HomeAnimal RescuefosteringAre there any men who foster rescue cats?

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Are there any men who foster rescue cats? — 66 Comments

  1. In terms of fosterers I only know women, couples of families who foster. Perhaps even though some men on their own love cats I just think that it isn;t the obvious choice for them to occupy their spare time.

  2. Michael I don’t want to be a pushy parent but you would love Mr Jinks he would really bond with you and love you my husband adores him he just lounges around on your lap all day! (Mr Jinks not my husband).

    Mr J is a man’s cat there’s nothing he loves more than hanging around with my hubby. No pressure of course but he said he would love to meet you 🙂 he so desperately needs a forever home

  3. Howdy, Kylie –

    What!?

    Could have sworn you lived in the Land of the Kiwi!
    The expression referred to a guy’s ‘manly bits’ (as they call them in England). Sidney ‘s intact, and the neutering fee over here, according to Ruthie, is substantially higher than it is in the UK.

    You ask why I want to give him away.

    Have been caring for cats for over three decades, and have ‘shot my bolt,’ as the saying goes. Heresy on a website for cats, but there you have it. Everything’s finite. Everything ends. My cats have always cost a bundle. Sid’s meals run about $70.00 a month — and his flea repellent, ear drops, worming pills, etc. totaled close to $90.00 last month. So the costs add up.

    Moreover, since moving here nine years ago, I’ve lost eleven cats. Eight were starved & neglected strays, some very ill. I took in the worst for only a day or a week, after which I had them put down to end their misery. The others lasted for some years, but I also helped them toward the end (they were euthanized) because, living outdoors, they picked up diseases from other cats in the neighborhood. One of the cats died in a ditch, for all I know. I fed him well for almost eight years, and tried to tame him, but he always tottered back to his ‘home’ down the road. Last spring a day came when he never returned. Another cat I especially loved – also a stray – had tooth decay several years ago. His extractions cost nearly $900.00, and he died of kidney failure two days later. One of my dearest housecats also died of FeLV, and another housecat of cancer. Last spring, my boy died of old age when he was nearly 22. When I say they ‘died,’ I don’t mean that I let these cats stagger around the house and yard until they dropped. I put them all to sleep.

    Don’t know what you think, but I’d never advise someone who lives alone to adopt a cat. My human family is dead and gone, and the people in these frontier towns, as nice as they are, prefer hunting dogs to cats. I.e., they can’t figure out why anyone would mourn a cat. Have mentioned this once before on POC, but when these farmers’ ‘barn cats’ age or sicken, they take them out in the woods and shoot them. Are they monsters? Surprisingly, they’re just hard-working people with limited funds who can’t afford thousands of dollars in vet fees, cremations and urns. They have families to support, which is why they end their cats’ suffering quickly and cost-free. Could you and I do this? Of course not. We’d keel over. But these farmers take what they see as the only way of living on a tight budget. Besides, they’re not really bonded to their cats. They’re used to slaughtering chickens and pigs and other livestock – and cats don’t mean that much more to them.

    But as to living alone, something tells me a cat’s death is harder to take than if you have kids and grandkids galore, hordes of relatives, neighbors, et al., slamming in and out of your house all day long and into the night – cooking, laughing and chatting, watching TV. Because when you live by yourself, you come home at the end of the day, turn the key in the lock, open the door and walk into a house that’s silent as a sepulcher. Friends can come and visit you, and you can visit them. And even when you’re home alone, I’m sure you agree there are so many fun things to do – also things that need doing! – there’s no time to feel bored. Yet emptiness hangs in the air. You see your beloved boy or girl’s scratch-post – dusty and forgotten. And you break down.

    Were they ‘substitute children?’ I never saw my own as ‘substitutes’ for anything. Unless he is heartless, no human parent is going to tell his adopted son or daughter ‘Don’t you forget that you and I aren’t related!’ My cats were my kids. Bet you felt the same about yours. So yes. It’s painful. As if you didn’t’ know that already.

    Is there less anguish if you’re surrounded by family members – human or cat-kin – or if you care for feral colonies? Don’t know. All I know is that I don’t want any more cats. The expense is atrocious. So is the sorrow when they die.

    As a footnote to this, when you have cats it’s next to impossible to go anywhere. You can go away for a few hours, but then you have to come home again. Unless you have someone you trust to care for your cats in your absence, you’re nailed down. I’d like to drive to California (my home state) this spring to smell the acacias in bloom, but won’t get to do this unless I can find Sid a good home. His welfare is important to me, but so far I’ve had no luck in meeting a Grade A adoptive parent. Bottom line: I can’t just leave him with anyone. That’s not going to happen.

    You’re heading into spring, right? Have heard New Zealand is the most beautiful country in the world.
    Stay happy and well, and enjoy your kids! x

    • Yes I do live in the Kiwi Land(new Zealand) just never herald that expression before. Yes New Zealand is beautiful I guess. So many people tell me its like amazing which I guess it is. Well I wont mind being alone as I was used to it before I got with my Ex. I’m an Introvert and do love peace and Quiet, but do like a little time with some people. so I can Cope being by myself. As long as I have Cats for Company. I have been re-adjusting to life. I’m just hoping that a good house will come available where I Can take three Cats and live in Harmony. It’s a hard thing for me breaking up the Cat family. I have just herald when I do move that my ex will stay in this house so at least the Cats will be at home here which puts my mind at rest. As I do love the peacefulness here. I understand what you mean as I guess things are getting expensive as your older. I just couldn’t survive if I didn’t have some form of animal in my life. I know my father is 75 and he would be a mess without his wee little dog. Yes its pretty much Spring/summer its trying to make up its mind what it wants to do.

  4. I’m not sure about fostering really.
    For me, with every cat or kitten that goes to a new home, I lose a piece of my heart. It’s worrisome.
    Your heart was just ripped out, Michael. To have it ripped out again would be more than I could even take.
    When you are ready, you need a cat that is your true companion for life.

  5. Do these idiots not know who you are? Have you mentioned you’re a walking cat encyclopedia? They should know who they’re passing up! Let me at em!

  6. Would you like to foster Sidney Vicious for the next 20 years? Can’t keep him. Can’t get rid of him.

    As anyone knows, the clergy is a minority – a subculture. So are matchbook and stamp collectors. Peace Corp volunteers. Model train buffs. Teetotalers. Nudists. Parakeet breeders. Protest marchers. Shriners. Spelunkers. Bibliophiles. Greenpeacers. Vegetarians & vegans. People who rescue cats. All are minorities.

    But are slackers a minority? ‘. . .the production of unwanted cats at the source – irresponsible cat ownership by a minority?’ [MB]

    If you walked them through the ABCs of caring for cats – neutering, a varied diet, ear-mite, flea and worm preventions, vaccinations, medical and dental care, fresh litter, a comfortable shelter – and costs, over the cat’s lifetime, not of hundreds but thousands of dollars, how many slackers would gaze at you with a vacant half-smile and profound incomprehension? Then tell you how much they love their cat?

    Conversely, how many responsible people leave nothing undone in caring for a cat they neither want nor love? How many know that love for a cat leads them into wastelands of sorrow when the cat dies? How many are stuck with a new cat they cannot find a home for?

    What caregiver with a grain of compassion can dump a cat at a ‘no-kill’ shelter? Or if ‘no-kills’ are a reality, how can he know the cat he’s walking away from won’t sit in a cage for months and years? And unless he’s naïve, what caregiver surrenders a cat to the first comer who offers to adopt it?

    For many adopters do not feed cats – or cannot afford – a varied diet. Some also declaw. Neglect to provide the cat with medical/dental care. Shelter. Neutering. Protection from noise and unsupervised kids. Access to sunlight and fresh air. Rescuers know too many adopters who champion the view that ‘a cat’s only a cat! So lighten up!’

    And what if a caregiver favors a certain type of adopter: a reasonably learned, peaceful couple, solvent, sessile and committed to each other for the lifetime of the cat?

    Would caregivers swayed by this vision inflame potential adopters? Would some tell him what he could do with his cat?

    That’s okay. The shelves of supermarkets and feed stores are crammed with high-quality cat food. Vet clinics are crammed with parents willing to spend their last dime on their fur-kids. And many potential adopters have fenced yards or enclosed fresh-air porches.

    As for the joys of caregiving, can a cat fill the ‘hole’ in a caregiver’s ‘psyche’ and ‘life?’ [MB] He might to some extent, when he is young. But when he is old, he fills his parent with sadness. And when he dies – and long after he’s died – he fills him with more sadness. Doesn’t suffering build character? Not without the unlimited funds and resilience that power the zest to keep adopting cats.

    As for being tied down:

    ‘The personal relationships of animal rescuers can also suffer. It makes me think. Dedicated cat rescuers are going to have to go it alone because it would seem that there is little room in their lives other than the animals they are rescuing.’ [MB]

    Could a lifetime of this mean a rescuer gives a subsequent cat every tangible good that love provides, without loving the cat? Does he feel only a wearied benevolence toward a cat he doesn’t want, but won’t release to strangers? Does he give it a home because he feels this act of mercy is enriching and affordable? What if he feels nothing of the sort? What if he does it because he cares about its welfare? A state of mind akin to love, but light-years from enjoyment.

    Potential adopters need to be grilled. The interview can be friendly. It needn’t be abrasive or pliant. No one but those unable to offer adequate care will take umbrage. If the staff is short on time, a caregiver worried about the cat can pay them to sift applicants through a fine-mesh screen. Better yet, the caregiver, himself, might be the best person to interview the applicant. After thirty minutes of this, those with a casual take on adoption would winnow the chaff by walking out the door. But applicants who welcomed the interview and understood its purpose would give the cat a decent home.
    __________

    So much for that pipedream.

    Shelters pass out brief applications. Ask a few questions. The cages are filled. The turnover needs to be brisk, and animals are sold to nearly anyone. Or given the needle.

    You want my cat? He has twin kiwi-gonads. White teeth. He learned to use litter box last week. He sleeps in his snuggy-loo in the garage for twelve hours a night.

    Nothing to look at by Helmi’s standards. Picturesque, though. A mass of dark brown & golden-brown flecks w/white chest & paws. Left ear droops a mite. No visible scars. Pinned down last week with long-handled fishnet and dabbed with Advantage.

    Ate vermifuge pill a few days ago. Stared aghast, but gulped it down when crushed into cat food. Will not touch kibbles. Only canned cat food. Has gained weight. Eats @ 14 oz.+ of cat food per day. No longer feel protruding spine & hip sockets.

    Will pay his air fare. He’s yours, if you want him. A dashing little man.

    • Wow…that is an interesting comment. (you’d duplicated it inadvertently so I have deleted the duplication).

      I will certainly consider taking up your offer. Are you serious about the offer? Do you have a photo? My preference is for a female cat this time. Am I allowed to have a preference like that I wonder?

  7. Respected and expert in cats knowledge Michael says:

    “I have this dread feeling that there might be a certain amount of sexism in the cat fostering world. I could be badly mistaken and I hope I am wrong but I have drawn a complete blank when I feel I should have at least received a response.”

    aAAAaaah BUM BUM BUM BUM BUM, I think you have started to think in your research in the same path as Sigmund Freud of Germany (The psychiatrist).

    Just kidding with you being a friend, please don’t mind it. 😉

    But I think you are right in a way… but I see people prefer to foster MALE cats instead of FEMALE.
    I personally love to foster females and my daughter Khadija loves TUM TUM and WILD SAJID the cats. I love them, too but I think that female cats and kittens love to come easy to me as Black Beauty, PINKY, LAILA, BUBBY (killed), PUMA (Kitten killed), KHOLA, PINKY II, Black shy, Black GRANNY, and so many more.

    I see special affection towards me in their shinny eyes and they rub their heads with me, they never scratched me ever and I want to tell here that TUM TUM scratched me. Blood all over me while I responded him with no anger and just acted my self as I am crying with pain and there was no pain just acting!!! He was sorry and came back to me and sat on my legs and started weeping. I pet him.

    AAAaaah Sexes, do you really think it Michael, its a new step of research, if I am not wrong! 😉

    • 🙂 There is a lot of sexism in the UK at work and the world of cat rescue is run by women. I have not seen a male cat fosterer.

      As for male and female cats: I prefer female cats. I think you’ll find that women prefer male cats and men prefer female cats. Normal I guess but it indicates that cats are a human substitute! More Freudian stuff 😉

        • I am in a Freudian mood. How many women adopt cats as baby substitutes? I know my relationship with my first cat was one of father to daughter. When she died it was as if I had lost a daughter. I can still cry over her now 20 years later.

          • True but not for wanting a baby or child. I just Love something to love and that loves me back their love is so unconditional. Its such a relief just to pat a Cat and feel that love who doesn’t judge or reject.

            • I’ve pondered that too Ahsan, a cat’s life is so very short in comparison to a human’s life, but why?
              Look how they age so quickly, our Walter and Jozef are now older than I am, yet they have only been in this world for 13 years.

              • Thank you so much Ruth <3

                It always worries me if I have a cat and next 12 to 18 years approx are with her and then there is only me and memoirs of her. I some times become mad and cry at night when I am alone and remember my previous babies and how they were treated or died. Some times I speak to my GOD that it is punishment of spirit to have a cat but I can not stop to nourish the next because it makes my spirit stronger ever, it's like I know the future pain and I just STEP IN to it.

                🙁 thank you again <3

              • I know exactly what you mean Ahsan, for every cat we love, we know there is heartbreak in store in the future.
                I still remember the pain of losing our very first cat and all the cats since, we have had over 40 years.
                I think we never ever get over the loss of a family member, whether a human or a pet and Babz and I have lost so many of both we wonder how we go on, our hearts are full.
                But we have no choice do we, we can only keep on caring for the living and remembering the dead with love, we just have to get used to living without them but it’s very hard xx

                • Ruth, I genuinely wonder whether I can take another cat death. Every time it has been agony and they have all left their mark on me. A friend I know stopped caring for a cat because of this reason. I wouldn’t agree with that but I understand.

              • Yes I understand your friend too, I often wonder why I do it to myself, loving all our cats so much that it’s torture when one dies. I honestly don’t know how we go on without them. But we have to weigh up the years of pleasure they bring us and the need for good homes for cats and when we do that we really can’t refuse to take in another cat who needs us.
                Your grief for Charlie is still very new and raw, eventually it will settle to a dull throb of pain, but it will hit you with force at times for the rest of your life.
                It’s very hard to be strong but we have to for the sake of the cats who need us.
                ‘Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all’
                Life is cruel!

      • I love both Male and female. You are Probably right. I guess it comes to that usually Cat Carers are Female. Its very unusual to see Males. But i think its a good thing like changing of the times it used to be. As there are alot of feeling/empathic/sensitive Men out there. Which is always a good thing i believe.

      • Well that is interesting. I love my male cats and i myself am male. All 3 of my cats have been male. For me maybe its more the stature they hold. They are so much larger and so much more to hold. (IF THEY ALLOW IT) haha. I know you miss your Charlie still. It’s normal to feel all you are feeling yet. We need to get you up and active doing what you do best! Attend to the cats. You have awakened me to the world of sexism however. I never thought about it really until you presented the possibility. I still think it is bad practice to exclude males from participating in doing something worthwhile for society and animals (cats) as a whole. Keep us updated ok?

        • I think this gender preference for female cats (for male owners) and vice versa comes from the simple and obvious point that commonly humans are attracted to humans of the opposite sex.

          I don’t know for sure that I am correct. I sense I am in which case there will be more male cats owned by women than female cats. That underlying desire is counteracted by the fact that female cats are less territorial, more passive and more accepting (possibly) although it is far from black and white. These female traits are desirable for some cat owners.

          • Well, i never owned a female cat before. I am limited on my knowledge about how the sexes vary. I just know i always loved my male cats. I got this boundless supple of affection from my first cat Chad. Just a friendly and shy until he got to know you kinda guy. Second one died too early to know how he would turn out and Tyler my 3rd is a work in progress. He is changing each day to the cat i wanted him to be. I just love the size of male cats i guess. Love how they waltz around so proud and gracious. Your observation and theory is interesting however. I need to ask around to some of the cat people i know why they chose the cat they did. Was it based on sex alone or other things.

            • I like male cats in the classic male buddy bonding sense. I like true male cats that are unneutered too. They are the bees-knees (true maleness in the domestic cat is glorious).

              But at the end of the day I probably prefer a female sweetie. Pretty cat and quiet, gentle company and perhaps a little bit easier to look after (e.g. less of a roamer etc.).

              • Hey excuse me for a slip of the brain, but i’m trying to find things you wrote about on Charlie. What i am curious about, was Charlie a male cat? Just curious how you came about obtaining Charlie? How did you view his self as a cat?

                • No probs. Charlie was male. He was neutered and he was my mother’s cat. When she died I took him on. That was about 5-6 years ago. It was unplanned. I just saw him in my parent’s house which was empty because my father was in hospital at the time and decided there and then to take him – a big decision.

                  There was no reference to male of female cats in that decision. It was a classic cat rescue!

  8. Maybe to be a Cat Foster you need to be more than just a man, maybe you need to have a certain personality etc. Plus the time as well.

      • You would!!! I was wondering how you were coping as I know you been so busy writing articles. I just hope your coping ok. I think Michael you have a special Caring Personality nature. I think as both yourself and marc and we we all are here are Very Sensitive/understanding to cats Needs. Also it might help take your mind off Charlie’s Passing. I would foster if i could, but I got too many Cats now. With Moving Next Year I don’t want to add anymore. What do you think, do you think your be able to foster Cats? Also with your knowledge that you’ve put on this website you would be a perfect candidate.

        • I think fostering for a while will help fill the hole in my life after Charlie’s passing and do some good at the same time. But it seems they won’t let me foster. I have noticed that Cats Protection have a branch about 5 miles from my home so I’ll contact them for either fostering or adoption. When I adopt a new cat companion I’ll probably be from Cats Protection.

          • Yes I think it will help as it cant be easy having no Cat around. Yes that sounds like a good Idea. It’s supporting a good Cause. I don’t understand why that they don’t take on Males. I guess its the same with Males in Teacher Roles and in Kindergarten etc. It’s always a few Bad Men,who make it worse for all the Good/trustworthy ones out there. It’s really a sad world.

          • Cats Protection should snap you up Michael! You would make a brilliant foster carer and who knows, you might fall for one of your cats and decide to keep him.
            Your home must be so empty without Charlie, bless him, you need another cat or even two in his honour.
            GO FOR IT!!!

  9. I don’t know anyone (men) who foster cats, but neither have i heard where men are trying to get in the door to do so. I WOULD NOT give up too quickly. Don’t get discouraged i think you would make a wonderful candidate!! Continue to make contact with these organisations even at the risk of sounding pesky. It’s ok to fight for what you want!! Do it! Don’t make me come over there Michael, it won’t be good!! HAHAHA…. I guess you are feeling anxious since the loss of your baby huh? You want to get back into the arena and fight and help out these animals in need. I applaud your persistence and desire. NOW GO and start making calls or emails to get this started! I expect good things!

    • Thanks Jayme. I do feel there is sexism in the fostering world. Or they know me from the website or my Google Plus profile page and have decided I am TROUBLE 😉

      I wanted to foster for a while. I feel I need to nurture a cat. I have a need to nurture generally. To be a father. And I am lonely and bereft without Charlie.

      You’d better come over and pretend you are me, then they’ll let me foster 😉

  10. I know 2 men who, alone, foster cats.
    But, mostly, fostering is done by women or couples.
    In the case of couples, the man plays an equal role in caretaking, for the most part.

    I think fostering would be good for Michael Broad.
    And, where the hell is Marc these days?

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