They say that if you are at an animal shelter looking to adopt a cat, you should let the cat choose you. The same applies to dogs. It sounds like a nice idea. It’s almost sentimental and a bit cute but is it practical? I think it is but it depends on how you know when a shelter cat has chosen you.
It’s about making an emotional connection. You can’t be very precise in describing how that connection is made. You just know. It may be because the cat or kitten comes to you and gives you the impression that they want to be adopted. They might meow. You may see the desire in their eyes. By their gaze and their general demeanour. By their body language. They’ll be a bundle of subtle signs or just one indication but you will feel that this cat is the one, the chosen one. Correction, you are the chosen one!
There are some more overt and obvious signs that a shelter cat has selected you:
- The cat might start purring in your presence or when you interact with them. This would be a sign that they are content and trust you.
- They seek your attention and engage with you having approached you. They may rub against the bars or reach out with their paws to interact with you.
- They might make eye contact. When you talk back to them they might do that famous slow blink which indicates that they are relaxed and content in your company.
- If allowed to, the cat might nudge against you and rub against your legs. They start behaving as if they are a domestic cat in your home.
- And if a cat feels relaxed in your presence they might stretch out and lie down comfortably near you. Once again this tells you that they feel relaxed in your company.
- And finally, a cat might initiate play with you which can be a positive sign.
A story of adoption
A story on social media highlights how we should allow the rescue cat do the choosing. It concerns a 14-year-old teenager who went to a local shelter to adopt a female kitten she had seen. Her mind was set. Her mum told her not to adopt a kitten. In the teenager’s words (she’s 18 now): “My mom told me not to get the kitten, because even though I wanted her, she didn’t want me. She said the animal would decide, and I’m so glad I took that advice, because the very next day we went to the Humane Society and this boy stole the spotlight immediately!”
She was smitten by an 11-year-old male cat with a heart murmur and a limp! Certainly not a glamorous little cute kitten. But she didn’t care about these minor defects.
She said: “He’s the friendliest thing in the world and immediately came up to us.”
There you are, the moment that this elderly boy chose her; adopted her. She fell for it. There was an immediate connection. His personality suited her personality. It’s about chemistry really.
Clearly, she’s the type of young woman who is sensitive to the needs of companion animals. Her chosen cat was very friendly; a great aspect of a cat’s personality. The minor health problems faded into the background as the personality took over.
She believes that her chosen cat had spent some time on the streets and when he gave a love bite, he bit too hard. So, she was bitten by him but she was sensitive towards this. She was patient and he got better at it.
“We believed that since he grew up on the streets most likely, he probably didn’t know how to softly bite as a love bite, since then he’s gotten much better at it. He still doesn’t warn you when he’s going to bite you unlike my grandma’s cat, but still. He’s amazing!”
He is now 15 years of age and this young woman (we don’t know her name) says that he “has the mind of a two-month-old kitten, he has so much energy and BOY does she like to make his opinions known, he never shuts up.”
She loves him and her love is reciprocated. There must be millions of stories just like this. I think when you go to a shelter you have to allow the cat to show you signs that you are the chosen one. Perhaps the advice is not to go to a shelter with preconceived ideas about the kind of cat you want to adopt.
Go with an open mind and observe and interact and see what happens. Give the cats a chance to express themselves in your company and you will probably come away with the right companion.
Of course, when selecting a cat at a shelter, you have to behave in a calm and respectful way while allowing the cat to set their own boundaries and to build trust.
