Are my two tom cats fighting over me!

by ~Silvermist~
(United States)

I have two toms, Graycloud and Slim (both brothers). I pet them both all the time and spend every second of every day I can with them and they both get along with each other just fine.

But, one day, when my oldest cat, Graycloud, (by a month), was sitting in my lap, Slim came padding up, heading toward me. Graycloud started growling and hissing and even tried to bite Slim. I was like, ‘What the heck?!’

And after that moment Graycloud wouldn’t let Slim anywhere near me! If he even tried to approach me Graycloud would start growling.

Now I’ve read on this site somewhere that cats “Gurgl” when they “Courtship, our are mating” or whatever. He’s been doing that everytime he sees me also since that moment. I know the sound because I listened to at least three diffrent audios of it for domestic cats. O-o…..

~Silvermist~


Hi ~Silvermist~ thanks for sharing this unusual behavior. I have changed the title to indicate what you think and what I think might be happening.

It sounds weird, as you said in your original title, but I believe that it is possible for male cats to fight over a person where there is a close relationship between cat(s) and a person. There may be some sexual context as well.

In a crude sense Graycloud thinks he has won the right to mate with you! Don’t take that the wrong way. He sees you as a cat and his behavior is instinctive.

Male wild cats do sometimes fight over females. Lions come immediately to mind. Although lions rarely fight over females, they can get badly injured fighting for mating rights.

That said I’ll do some research today. What I have written is just a gut feeling without more thought. And it is a rather extreme idea.

Someone else visiting may have seen the same behavior with their cats and have a different answer.

I have to say that I have never read about this behavior in the books that I have on cats. I have a number of books. I have to conclude that it is probably quite rare if my suggestion and your thoughts are correct.

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Are my two tom cats fighting over me!

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Mar 07, 2012
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Male cats fighting, need to be neuter! NEW
by: Anonymous

Silvermist:
Very commendable these 2 cats are allowing you to be their friend, a special connection between cats & humand.
It clearly seems your tom cats perceive you as a feline female & owned you, you must neuter ASAP to prevent serious problems. Neutered males don’t roam, fight nor spray & live healthier,live calmer & longer.
Silvermist will be happy too just knowing she has done what needs to be done in taking care of these Toms.
Wish you the best,
a cat lover/rescuer for over fifty years


8 thoughts on “Are my two tom cats fighting over me!”

  1. The author of the best comment will receive an Amazon gift of their choice at Christmas! Please comment as they can add to the article and pass on your valuable experience.
  2. Hi Robert, thanks for sharing. You confirm that there is a lot of heirarchial stuff going on with cats and humans, and humans are in the loop. People are part of the cat family. There is little research on this. I think it is very interesting and there could be more work on this because it affects household harmony and the success of the cat to human relationship.

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