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A cat fosterer should not adopt the cat she is fostering — 36 Comments

  1. Its how long they get left with you. Cats are adept at stealing your heart very quickly. I struggle if I have them for any amount of time hence Honey and I’m still trying to find a home for Mr Jinks. I’m hoping that the CPL will showcase him on their website soon…

  2. I am different kind of cat foster, if I will, I will never handle the cat to any other body then. Because can’t imagine life without that cat if only once faced that cat in life.

    I can’t even think about to let her go any where to any one. This is how I am. a sentimental man. maybe too much sensitive about cats, perhaps 😉

    • Ahsan I understand completely what you feel and say. My words in the article are almost theoretical because I don’t know if it is possible to love cats and be a foster carer. It is too hard.

  3. Dr. Itchy, who is a very wise old cat, answered me in the affirmative when I of him inquired about your situation: he agrees that you are still in the throes of a great and very, very deeply felt loss, and like any “newly single” male, you are doing the equivalent of – in the modern vernacular – “Power Dating”.

    (for those unfamiliar with the term, it refers to a very Western, and quite new method of introduction to a possible mate that entails (!) a group of like-minded who meet and introduce to each other on a one-to-one basis for a very, very short time – maybe only a brief few minutes – and then move on to the next in the group. Those that want to ‘stay and play’ with an ‘introductee’ can only do so later, per the consent or refusal of the potential date/mate, no harm no foul no matter the decision)

    Don’t get me wrong, dear Michael: there is nothing at ALL wrong with trying to kiss all the kitties!

    *Erhmmm… my first foray into “newly single” 30-some years ago garnered me a very stern warning from my mother, telling me I might get ‘hairballs’ or worse. You are thusly forewarned, dear sir!

    I will admit that I got a lot of kat, but the truth be known, I was lonely as hell until I found my true love and made the ultimate “commitment”.

    Just an observation from a like thinker, and his Doctor.

    “GATHER ye kitties while ye may,
    Old Time is still a-flying:
    And this same flower that smiles to-day
    To-morrow will be dying.

    The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun, 5
    The higher he ‘s a-getting,
    The sooner will his race be run,
    And nearer he ‘s to setting.

    That age is best which is the first,
    When youth and blood are warmer; 10
    But being spent, the worse, and worst
    Times still succeed the former.

    Then be not coy, but use your time,
    And while ye may, go adopt a kitty:
    For having lost but once your prime, 15
    You may for ever find
    Not to is a pity!

  4. The 4 fosters I have right now are going to be hard also, because they were so tiny and helpless when abandoned in a parking lot. I have gotten them all completely vetted, so their time with me should be ending soon.

  5. Michael, I think you will see that the first foster is always the hardest to let go of. If you continue to foster, there is always that special one that comes along that you bond with very deeply.
    I had one that I was so in love with that I cried about him for a couple of months after he was gone. He went to an excellent home, they love him very much and send me updates about every 3 months. I’m fine now and know it was the right decision, but it is hard when you love them and they are leaving.

  6. Michael you need to consider one thing about fosters adopting in the southeast. A lot of the foster cats who go back to the shelter would be killed when no one steps up to save them. In other words its adopt or send the cat back to its death.

    I’m doing a major piece for Examiner and bouncing the Palm Beach article off of it. I’ll send you the link and I want you to address something here on PoC. You’ll see what I mean once I get it all done and hand it over to you. The shelter is trying to cover their tracks.

    • You make a good point Elisa. I don’t foresee a cat never being adopted. If a cat is not adopted then I will have to adopt that cat and stop fostering. I don’t see any other solution.

      The big problem in the US compared to here is that there appear to be many more homeless cats in the US and therefore much more pressure on the rescue network which inevitably leads to more euthanasia. The solution must be to go back to the core of the problem – irresponsible cat ownership. The tap must be turned off.

  7. Wow lovely Video which im sure you will treasure. Great he/she has a new Adopted person so Quick. Thats great. It’s great how well he/she settled in. It must be so hard not to become too attached. You done a great job.

      • At least it was a good start to fostering. Aww is that your next foster a black Cat. Hope it goes all well your a natural. I loved the photos of Downtown. Hope it wont be too long without a cat.

  8. He’s been adopted?

    Astonishing within the context of these frontier towns, where unwanted cats are thick as gnats. Your last essay on this topic sounded heartrendingly naïve. My misconception, resulting from my notion that shelters use the term ‘foster’ to dupe the unknowing into thinking they’ll have the animal only for a couple of weeks, when the shelter knows that few fosterers could bear to relinquish a waif they’ve had for months.

    It’s no less amazing that someone would adopt a cat unseen, if that’s what happened. But if ‘Sam,’ according to Jessica Mitford, is ‘U,’ and ‘Downton’ ‘non-U,’ this lady will stop at nothing to give the cat a stellar home. If you wrote her a note telling her how fond you were of the cat and hoping she’d enjoy him as much, she might invite you to tea to see how the cat adapted to his new digs. (Though heaven help your sanity if she lives in a ghetto, is jaw-juttingly pro-declaw, and set on feeding the cat Walmart’s sawdust & cornmeal pellets.)

    Bittersweet as it is, this couldn’t have come at a better time: your travel plans might have been a pipedream if the cat had settled in. Another week or two of this, and you’d have sat there, hopelessly sessile, while he kneaded your kneecaps until 2035.

    Even so, is it sad to load him into his carrying case again and drive him back to the shelter? Of course. For him, too. (Though your post suggests she might come to your house to fetch the cat.)

    Until you adopt another one, enjoy your wayfaring, assuming Big Sur and Pakistan can offer anything to match the beauty of Carmarthenshire.

    • Sylvia, I might not travel. I am considering it as a possibility. Downton, my foster cat, has been adopted today. The lady who adopted him had seen several cats and choose my boy. She choose him based on her visit to me where she stayed about 40 mins to play with the cat and complete paperwork. She named him Downton after Downton Abbey the TV series. Downton is by my side now while I type this in bed.

      It was expected that he’d be adopted fairly soon. He is young and handsome and I am a damn good salesman 😉

  9. Voluntarily fostering has to be 10 times harder than being tossed cats to rescue and adopt out. If I didn’t have them always brought within my vision, I don’t know that I would seek them out as it is today.

    • I had no idea what my foster cat was like before taking him on. My next cat will be the same. I’ll take whatever is given to me. For me they are all equal and all beautiful. I love them all exactly the same.

  10. I have finally figured out that as a foster I am not always the best fit for a cat that I am helping. Others love cats just as much as I do. It took me a long time to be able to let go and feel okay with that decision. I have placed cats in homes where they have a better life then with me. You have to screen the potential adopter, verify information, and say goodbye. Yes, it is bittersweet, but fostering provides a wonderful alternative for a cat waiting in a shelter.

  11. Sorry, didn’t finish the above message and was editing and Marla (yes, a cat) walked on the keyboard. She is rather smart to figure out how to post.

    • My foster boy, Downton, is very skilled at walking on the computer keyboard and I am equally skilled at foreseeing when it will happen and avoiding it. The first time he did it the font size became miniscule on my browser.

  12. It is a hard job. When they are dependent on you and you raise them until they are adopted, it is extremely hard to let them go. When I am in this position I always believe no one will love them as much as I do and they will not do as good of a job taking care of the cat. dependent

  13. You are so right Michael, improving the welfare of animals isn’t easy and you are doing a wonderful job. I’m sure you will help many more cats in the future but always remember your very first special foster boy.
    I love the cat tree! Enjoy your week with Downton while you still have him.

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