Declawed Cats Need Joanna Lumley
by Mr Cat
This is written from the point of view of a declawed cat!
“Declawed cats need Joanna Lumley. I am a declawed cat. I have nightmares about what cats call the “Ministry of Fear”. Twolegs (people) call it the American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA). But we know better.
Cats in the United States of America live in fear of being declawed and the Ministry of Fear oversees and promotes it. They say they don’t but they actually do. They manage this by using strange double talk language. Only twolegs uses this language. It is used when twolegs wants to give the impression he means something but actually wants something else.
Dear Miss Joanna Lumley, declawed cats need you because we believe that you are the best person to help stop the American vets who attack us with their knives and lasers. We want to be left alone to behave naturally. That is all we ask. We need you to save all the cats who are to be declawed.
Some of the twolegs think they want to own us but they are fooling themselves because they want to own a furry cute animal that is nice to touch and who keeps them company. But cats don’t just do that. We like to use our claws. They are a big part of us. I am sure lots of people don’t know how important they are to us. Here is a video which explains it:
My fellow cats who are not yet declawed need Joanna Lumley because we know that you are kind and courageous. And you understand cats. You’re also famous and we need someone who can “move and shake” (twolegs use this phrase to mean someone who can get things done).
We cannot fight on our own. You know there are 20,000,0000 declawed cats in my country. I was in agony for 3 days after the operation. If all my cat brothers and sisters felt the same that makes 60 million days of agony..that is 164,000 years of agony…..
But it is much more than just about our agony. It is about our relationship with twolegs. Twolegs can be very kind (and they understand us) but there are some twolegs who must learn that they shall not abuse and use us. We have the right to be able to behave naturally and normally. This is not much to ask and a basic right for all animals.
We need a figurehead to lead us to the bright light of a brave new world were cats are understood by all twolegs and were twolegs respects us for what we are.
If you read this Miss Lumley, please leave a comment. I think you can help us. It is a big fight because the vets make lots of money when they hurt us. And they don’t want to give that up. You are the perfect person to lead us to a better world.”