How did you get over the loss of your cat? Perhaps the answer is that you never got over it. This is probably the truest answer even if you don’t know it. It does depend on you, though.
The answer will also depend on what happened. If your cat dies in an accident, this is a sudden event that will take time to get used to. If your cat dies of old age having been ill for some time you have the time to adjust psychologically in the months leading up to her passing. Both adjustments take time. In the former the adjustment is after the event and in the latter, it is both before and after.
Getting over the loss of your cat also depends on how concerned and connected you are to your cat. A lot of cat owners want rid of their cat. That sounds horrible, but it is true, judging by what happens at cat shelters where they are relinquished for no good reason or left abandoned at homes vacated by the owners.
There is a conventional list of things you could do, such as:
- Write about your cat in a website blog that you might have or on Facebook or PoC. Whatever is available. It must help if you are able to express your feelings and “talk about it” rather than internalise the pain.
- Talk to friends.
- Create a little memorial to her at home. I have the ashes of my deceased cats in an urn. In a sense, they are still with me.
- Read a book by an author who is well versed in these matters.
- If you are religious, praying is something that helps. Also, a belief in a God must help too.
- If you are a spiritualist – a belief in the afterlife – this, too, must help because your cat has gone to a better place and lives on.
My personal opinion is that we should do three things on the loss of a dear cat companion:
- Keep his or her ashes in an urn, at home, as mentioned. The cremation must be an individual one supervised by you so you are certain that the ashes are hers. If you have a garden, and have no intention of ever moving, then a grave in the garden can be a nice idea. It should be deep and secure to protect the body from being dug up by wild animals.
- Go to the urn or grave and be with her until the pain gradually subsides.
- Accept the pain. Simply learn to live with it. People nowadays tend to run away from emotional discomfort. We are less able to confront and deal with emotional pain. That seems to be indicated by increased drug taking and alcoholism etc. However, I am not a expert in this field.
Distress through loss of a loved one is part of life. It helps us if we learn to live with it without too many support systems.
We should give a brief thought to the millions of cats euthanized at shelters without a human companion to care for them in their last moments or grieve for them on their passing. If you believe in a God, please pray for them.