your Cat — 14 Comments

  1. You can never get over the loss of a cat, with time you simply just get used to them not being around.
    Over the 39 years of having cats we have of course lost quite a few and mourned them just as we have our human lost loved ones.
    As cats are free spirits we don’t personally believe in keeping their ashes, we let them fly free in the Pet’s Garden of Rememberance, which is a beautiful place away from civilisation, with trees and birds and flowers.
    I often think of all the cats killed in Shelters with no one to mourn them, the cats killed in accidents and their bodies thrown aside, the feral cats living rough and dying of cold or starvation and it makes me very sad they had no one to love them in this life.

      • It just so happens he was in the grass under a tree and looked like nothing had happened to him – no blood at first glance. He looked like the pic in a way. I don’t think it was insensitive of you actually. There are many people like me who visit your site – you are doing your job, well, I was just excusing myself from commenting because the whole thing, text as well, is all a bit much for the moment. I have come to terms with the fact that I have been quite depressed and different since it happened. I didn’t fully realise that until a few people made comments. I have a long way to go until I feel as good as I did when Red was around. I accept that.

    • Thanks Ruth. It means alot. Only one person in my life here understands me, otherwise the only people who do are you. I’ve come along way from it because of POC and you who I know and who comment regularly. I’d be alot more lost without POC. I’ve talked so much about Red. Perhaps too much. It has helped me alot. So anyway thanks for caring, I really appreciate it and am aware of it and think about it.

  2. You haven’t talked too much Marc, you can never talk too much about losing a cat the tragic way you lost Red and if it helps a little bit to share your grief then I for one hope you will keep on talking.
    I still have a few tears for cats we lost years ago, it’s because we loved them so much. I hate it that their lives are so short in comparison with ours and it’s even worse when they die young.
    Take care x

    • Marc, so sorry you’re still in so much pain over your loss of Red, it’s a terrible thing to get used to and I don’t think you’re ever the same because everytime you lose a loved one, be it an animal or human, you soak up a bit more sadness and they never come back so you can never be not sad. Don’t ever think you talk about him too much it’s a fitting tribute to Red that you want to talk about him and after all you are amongst friends x

  3. I don’t think there’s such a thing as getting over the loss of a loved one, you just get sadder as you get older and lose more loved ones over the years, sometimes I wonder at the capacity of our hearts to hold so much sadness. I think what happens is we just get used to it and gain a measure of control so that we can manage without being upset in public and have a few tears in private,but I don’t think everyone is the same by any means, some people are hard and uncaring about animals and cats in particular, I can’t understand them at all, nor people who deliberately kill animals, how do they sleep at night? Like Ruth I often think about the lovely cats we’ve been privileged to have, all individuals with their own distinct personalities, thank God we haven’t ever lost any to accidents but however the final parting comes it’s almost unbearable.

  4. Yes Even now its still good to remember. With cassy gone 8 Months now, Although I’ve moved on slighly I still remember her. I find those Suggestions Very Helpful. I Have already made a blog with my storys of Cassy and my Cats. I have found it very benefical. I was amazed that anyone would be interested as i didnt think anyone would care. I Guess was just doing it for myself. GOod article anyway.

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