Social Media Pet Identity Theft

Social Media Pet Identity Theft

by Furby the Feral Feline
(Hodges, SC)

OMC I'm Being Impersonated!

OMC I'm Being Impersonated!

Hi everybody! It's Furby! Today I want to talk about social media pet identity theft. Human critters, you need to leave the room because this story is just for your cats. So gather your cats around the computer. Um...maybe you humans better stick around in case your cat can't read this...

Cats, did you know that almost half of all Facebook pages are examples of pet identify theft? You heard right. That dear sweet owner of yours may be impersonating you on Facebook, Twitter, Catster, MySpace and who knows where else. Of course, cats are much more popular than dogs. I think cats do a lot more thinking than dogs and we're more likely to speak our minds.

I have a page on Facebook under Furby the Feral Feline. I'll admit I haven't been on there in awhile now. I'm on something called "restriction" because I used my human mama as a launching pad and forgot to put my claws in. So the top of her head had a few holes for awhile. It's not like anyone saw them under all that hair of hers. Sorry mama.

Anyway, I run my own Facebook page because I can read and write. Mama did put one thing on my bio I don't like. She said I have a smart mouth. Me? I don't think so. And if I did, where does she think I got it from! I did find a few entries on there I didn't make. Unless I was under the influence of catnip. Never mind...

My adopted daughter Midnight Munchkin Whineybutt has her own regular page on Facebook. I'll tell you all a secret. Mama is "pretending" to be Midnight. Every cat knows cats can't read and type at the age Midnight got her page. I was at least four months old before I learned to read and then it took a few more months before I learned to type.

Twitter is also a major site for social media pet identity theft. There are several famous cats on there including Sockington, CalibanTheCat, MimiTheCat, Pantherthecat and arielthecat. These cats have THOUSANDS of Twitter people. Can I ask someone what a Twitter is? Any why am I not on there?

Mama, why am I NOT on TWITTER? See, she can't even do a complete job of impersonating me! It's just not fair! What mama? I AM on Twitter. And I'm just now finding this out...

Fellow cats, what are we going to do about this? Can we get approval for cats to start impersonating their humans on these sites? We can't sue our humans because that could cut into our catnip/cat toy funds. I suggest we try sitting on the computer to monitor what our humans do using our identity.

I'd like to assure everybody at that I did write all of my Furby stories for my Godfather Michael. No pet identify theft was committed on any of those articles.

Cats, please tell me whether your owners are impersonating you anywhere. What are we going to do about this? Someone has to come up with a plan or our humans (a.k.a. the traitors)will continue to make fun of us against our knowledge on these social media sites.

Oh, mama says I'm on Twitter under furbyshouse. I guess I need to go there and learn to do whatever it is Twitter does.

I'll be back when I think of something else to write about.

Furby the Feral Feline

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Social Media Pet Identity Theft

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Apr 28, 2012
by: Furby

The stories are true. Before mama rescued me I had to eat roaches and crawly works. I was fast but not smart enuf to catch anything else. I looked big when I was a baby but it was all fur.

Please don't use that bath word. I smelled like a feral and sissy Laura kept giving me baths. I bit her the first time. She hurt my ears when she hollered so I didn't bite her no more.

We get a lot of kitties her people just threw away. I go round tryin to make them happy. I even wash up the sick ones.

Sealy smells funny like I did but no bath. They skert he'll bite.

I may get mama to take me for a walk with the cat harness. Looks like fun. I can make mama do anything. She got a new puter from a lady and it got big keys so I can type.

YAY! Keep up your good work at mind control.

Apr 28, 2012
Hi Furby!
by: Monty

Furby, my feline friend, I think it is just shocking that your mamma would impersonate you on the computer. Doesn't she know we can do our own things on the computer? Why just yesterday I helped my mom with a song she was composing. I walked all over the keyboard changing lots of notes for her. She didn't save my changes and she seemed kind of exasperated. She didn't even try to play back my changes to hear how I made it better. Lately she's been putting the keyboard out of reach under the big screen so I can't do anything on the computer. I like the sound it makes when I stand on the keyboard. I am a musical kitty. I'm a better singer than Momma. You should have heard her the other day practicing her guitar and trying to sing along when she didn't know what she was doing. It sounded really bad and she wouldn't let me outside to get away from the noise because she said I'd had enough time outside already. She thinks it's a problem that I eat grass and stuff outside, but she's always eating things out of the refrigerator all day long, so I don't see why she should complain when I want to snack on a little tasty grass.

My momma tells me about you and your friends. She also tells me stories of "kitties less fortunate than myself" but I don't like to hear those stories. I really don't believe they are true and I don't know why she would make up such horrible things. I know I will live here forever and Momma wouldn't have the right to send me away. That would be wrong. Why would someone do something that is so wrong, to make a cat live somewhere else with lots of other cats where they have to share everything and don't get wet food every day and don't ever get to go outside? Momma says some cats even live in cages and sometimes they are killed to make room for more cats. I know that I was put here to be loved by Momma. That's what all animals were created for-- to be loved by humans. How can some humans not know that? She also tells me that some kitties have their claws taken away from them. My earliest memories are of enjoying learning to use my claws. I can't imagine how I could live without them!

I do sometimes wish I could see other cats. When momma comes in smelling of other cats, I wish so much that I could go visit them just for a little while. I have some toys I play with and I pretend they are other cats. Maybe that really is the better way because then I am always the top cat, and I don't have to share my climbing post or my window perch or my beds with anyone.

I share the outside with other animals and they are not always so nice. Someday I will catch those big black birds and that irritating squirrel and they will never pick on me again. I think they pick on me because they are jealous of me! Bye, Furby, I have to go play outside now. It's raining but I don't really mind. A little water is ok but getting dunked in it for a bath is very bad!

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