People of a controlling nature (“control freaks”) are not ideally suited to cat caretaking,
My thanks to Marc for making me think about this. The better cat caretakers, owners or guardians, call them what you want, are more relaxed about their environment and their lifestyle. In general they are less ambitious and tend to let go a bit. They are intelligent too and are more concerned about real things rather than image. They are in stark contrast to controlling people who have to manage all aspects of their lives in order to achieve financial success and success in the eyes of others. Success for these people means financial success and accompanying trappings. They are conventional people.
The control freak types have to behave as they do in order to succeed in the conventional sense because life can be a bit chaotic. There are lots of things that can throw an ambitious person off-track. Being a control freak you have to have authority, which gives the person the ability to control others and situations to their likeness. The idea is to eliminate natural chaos and have things the way you want it. To clear the path to “success”.
So, where does that leave us in relation to the domestic cat? Well, the best cat caretaker is probably not ambitious but smart. They have more time to give to their cats because they are not chasing financial success. They let their cats behave as they wish. They have a laissez-faire, live and let live attitude together with a concern to satisfy the behavioral needs of a cat. The emphasis of these people is repositioned away from looking successful to quality of life.
Consequently, the best cat caretakers are not worried about a bit of cat destruction (sofa scratches). They tend to accept this. Often (but not always) older people are more likely to better cat caretakers because:
- they are retired and have time to spend with their cat and;
- their lives are stable;
- they have loosened up psychologically. They don’t care or mind so much anymore.
It tends to be the ambitious, younger person who is preoccupied with “success”. A part of conventional success is the perfect home and fancy car. These people are the least likely to be a good cat caretaker because the domestic cat can slightly damage a person’s property. This sort of person might want a cat as decoration but not as a true companion. They are definitely more inclined to declaw their cat so that their home remains perfect. Everything for the control freak has to be perfect all the time. Cats don’t fit into that environment.
In many ways, the independent minded domestic cat is a control freak’s nightmare. You cannot tell a cat what to do. Control freaks like to tell people what to do.
A cat has to be accepted on their terms. In order to respect the cat you have to understand and accept their nature and behavior. That includes scratching because that is part of scent marking and claw management. This could be agony for a control freak who will accept a cat because their partner wants one, but only on condition she gets rid of those bloody claws…please dear.
I have been crossed with a cat. The result…meow.
Spot on Howard! I love Mark Twain’s sayings about cats, he was a very wise man.
It’s wrong to try to control cats, dogs like being controlled, they like pleasing their owner but it’s far beneath a cat’s dignity to be controlled.
As for people who have their cat declawed to please a partner, they shouldn’t be allowed within a mile of any cat because they don’t deserve one in their miserable selfish lives.
“Of all God’s creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.” — Mark Twain (1835 – 1910)
My Red spent the first months of his life in the same household as a big dog called Daisy. But this Daisy is much younger and way to aggressive to the cats but somehow Red could stand up to her and actually quite liked her. When she came at him he would just kind of freeze all arched (he was a tiny kitten) and stay, not run away. What a silly brave boy. Dais y liked him too I think. All the others ran. But your Daisy sounds very calm and much older andmore gentle. I can see it that cat’s like dogs in a certain way – either young kittens who are curious and playful, or in your case, older cat and older dog who seem to find a common ground where they appreciate eachothers company. It’s sad that Daisy is growing old – I’m sure Marvin does really love her – it sounds like it.
You are correct about the lack of independence a dog has compared to a cat. We are master to the dog, and the roommates of our cats! Or maybe, the cat is our master!
Marvin is unique in being so fond of Daisy. She is a very old dog for her size. She is showing signs of dementia we are dealing with now. Marvin seems to have come along at a good time for everyone. But make no mistake, he is a very independent cat. He likes a routine like any other cat, and is social on his terms. I am completely smitten with him. He has so much personality.
I’d never be confused as a control freak. I’ve given up a nice wool rug to Marvin. He loves to wrestle with it. He gets himself all rolled up in it, then enjoys the tunnel for a few minutes, then starts the attack again. He does this in the evening when the lighting is bad for a video unfortunately. He is really strong and fast.
These people should and often do have dogs. I think they get off on the fact that all they have to do is whistle and the dog will come and give full attention. The difference between cat’s and dogs is ‘usually’ (not always) enormous. So big it can’t hardle be put into words. It’s always fun to say your cat is like a dog when it ‘fetches’ and such but that is the point, it’s unusual for cats to be like dogs. I know Elisa with disagree partly here (she has a ‘cat-dog’) and I know for example Marvin and Daisy like to hang out, but is Daisy a bit older? Older dogs are lovely 🙂 – younger dogs are great too but I couldn’t personally handle lack of independence. It’s a personal thing.
Unfortunately control and success freaks are often busy and like the idea of a cat because they don’t have to do anything except fill a bowl full of dry food once a day or every other day and let the cat go outside instead of using a litter box. I’m sure there are such people out there who think ‘the only annoying thing about a cat is that it might scratch the furniture or knock things off the mantlepiece’. The simple answer to that is declawing I guess. This sick idea and process makes it all possible for those people to have a cat because they like the idea of a cute cat decorating their home. What they should get is a dog and hire a nanny for the dog. You can’t declaw cats. It’s not right – I know it’s terribly obvious.