Will Cats Eventually Replace Husbands?

Karl Lagerfeld wants to marry his cat Choupette

From Elisa Black-Taylor

You may laugh at the title, but don’t think it can’t happen to you. This article is going to be fun, with a bit of research thrown in for good measure.

First of all, let me say my daughter’s daddy once said to me “It’s either me or the cats”. He’s not the first husband to make that remark. I’ve heard from several cat ladies who have given up their relationships in favor of cats. One man, whom I met while purchasing cat food, asked me “just how long will that new cat I got my wife, live?” You should have seen the look on his face when I told him 20-25 years if well cared for.

I was tempted to tell him the cat would likely outlast his marriage, seeing that more than half of marriages fail.

Cats are better than spouses for several reasons (this may be true for men out there who prefer cats to women). First of all, they don’t complain. Well, maybe sometimes, but they use a kinder method of making their needs known. Cats also don’t fuss when you wake them in the middle of the night to tell them you love them. They’re most likely up playing in the middle of the night, anyway.


Have you loved a cat more than a person?


When you feed a cat, it doesn’t tell you its not hungry, wants something different or the food wasn’t correctly prepared. It may turn up its nose and walk away from the food bowl, but a cat won’t verbally abuse you over a meal. And yes, I’ve sent a few spoons flying towards men who didn’t appreciate my cooking. Never had to throw a spoon at a cat.

I’ve been thinking about this topic for awhile now, and decided to write on it when I stumbled across a study conducted by Dennis C. Turner, PD, ScD. Dennis will be among the presenters at the International Association of Human-Animal Interaction Organizations’ conference to be held in Chicago in conjunction with the AVMA from July 19-23.

As it turns out, Dennis has done a lot of research into cat behavior. During his research, Dennis learned that cats are more effective than dogs in easing symptoms in depressed individuals, especially women. He believes cats accept the amount of love a person is willing to give. Cats are more careful in approaching a depressed person and more likely to stick around longer that a dog would. Dogs are about “me” time, while cats are more willing to offer comfort.

We all knew that already, didn’t we? Dennis has also co-authored a book with Paul Bateson that you all may be interested in. It’s called The Domestic Cat:the Biology of its Behavior (3rd edition). There’s a lot of new information in this new edition and its available on Amazon. If you Google “amazon The Domestic Cat:the Biology of its Behavior” you see the book listed.

I feel much better about the decision to share my life with cats instead of a partner after reading this is becoming the norm. Here I was thinking I was a crazy cat lady recluse. It’s nice to know there are quite a few like me who have chosen to share their life with cats instead of a significant other.

Hmmm…I wonder if any studies have been done on successful businesswomen who share their life with a cat? So much less “brain clutter” at work when your cat is the love of your life. Not true when you’re in a relationship.

I am curious about one thing. Do any of you have a significant other who’s ever given you an ultimatum between them or your pet? I went through the same experience with my dog Dreyfuss, where I was given an ultimatum. Back in 2006, I decided to keep the dog and lose the man.

Elisa

38 thoughts on “Will Cats Eventually Replace Husbands?”

  1. The author of the best comment will receive an Amazon gift of their choice at Christmas! Please comment as they can add to the article and pass on your valuable experience.
  2. I know this was a long time ago. Its so true. I’ve found Relationships are so much harder these days. Its hard enough just to look after me. I definitely agree Cats are so much better than having someone else. If i ever have to live alone again it would not be a problem. Good article by the way. I do think cats will be our partners in crime lol. I miss the times when i was by myself. Even though i do get time to myself now. If it was financially hard it wouldn’t be a problem. I agree Cats are wonderful Therapists and my lot always know when im Sad and struggling. They curl up and come close.

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  3. My cats gave me far more affection and companionship than my former husband or subsequent partners. The cats’ love was unconditional. They don’t care if their person is fat or thin, socially adept or introverted. Cats don’t emotionally blackmail their people or nag their person to change. Every time I’ve had to choose, I’ve chosen in favour of the cats. Male company is fine on occasion, but I prefer feline companionship. Besides, I understand cats much better than I understand men!

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    • Well, if Sarah Hartwell writes that, it should be read and digested ; )

      I tend towards the same conclusion but in reference to the opposite sex. That is not to criticise women. It is a criticism of the male/female human relationship.

      The cat/human relationship is more sensible, objective and stable. There is no baggage or preconceptions if you like cats. It is just the way it is. The relationship with a cat is much more straightforward and simplified. This makes it stronger. I love that.

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      • We could get into the whole discussion of cats don’t booze/gamble/have affairs/criticise your tastes/leave dirty washing on the bedroom floor etc… However, despite their smaller size, a cat seems to take up the same amount of space in the bed as a human partner!

        I think likening it to marriage is metaphorical to describe the degree of attachment and interdependence though. One great benefit is that you can tell your cat all sorts of personal things and s/he isn’t going to gossip to others or vengefully post it Facebook.

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        • Well said..

          However, despite their smaller size, a cat seems to take up the same amount of space in the bed as a human partner!

          That is a topic for an article because I know all about that. Charlie completely hogs the bed. I won’t go on but he takes more space than a human and I am not sure why. I think the problem with Charlie is that he wants to be next to me for warmth. I want a bit of space. Those two desires result in me being pushed towards the edge 😉

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          • With Kitty on one side & Minns on the other side I get squashed in between them. It’s very reassuring. Both snore, sometimes loudly.

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            • I have little cat-dog Cujo on my stolen bed pillow, then my cat Lucky is laying on top of my head on my pillow. Renny comes and goes. He could be anywhere, including chasing Lucky. I have to tie a nightgown around my eyes because I’m afraid of getting my eyes raked by claws during one of their 4am chases in the bedroom

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              • Some years back with 3 cats, cat 1 liked to be tucked up against my belly under the duvet, cat 2 was wrapped round the top of my head and cat 3 liked to sleep on my hip. A nice cosy sleep heap of purring, whiffling, twitching paws and the smell of warm fur.

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            • Don’t know how you get to sleep. Charlie makes a lot of gurgling and snoring sounds. He is quite noisy at times. When he is snoozing he makes a particular sound that advertises the fact he is snoozing. It is as if he is saying, “I am snoozing, leave me alone…”.

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          • That’s interesting, Michael. I used to sleep with Oliver, Lucky, Luna, Shrimp and Michael all enveloping me in the nest that they created, every night. I did not dare move. Maybe this caused me not to sleep soundly, but I don’t think so. I believe it helped me sleep more soundly. Especially being enveloped in a purr “massage.” 🙂 Their snoring drowned out the night noises that might have disturbed me otherwise. I miss it! 🙂 [you are all probably zonked out over there in England…sweet dreams!]

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  4. My partner of a few yrs now is not an ailurophile, nor adorer of cats, but has done more for my cat Shrimp than anybody else in my past history with men and my cats.
    Well, he surprised me, the first time I saw him holding a piece of turkey breast in his mouth, sitting on my couch, and Shrimp (who was still kittenish) jumped onto his lap and tentatively climbed up his chest and gently took the turkey. wow. And when we moved, Shrimp went missing for a week, even though I was so careful not to let him go outside without me. B. put up flyers that he had hand-Sharpied to show that Shrimp was blind in his left eye (it’s actually opaque). He got the wrong eye, but bless his heart! I had my beloved Shrimpie back… a mystery to this day. Returned alley-side from the passenger side of a dark small car, and of course I was standing out in the dark facing the opened back gate, when he leaped out and ran straight into my arms. It brings tears to my eyes, even now.

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  5. A bit about the image at the top of the page:

    How much do you love your cat? You have to be very honest with yourself. I ask because Karl Lagerfield loves his cat, Choupette, so much he would marry her if he could. He is genuinely very concerned about her well being. When Choupette became ill he could not wait until the morning. He made arrangements for a vet to come out in the middle of the night. He did for peace of mind. He has the money. It does show real concern though.

    Choupette is described by the newspapers as a Siamese cat. In fact, the Mail (UK) describes her as a “white Siamese”. That is meaningless description. Largerfield, himself, says she is “snow white with touches of caramel around the eyes, ears and on her endless boa-tike feather tail”. This is not a Siamese cat. Siamese cats do not have plumed tails and semi-long hair.

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