I thought I got a snugly family cat!

by Sandra
(Allendale, mi, USA)

I purchased a gray tiger striped kitten from a private party not knowing he was also apparently part Egyptian Mau. As he grew I began to notice the spotted markings on his side and also took note of his extra long tail, pointy ears and long whiskers.

I was told he loves to snuggle and would sleep on your bed. That lasted about 2 weeks. I’ve never met a cat that didn’t like to be petted but he acts as if you are torturing him when you pet him.

He isn’t mean in anyway, just not loving. He does tolerate you to pick him up and pet him but that is what it is…tolerant.

Fortunately, he does seem to love my son for whom I purchased the cat primarily for. He loves to play and lately has taken to the heights…that is, he jumps up on top of my walls. (We have cathedral ceilings so my kitchen walls don’t go all the way to the ceiling.)

As long as he doesn’t “attack” me as I walk by, I suppose I can “tolerate” him as well. Maybe as he gets older he will become more susceptible to petting and snuggling.

Sandra

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I thought I got a snugly family cat!

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May 15, 2012
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Monty’s not snuggly, but I love him NEW
by: Ruth (Monty’s Mom)

My cat is a lot like yours. As a kitten he was super snuggly, but he seemed to outgrow that. He tolerates a little petting and hugging, and will even purr like he’s got a V-8 engine in his chest– while at the same time struggling to get away. He’s a busy cat with things to do. This makes brushing him difficult. He likes it but it takes too long. He doesn’t like his claws trimmed, plus it takes too long! Treats smooth things over. But he seldom snuggles, likes much petting or sleeps on me. He likes to be petted with your foot though. He will roll on the floor purring and chirping with pleasure while my husband and I hold onto the doorframe and stroke him with our feet. He likes petting with the sweaty, stinky, I just took my shoe off after work foot the best. It’s all about scent exchange, I guess. He likes the sides of his face rubbed, and I guess cats have scent glands there. You could try foot petting and see if your cat responds favorably. It could partly be about finding out what he likes. But if, like Monty, he’s just a busy cat with things to do, then you have to love him for who he is, not what you’d want him to be. I figure it’s not about my preferences. It’s about giving a little stray cat a happy life.


May 15, 2012
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My thoughts NEW
by: Ruth

Hi Sandra, my advice would be not to try too hard to make your cat a snugly one.

With some cats the harder you try, the more they resist.

Try not to just tolerate him, try to love him for what he is, talk to him softly as much as you can, sing to him, play with him but don’t try to touch him at all.

I think eventually you might find him creeping up to your lap one day when you are alone together.

It’s good he loves your son and he may be protective of him, you should be proud of your boy as he obviously knows to treat a cat gently and kindly.

If your cat does seem as if he will attack you, don’t react, just silently throw a cat toy to distract his attention and when he chases it praise him using his name.

With time and patience and understanding I think things will improve.

Kattaddorra signature Ruth


May 14, 2012
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Your cat NEW
by: Maggie

It’s not uncommon for a cat’s personality to change in a new environment. I’ve seen aggressive cats turn into smoochers when they’ve been adopted into the right home. Your cat probably is snuggly, but, as much as I hate to say it, just not to you. My cat loves a good cuddle every now and then, but he won’t climb up on my lap for a cuddle every time I sit down. But if someone comes to the house for a visit, like a family member or friend, he’s all over them, and becomes a total smoochy lap cat.

Your cat can probably sense your attitude, too. If you had a ‘I’ll tolerate you, but that’s it!’ attitude towards your son, of course he would resent you! Cats are exactly the same, and while you may not notice, he knows exactly how you feel about him. Don’t be surprised if a negative attitude results in him becoming aggressive towards you. Cats can’t rationalise like humans can, if he senses that you’re feeling negatively towards him, he’ll become tense and defensive around you.

Treat him like you would your son. Love him to bits even though he’s not what you consider perfect. Play with him, talk to him, feel positive towards him, and he’ll begin to feel positive towards you, too! He might not become the snuggly cat you wanted, but over time he may just let you give him a pat or cuddle.


May 14, 2012
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Character vs Socialisation NEW
by: Michael

Hi Sandra.. when I first your story I thought your cat might be poorly socialised. That would have been bad luck.

But it seems that he has a character that is not particularly fond of being picked up and petted etc. Some cats are like that.

We like to touch and pet our cats but that does not automatically mean they like it.

Another factor as you say is that he has a preference for your son. That’s not uncommon either – a cat preferring a certain person. They do have preferences in other cats and people.

I don’t know how long you have had him. It seems not long. If that is the case he’ll settle down and open up more.

Thanks for posting.



Comments

I thought I got a snugly family cat! — 3 Comments

  1. Re your Mau.

    Hopefully your cat is now well settled and adjusted. I have had my Mau for three years now and she is not a cat that will allow anyone to pick her up.

    I got her from someone who had her to breed (though appently she never did). They had given up on her breeding and wanted to find her a home. I don’t think that she had had much human contact as she wouldn’t let the breeders pick her up when I went to collect her. She just screached and spat at them. I managed to get her home in the car (100 miles). I had to keep her separate from my tortoiseshell as her shots hadn’t been maintained by the breeders. Everytime I went in the room to see her / feed her she would hide away and spit at me when I put my hand near her.

    Once she had had her shots, the three of us (me the mau and the tortoiseshell) spent a week in one room getting used to each other, with me sleeping on the sofa. By the end of the week, she was sleeping with me and the tortoiseshell. She wouldn’t let me stoke her though.

    In time I found that she would let me stroke her if i put my hand (back of hand towards her) over the stair rail and we built a relationship from there.

    I have had her for 3 years now. She still won’t let me pick her up but she sleeps with me and she will come to me for a cuddle when I sit on the sofa. She’s in my left arm now as I type with the left.

    I don’t think that she will ever let me pick her up as I think that she associates being held in two hands with vet trips, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have a good relationship with your cat.

    I know my cat loves me, she vies for attention with the tortoiseshell and will sleep on my chest at night. Don’t give up on your cat, though you may always come a distant second to your son for your cats attention.

  2. Our Mau is quite a lover, but he detests being picked up or carried. He loves to crawl onto my lap on his terms. If we have been gone on a trip, you have to keep throwing him out of the bed as he attempts to get as close as possible.

    The charm of cats is that they chose you on their terms.

    • He sounds lovely but please don’t throw him out of the bed as he attempts to get as close as possible. Let him get close. Enjoy. Thanks for visiting and sharing.

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