Have you loved a cat more than a person?

I have loved one cat and one woman in the same way. Another woman, I love in a slightly different way: a version of father/daughter. That is the sum total of the recipients of my love. I know this is personal, but isn’t it important to discuss it? Isn’t it entirely normal and natural? We shouldn’t shy away from these experiences and emotions because they are so much more meaningful than most of the other cat information on the internet. In any event, for me, this is historical. In computer terms, the events are in the archives.

These experiences are the real bits of our lives. So much of it is superficial.  Anyway, I want to briefly write about Missie again and the woman I loved.

Have you loved a cat more than a person? Or the other way around? This is a tricky question.

For me, my love for Missie is equal to my love for Susan. It is a different kind of love. My love for my cat, who died almost 20 years ago, is the love of a father for the daughter he never had, and that is not anthropomorphizing my cat. I loved her as a cat companion. My love for Susan, a past girlfriend, is just pure human to human love.

I have not seen Susan for 40 years. I don’t have a photograph of her anymore. Susan, if you are out there, please leave a comment. You won’t. You might not be alive. If the rainbow bridge exists I hope I can meet my cat again.

I am very pragmatic about this. I believe it is an important but difficult subject but I am very practical about the whole thing. I have no expectations.

The cat I loved

The cat I loved. The picture was taken at my home in Farmer Street, Notting Hill Gate, London in the 1980s.

Above is a large format picture – a copy of a print – of Missie. She was a moggie with some Norwegian Forest Cat in her. Nothing special, generally, but special to me, personally. We were very close. She would sleep next to me, on my arm, sometimes. That is a picture that I keep safe in my mind. I also have a mental picture of her running from the back of the garden to me in the kitchen when I called on my return from work. So sad.

My love for her is absolutely pure and it is exactly as it was 20 years ago.

She is sweet looking, isn’t she? She was extremely athletic and courageous; actually fearless. Perhaps that contributed to her death on a road. I remember her in a special way.

As for Susan, we met at the Regent Street Polytechnic, Regent Street, London, in the first years of 1970. This was right at the center of London. I won’t say more.

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Have you loved a cat more than a person? — 14 Comments

  1. In short my answer is yes. I doubt I need to go into any detail but I feel the same way about Red as Michael does about Missie. I guess that won’t change, ever. Michael, you are ahead of me so I can only imagine that in some years from now I will be saying the same thing as you about Red – alot about it won’t fade. Maybe something will but I am not sure what. Just time will make it further away in some sense I guess. The last day of June will make one year since it happened. That’s not very long ago as far as I am concerned. There is a big personal irony in it for me. July is my favourite month and my birthday month. I always think the beginning of July is about the best time of the year – whole summer to look forward to. I am dreading it. I hope it never comes. I am not sure if I am going off topic here or not. I loved Red more than anyone or anything – he was my little boy and I loved him and he loved me. It was mutual. We chose each other. We made each others days full of joy and excitement. We’d be excitied to see eachother after a few hours apart. I am not sure how you measure love – but with Red there were no human complications or issues. He was always happy and so was I. It doesn’t get better than that in my opinion. Even though it’s totally different to human companionship and does not replace it in entirety it does account for a good part plus something else alot more pure that you can’t get from a human I guess. For some people this might not be interesting but for me it is. I wouldn’t miss people as much as others would if it came down to it.

    I don’t want to be misunderstood – I have had my fair share of human relationships some of which have been very loving. I nearly got married. I don’t think my human relationships were any less loving than anyone else’s – if anything more – it’s just that my cat relationships are also very loving in a different way for some part and in the same way for the other part. It’s also about timing. Right now I feel the need to be single for a while and just live with my cats. Maybe I will crave a human relationship in the future. I guess the difference is that alot of people feel the need to be in a human relationship. Either they are looking for one or they are in one. I am glad I am not stuck in that paradox anymore. Life is totally sustainable with or without a human relationship in my opinion. I don’t need a woman to snuggle and feel love and security right now. I think people get into relationships when they don’t need to. All they need is a few things but a human relationship is like opening a can of worms – is it really worth it if you just want to cuddle? I think I will crave the craziness and dependence of a human relationship later in a few years when I have had plenty of time away from it being myself. Cats will always be there. If I meet a woman who can only get love from humans then she will feel I don’t give her enough and I love my cats instead. I must find somebody who also connects with animals otherwise there won’t be a balance right from the start. Whoever I meet will have to accept that often times I will turn to my cats before I turn to her. Hopefully she will do the same. Otherwise I don’t see how it can work.

    I loved Red a lot – most likely more than my first love when I was 16-17 and most likely more than my more serious long term relationships. I can’t be sure because they are different. If I had to answer the question though I’d be tempted to stick to saying yes 🙂

    • Marc, just want you to know that so often I stumble on words, unlike you. But I truly appreciate what you just said.

      I wasn’t looking to end up with a red tabby male. I was at my co-worker’s farm to get another tuxedo kitten from the same mother as my Panda’s. Luna’s brother was an emaciated red tabby who was about to die. The woman said, “if you don’t take him, he’ll die.” He, Shrimp, and Luna his sister escorted me home wrapped in my long wool coat, in my old pickup. He went to the vet immediately that morning. We waited and waited, but they were too busy to make time for my tiny kitten. The Emergency Vet Clinic saw him that evening, and he is a robust, but shy, four-yr old. He still rarely talks to me, even though his vocal cords came back. We were so used to just speaking knowingly with our eyes (shutting them/opening them), nods, smiles. He smiles right back. I’m so sorry for Red’s passing to another dimension.

      I never guessed that I would one day fall head over heels in love with a red tabby, and I feel so very fortunate!

  2. yes,I don’t want to sound like I do not like people,but if my girlfriend ever told me to choose between her or my cat then she would end up in the homeless shelter before my cat.cats love is unconditional and not judgemental.

    • My daughters dad once told me it was him or the cats. I chose the cats. My ex told me in 2006 it was either him or the dog. I chose the dog. I choose my animals because they are more worthy of my love than a person. If I ever find a man willing to accept a house full of cats then we’ll talk. I just don’t see it happening.

  3. Missie was beautiful Michael and I can well understand your heart is still aching even 20 years later.
    I’ve loved/love each and every one of our cats but some are extra special as they are our feline soul mates and they do especially get into our hearts.
    I think our love for our cats is different to our love for a human though, loving a cat is a pure, protective, caring love, not a romantic love in which we want to be loved back.
    Truly loving a cat is an unselfish love, we expect nothing in return and the happiness we feel when the cat shows how much he/she loves us too is the most wonderful feeling.
    I would never have put any man friend before our cats, the saying ‘Love me love my cat’ is very apt for PoC Michael and visitors!
    Marc when is your birthday? Mine is in July too and it seems most Cancerians love cats.

    • Every cat I live with I love. That phrase would not apply to people. The love I had for Missie was above the rest for some reason. I am sorry I keep rambling on about her.

  4. Michael ramble all you like. I think most of your visitors feel the same way and understand, we never ever get over losing our much loved cats.

  5. elisa,thank you for making me laugh,you are right about finding the right one who will accept a house full of cats,but if i had it my way i would have a castle with a cat for every room in it and my own live in vet to make sure the cats are healthy and a staff to make sure all the litter boxes are clean at all times.the best part of that would be the enjoyment of being surrounded by what i love most in my life…CATS.

  6. michael,if rambling on about cats that i have lost was a sin,then i would definately be going to hell.however, i still have a hard time looking at old pictures of a couple of cats that i have lost because i’m afraid it will make me cry that they are not with me anymore..p.s.,missie was a very beautiful cat…kevin

    • Thanks Kevin. I totally understand you. I feel the same way. Thanks for the compliments about Missie. She was beautiful. Quite small in size but a little pocket rocket 😉

  7. ruth,i enjoy your comments and your way of thinking about cats.in my eyes a cat can do no wrong.another thing that i want to mention is that i’m a scorpio,and so is my sister and we are both cat lovers…kevin r.

    • Thank you Kevin 🙂 I think Scorpios are great cat lovers too, maybe there is nothing in our star signs really that influences us as my sister is Taurus and our late mother was Saggitarius and I’m Cancer and we are all cat lovers. Anyway almost all cat lovers are good caring people I think.
      Hmm I feel an article coming on ……………

  8. Micheal , I had a beautiful male cat (Joe) he looked just like Missie except he had a black beard. 3 years ago he died in my arms of heart failure, he was 6 I miss him everyday. It is wonderful to hear men talk about cats with so much love. My cats has always been there for me, and-unlike my other family members they never treat me disrespectfully . I will always love cats and all animals more than people.

  9. Missie is beautiful. If you mind me touching her, I can feel that belly’s softness. Norwegian forest cat, Turkish van, Angora. They all have that same quality about their bellies and chin, and ruff. i know too from the loves of my life. Binnie does look conflicted in that photo. I wish that you would repost these photos, at least of Missie, Michael.

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