It’s My Birthday by Furby

My name is Furby and it’s my birthday today! It’s also my birthday again on Wednesday because mama and I don’t agree on when we should celebrate. Mama says my birthday is September 17 and I say it’s the 19th so we have two parties. I don’t think there’s a law saying a cat can’t have two birthdays. Teeheehee. So now I’m three years old. That’s like 21 in human years so it’s legal for me to do catnip. Right everybody?

I’ve come a long way since I was a kitten telling my first story here. I’ve had a very exciting life and thanks to my Godfather Michael (PoC), I’m known the world over as the greatest cat writer ever born. Well, maybe not the greatest…..but I can dream….

I hope this story will catch all of you up on my life.

I’d like to tell everybody I’m still accident prone. Since having the fly worm in my neck where I almost died, I’ve also gotten my head stuck in the hole of a banana box, fell off the microwave(NOT my fault since I was asleep), got my claw stuck in a converter box on the TV, got stuck behind the washing machine(again, not my fault) and got sticky from getting ahold of fly paper. Had to have a bath on that last one. At least I don’t many baths these days. Last week I did drag a lot down off the TV bar when I went to jump on the feeding bar. NOT my fault again. Well, maybe THAT one was my fault.

I also lived through a house fire in March where we had a lot of smoke damage. I had to get a bath after that, but at least we all made it out of the house. We were lucky because a lot of cats don’t live through fires.

We had a hard month in July because somebody turned mama in for having Sealy. They said mama had a seriously injured cat that wasn’t being taken care of. Thank goodness mama had all the vet papers showing Sealy was going to the vet every week! If she hadn’t had those papers she would have been taken to the people shelter with bars. I think humans call it jail. Anyway, we all got upset over strange people coming in the house. Sealy went a few days without eating and several of us found new and better hiding places in case the animal control people came back. Mama sent nine cats out to find new homes. I knew I was safe because I run this house.

My best friend Dreyfuss went to the Rainbow Bridge a few weeks ago. I sure do miss him. He kept my butt warm in the winter because I’d lay on his head. Dreyfuss told me I made a great doggy head warmer so I guess we kind of took care of each other. Mama had him cremated and he sleeps on her nightstand now.

I want to tell everybody about our catdog Cujo. I asked mama what kind of catdog he is and she sneezes “shih-tsu.” I say “bless you” in cat talk and she forgets to answer my question. He’s being raised by the cats and we taught him a new game called ambush. That’s when one of us hides in front of the couch and jumps on any cat(and now dog) who walks by. Our first rescue Jasper taught me the game a long time ago and it got me put on computer suspension. Mama was sitting on the couch and I kind of jumped on her head with my claws out. I don’t know why mama got so upset. Her hair hid the claw marks I left on her.

My beautiful cat mama Lola is still my best friend. She’s been there for me since I was a baby. Sometimes we even lay together and nap on top of the clothes dryer and look out the door at the woods behind our house.

A lot of people ask me if I like living with a bunch of other cats. Especially Sealy, who has had a lot of special attention paid to him. He gets more good food since he was so hurt. I’d like to tell everybody here that I’m good with the living arrangements. I still have plate rights. That means I sit on mama’s right side while she eats and I grab and run with anything I want that she has on her plate. She may yell at me when I do that, but once the food hits the floor, I know it’s mine. And I get to finish any canned food or baked chicken Sealy doesn’t eat. So life is good for me.

The one thing people find hard to believe about me is that I’m not a lap cat. Never have been unless I’m really sick. When I’m really sick I sleep in the bed right next to mama and curl up as close as I can to her. That means a vet visit the next day, but I get really scared when I’m sick. I’ve only been sick two times and that was upper respiratory stuff. I don’t mind going to my vet when I’m sick. I like to ride in my cage and I go to sleep because the vet is a long way from my house. I love my vet, but he likes to run too many tests when I’m there. They usually start with my being violated. The thermometer first and the worm check(shuddering) second. Why can’t they do it all in one poke?

I like being petted and I love nose kisses. I just have too much to do to lay in a lap. Besides, I’d just get comfy and whoever would be holding me would want to get up or move or whatever and disturb my nap. So I get my loving and then I sleep on the cat table on the comfy pillows mama bought for us.

I really worry about mama sometimes. She can’t tell me and our rescue Coral apart. She has to grab me up and look at my face because she says we look alike in the butt end. Mama’s an antique(she’s over 50) now so she’s getting REALLY old.

A lot of my friends have asked me what happened with my two cat wives. My first wife Mia went to a family of her own. She has a good forever home now and I wish her the best. Even if she did slap me after I cat married Marley. Marley didn’t like living with so many cats so she went up for adoption and found her own home too. I still can’t believe Mia slapped me for marrying Marley. She was walking by me one day and just stopped and slapped my face! I thought a cat was supposed to have nine wives. Mama says I have a hearing problem and a cat is supposed to have nine LIVES. Oops-I’m so bad!

Lady cats, I’m still single. I’m confused whether I can have seven more wives or if I need to start over since the first two have left me and I get nine more wives. Can any of you help me on this? I really need advice on whether I should look for another wife…What about Coral here? She’s a sweet kitty and I don’t think she’d slap me.

I hope you all like the new picture I’m putting with my story here. It’s one of the few where I don’t look guilty. For those cats who don’t know, it’s a good idea to look guilty all of the time so your human servants don’t know when you’re really up to no good.

That about does it for me. We have a lot fewer cats now. Mama and Sissy Laura are just going to take care of the ones we have now and that will be it. We have Cujo and he’s going to be the only dog. Please don’t tell him he’s not a cat. I don’t feel like listening to any of his speeches on how he’s a cat in a dogs body.

Until next time, I love everybody here. Especially my Godfather Michael and Ruth and my other Ruth and Tracey and Barbara and Rat and and…..oohhh the catnip is interfering with my name remembering.

Furby