Are there any men who foster rescue cats? This is a just a straight question and the reason why I ask is because I have made two applications to be a cat fosterer to rescue organisations who say they need fosterers (one of them say they are desperate for fosterers – see the image above) and after waiting several days for a response to my several emails I am still waiting. I left a voicemail as well; no response.
I find this very strange as they advertise for fosterers. I would have at least expected a fairly prompt response saying they no longer require fosterers.
I live in a place recognised as good for cats meaning it is as safe as it can get in Greater London.
I have this dread feeling that there might be a certain amount of sexism in the cat fostering world. I could be badly mistaken and I hope I am wrong but I have drawn a complete blank when I feel I should have at least received a response.
The two places I applied to are: the famous Battersea Dogs & Cats Home and Animal Rescue & Care (Richmond – near to where I live). Battersea is not far either.
The question I have is: is there sexism in cat fostering?
Would you like to foster Sidney Vicious for the next 20 years? Can’t keep him. Can’t get rid of him.
As anyone knows, the clergy is a minority – a subculture. So are matchbook and stamp collectors. Peace Corp volunteers. Model train buffs. Teetotalers. Nudists. Parakeet breeders. Protest marchers. Shriners. Spelunkers. Bibliophiles. Greenpeacers. Vegetarians & vegans. People who rescue cats. All are minorities.
But are slackers a minority? ‘. . .the production of unwanted cats at the source – irresponsible cat ownership by a minority?’ [MB]
If you walked them through the ABCs of caring for cats – neutering, a varied diet, ear-mite, flea and worm preventions, vaccinations, medical and dental care, fresh litter, a comfortable shelter – and costs, over the cat’s lifetime, not of hundreds but thousands of dollars, how many slackers would gaze at you with a vacant half-smile and profound incomprehension? Then tell you how much they love their cat?
Conversely, how many responsible people leave nothing undone in caring for a cat they neither want nor love? How many know that love for a cat leads them into wastelands of sorrow when the cat dies? How many are stuck with a new cat they cannot find a home for?
What caregiver with a grain of compassion can dump a cat at a ‘no-kill’ shelter? Or if ‘no-kills’ are a reality, how can he know the cat he’s walking away from won’t sit in a cage for months and years? And unless he’s naïve, what caregiver surrenders a cat to the first comer who offers to adopt it?
For many adopters do not feed cats – or cannot afford – a varied diet. Some also declaw. Neglect to provide the cat with medical/dental care. Shelter. Neutering. Protection from noise and unsupervised kids. Access to sunlight and fresh air. Rescuers know too many adopters who champion the view that ‘a cat’s only a cat! So lighten up!’
And what if a caregiver favors a certain type of adopter: a reasonably learned, peaceful couple, solvent, sessile and committed to each other for the lifetime of the cat?
Would caregivers swayed by this vision inflame potential adopters? Would some tell him what he could do with his cat?
That’s okay. The shelves of supermarkets and feed stores are crammed with high-quality cat food. Vet clinics are crammed with parents willing to spend their last dime on their fur-kids. And many potential adopters have fenced yards or enclosed fresh-air porches.
As for the joys of caregiving, can a cat fill the ‘hole’ in a caregiver’s ‘psyche’ and ‘life?’ [MB] He might to some extent, when he is young. But when he is old, he fills his parent with sadness. And when he dies – and long after he’s died – he fills him with more sadness. Doesn’t suffering build character? Not without the unlimited funds and resilience that power the zest to keep adopting cats.
As for being tied down:
‘The personal relationships of animal rescuers can also suffer. It makes me think. Dedicated cat rescuers are going to have to go it alone because it would seem that there is little room in their lives other than the animals they are rescuing.’ [MB]
Could a lifetime of this mean a rescuer gives a subsequent cat every tangible good that love provides, without loving the cat? Does he feel only a wearied benevolence toward a cat he doesn’t want, but won’t release to strangers? Does he give it a home because he feels this act of mercy is enriching and affordable? What if he feels nothing of the sort? What if he does it because he cares about its welfare? A state of mind akin to love, but light-years from enjoyment.
Potential adopters need to be grilled. The interview can be friendly. It needn’t be abrasive or pliant. No one but those unable to offer adequate care will take umbrage. If the staff is short on time, a caregiver worried about the cat can pay them to sift applicants through a fine-mesh screen. Better yet, the caregiver, himself, might be the best person to interview the applicant. After thirty minutes of this, those with a casual take on adoption would winnow the chaff by walking out the door. But applicants who welcomed the interview and understood its purpose would give the cat a decent home.
__________
So much for that pipedream.
Shelters pass out brief applications. Ask a few questions. The cages are filled. The turnover needs to be brisk, and animals are sold to nearly anyone. Or given the needle.
You want my cat? He has twin kiwi-gonads. White teeth. He learned to use litter box last week. He sleeps in his snuggy-loo in the garage for twelve hours a night.
Nothing to look at by Helmi’s standards. Picturesque, though. A mass of dark brown & golden-brown flecks w/white chest & paws. Left ear droops a mite. No visible scars. Pinned down last week with long-handled fishnet and dabbed with Advantage.
Ate vermifuge pill a few days ago. Stared aghast, but gulped it down when crushed into cat food. Will not touch kibbles. Only canned cat food. Has gained weight. Eats @ 14 oz.+ of cat food per day. No longer feel protruding spine & hip sockets.
Will pay his air fare. He’s yours, if you want him. A dashing little man.
Wow…that is an interesting comment. (you’d duplicated it inadvertently so I have deleted the duplication).
I will certainly consider taking up your offer. Are you serious about the offer? Do you have a photo? My preference is for a female cat this time. Am I allowed to have a preference like that I wonder?
Yes you are entitled to have a Female, a female would be lovely. Female Cats are lovely.
It is a natural choice for a man. It seems that way.
Yes I’m happy with either. I’ve had both Males and Females. I do like how males after being fixed how loving and smooch they are. I don’t have a preference though. I think Jasmine is really good for me as she has helped in many ways.
hi Sylvia what is Kiwi Gonads? Hope your well. Just wandering why do u want to get rid of this Cat?
Respected and expert in cats knowledge Michael says:
“I have this dread feeling that there might be a certain amount of sexism in the cat fostering world. I could be badly mistaken and I hope I am wrong but I have drawn a complete blank when I feel I should have at least received a response.”
aAAAaaah BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM, I think you have started to think in your research in the same path as Sigmund Freud of Germany (The psychiatrist).
Just kidding with you being a friend, please don’t mind it. 😉
But I think you are right in a way… but I see people prefer to foster MALE cats instead of FEMALE.
I personally love to foster females and my daughter Khadija loves TUM TUM and WILD SAJID the cats. I love them, too but I think that female cats and kittens love to come easy to me as Black Beauty, PINKY, LAILA, BUBBY (killed), PUMA (Kitten killed), KHOLA, PINKY II, Black shy, Black GRANNY, and so many more.
I see special affection towards me in their shinny eyes and they rub their heads with me, they never scratched me ever and I want to tell here that TUM TUM scratched me. Blood all over me while I responded him with no anger and just acted my self as I am crying with pain and there was no pain just acting!!! He was sorry and came back to me and sat on my legs and started weeping. I pet him.
AAAaaah Sexes, do you really think it Michael, its a new step of research, if I am not wrong! 😉
🙂 There is a lot of sexism in the UK at work and the world of cat rescue is run by women. I have not seen a male cat fosterer.
As for male and female cats: I prefer female cats. I think you’ll find that women prefer male cats and men prefer female cats. Normal I guess but it indicates that cats are a human substitute! More Freudian stuff 😉
it indicates that cats are a human substitute! More Freudian stuff
HAHAHAHAHAhahahaha
I am in a Freudian mood. How many women adopt cats as baby substitutes? I know my relationship with my first cat was one of father to daughter. When she died it was as if I had lost a daughter. I can still cry over her now 20 years later.
True but not for wanting a baby or child. I just Love something to love and that loves me back their love is so unconditional. Its such a relief just to pat a Cat and feel that love who doesn’t judge or reject.
Sad ,,,, made me cry 🙁
Why the TIME AND SPACE of a cat is faster than human???
any answer???? please
I’ve pondered that too Ahsan, a cat’s life is so very short in comparison to a human’s life, but why?
Look how they age so quickly, our Walter and Jozef are now older than I am, yet they have only been in this world for 13 years.
Thank you so much Ruth <3
It always worries me if I have a cat and next 12 to 18 years approx are with her and then there is only me and memoirs of her. I some times become mad and cry at night when I am alone and remember my previous babies and how they were treated or died. Some times I speak to my GOD that it is punishment of spirit to have a cat but I can not stop to nourish the next because it makes my spirit stronger ever, it's like I know the future pain and I just STEP IN to it.
🙁 thank you again <3
I know exactly what you mean Ahsan, for every cat we love, we know there is heartbreak in store in the future.
I still remember the pain of losing our very first cat and all the cats since, we have had over 40 years.
I think we never ever get over the loss of a family member, whether a human or a pet and Babz and I have lost so many of both we wonder how we go on, our hearts are full.
But we have no choice do we, we can only keep on caring for the living and remembering the dead with love, we just have to get used to living without them but it’s very hard xx
Ruth, I genuinely wonder whether I can take another cat death. Every time it has been agony and they have all left their mark on me. A friend I know stopped caring for a cat because of this reason. I wouldn’t agree with that but I understand.
Yes I understand your friend too, I often wonder why I do it to myself, loving all our cats so much that it’s torture when one dies. I honestly don’t know how we go on without them. But we have to weigh up the years of pleasure they bring us and the need for good homes for cats and when we do that we really can’t refuse to take in another cat who needs us.
Your grief for Charlie is still very new and raw, eventually it will settle to a dull throb of pain, but it will hit you with force at times for the rest of your life.
It’s very hard to be strong but we have to for the sake of the cats who need us.
‘Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all’
Life is cruel!
I love both Male and female. You are Probably right. I guess it comes to that usually Cat Carers are Female. Its very unusual to see Males. But i think its a good thing like changing of the times it used to be. As there are alot of feeling/empathic/sensitive Men out there. Which is always a good thing i believe.
Well that is interesting. I love my male cats and i myself am male. All 3 of my cats have been male. For me maybe its more the stature they hold. They are so much larger and so much more to hold. (IF THEY ALLOW IT) haha. I know you miss your Charlie still. It’s normal to feel all you are feeling yet. We need to get you up and active doing what you do best! Attend to the cats. You have awakened me to the world of sexism however. I never thought about it really until you presented the possibility. I still think it is bad practice to exclude males from participating in doing something worthwhile for society and animals (cats) as a whole. Keep us updated ok?
I think this gender preference for female cats (for male owners) and vice versa comes from the simple and obvious point that commonly humans are attracted to humans of the opposite sex.
I don’t know for sure that I am correct. I sense I am in which case there will be more male cats owned by women than female cats. That underlying desire is counteracted by the fact that female cats are less territorial, more passive and more accepting (possibly) although it is far from black and white. These female traits are desirable for some cat owners.
Well, i never owned a female cat before. I am limited on my knowledge about how the sexes vary. I just know i always loved my male cats. I got this boundless supple of affection from my first cat Chad. Just a friendly and shy until he got to know you kinda guy. Second one died too early to know how he would turn out and Tyler my 3rd is a work in progress. He is changing each day to the cat i wanted him to be. I just love the size of male cats i guess. Love how they waltz around so proud and gracious. Your observation and theory is interesting however. I need to ask around to some of the cat people i know why they chose the cat they did. Was it based on sex alone or other things.
I like male cats in the classic male buddy bonding sense. I like true male cats that are unneutered too. They are the bees-knees (true maleness in the domestic cat is glorious).
But at the end of the day I probably prefer a female sweetie. Pretty cat and quiet, gentle company and perhaps a little bit easier to look after (e.g. less of a roamer etc.).
Hey excuse me for a slip of the brain, but i’m trying to find things you wrote about on Charlie. What i am curious about, was Charlie a male cat? Just curious how you came about obtaining Charlie? How did you view his self as a cat?
No probs. Charlie was male. He was neutered and he was my mother’s cat. When she died I took him on. That was about 5-6 years ago. It was unplanned. I just saw him in my parent’s house which was empty because my father was in hospital at the time and decided there and then to take him – a big decision.
There was no reference to male of female cats in that decision. It was a classic cat rescue!
Maybe to be a Cat Foster you need to be more than just a man, maybe you need to have a certain personality etc. Plus the time as well.
Do you think I’d make a good cat fosterer?
You would!!! I was wondering how you were coping as I know you been so busy writing articles. I just hope your coping ok. I think Michael you have a special Caring Personality nature. I think as both yourself and marc and we we all are here are Very Sensitive/understanding to cats Needs. Also it might help take your mind off Charlie’s Passing. I would foster if i could, but I got too many Cats now. With Moving Next Year I don’t want to add anymore. What do you think, do you think your be able to foster Cats? Also with your knowledge that you’ve put on this website you would be a perfect candidate.
I think fostering for a while will help fill the hole in my life after Charlie’s passing and do some good at the same time. But it seems they won’t let me foster. I have noticed that Cats Protection have a branch about 5 miles from my home so I’ll contact them for either fostering or adoption. When I adopt a new cat companion I’ll probably be from Cats Protection.
Yes I think it will help as it cant be easy having no Cat around. Yes that sounds like a good Idea. It’s supporting a good Cause. I don’t understand why that they don’t take on Males. I guess its the same with Males in Teacher Roles and in Kindergarten etc. It’s always a few Bad Men,who make it worse for all the Good/trustworthy ones out there. It’s really a sad world.
Cats Protection should snap you up Michael! You would make a brilliant foster carer and who knows, you might fall for one of your cats and decide to keep him.
Your home must be so empty without Charlie, bless him, you need another cat or even two in his honour.
GO FOR IT!!!
I feel bereft and the place lacks life.
I don’t know anyone (men) who foster cats, but neither have i heard where men are trying to get in the door to do so. I WOULD NOT give up too quickly. Don’t get discouraged i think you would make a wonderful candidate!! Continue to make contact with these organisations even at the risk of sounding pesky. It’s ok to fight for what you want!! Do it! Don’t make me come over there Michael, it won’t be good!! HAHAHA…. I guess you are feeling anxious since the loss of your baby huh? You want to get back into the arena and fight and help out these animals in need. I applaud your persistence and desire. NOW GO and start making calls or emails to get this started! I expect good things!
Thanks Jayme. I do feel there is sexism in the fostering world. Or they know me from the website or my Google Plus profile page and have decided I am TROUBLE 😉
I wanted to foster for a while. I feel I need to nurture a cat. I have a need to nurture generally. To be a father. And I am lonely and bereft without Charlie.
You’d better come over and pretend you are me, then they’ll let me foster 😉
I know a awesome guy who does foster care through a shelter in Washington. He has a kittencam on livestream.
Fantastic 😉 Is he the only one….LOL Just kidding.
I know 2 men who, alone, foster cats.
But, mostly, fostering is done by women or couples.
In the case of couples, the man plays an equal role in caretaking, for the most part.
I think fostering would be good for Michael Broad.
And, where the hell is Marc these days?
Marc is busy with cat stuff. I miss him here too.
Thank you Dee for recommending me. I’ll use that in an application 😉
Marc has disappeared and I miss him. It is OK, though – have to respect choices. There is no obligation to stay around.
Welcome to your future Michael…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiHXASgRTcA