HomeHuman to cat relationshiplove your catCan an excellent cat owner fall out of love with their cat?

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Can an excellent cat owner fall out of love with their cat? — 11 Comments

  1. Agreed. 😢 I worked with a woman who became engaged to be married. Her fiance had a dog, but did not want her cat, her family cat, whom she had for some 12 or 13 years. She took her to the shelter! How did the poor, confused animal feel? What were the odds of her ever being adopted? I am kicking myself for not taking her when I had the chance. By the time I asked this woman, she had already taken her to the shelter. Why I didn’t go to get her, I don’t know or can’t recall. I feel very guilty about that. There is no man alive for whom I would desert my animals.

  2. Selfish, self-centered woman. Being who she is, she never should have gotten this cat. I find this disgusting, reprehensible. Beware, anyone who marries her. She’s apt to abandon you, too. Whatever happened to commitment?

  3. At least the woman is willing to admit that she is no longer cat-owner material and claims she won’t toss the kitty at the shelter. I pray one of the kitty sitters will give her a good home.

  4. This sure hit a chord with readers here. I can only relay my experience. I’ve always loved animals, especially cats. I put off keeping any until a point in my life when I could guarantee they’d have a caring home for life. When came a time I just couldn’t keep a dog I had, when I was more or less forced to live aboard a sailboat, yeah, I had to give up Domino and he paid the ultimate price for MY failure – regardless if I was to blame. The guilt from that made me more determined to do the right thing no matter what. And so when I bought my home, I actually did buy it for my cats – Allie in particular, my then girlfriend who gave her up to me because she got bored with her… and me I suppose which is why I moved, ha ha. There was more to it but still. And since I’ve been here I have done all in my power to care for a total of 18 cats who, when I added up the receipts, OMG that’s a lot of money and a big chunk of my life, but I’d do it again.
    Now while our heroine seems to be going through the motions of doing the right thing, I get the feeling that she’s just as interested in it being the easy thing where she saves face. But hey, there are people in the world who are more horrible. When her cat is really gone, she’ll miss her. Sometimes that happens as a result of death, which is much harder to live with.

  5. I have the feeling that this change may be related to something “new” in her life….a boyfriend. It’s much easier to accept the nuisance things that having a cat entails, when we’re single/alone.

    I remember when I first got romantically involved with someone, after being a single cat guardian for many years.
    Some things had to change to accommodate this new activity. I had to shut my cat out of the bedroom, after years of her having access to it. I put my own feelings above hers, out of practical necessity.

    I had a roommate who let my cat sleep in her room, so that helped.

    So, sometimes it’s not that a cat guardian “falls out of love” but that a human love has necessitated a change. My boyfriend was a cat lover, but neither of us wanted the cat lying on the bed when we were “frolicking around”, which could have actually been dangerous for the cat.

    I’d never consider a romantic partner who didn’t like cats. That’s a factor in any of my close relationships. One of my best friends is allergic to, but loves cats. She can’t come into my home, because of it, so we visit outside or elsewhere. She even feeds stray cats, and feels badly that she can’t let them in, so she hangs out with them on her porch. I was shocked to see a picture of a cat in her house, and asked about it. She said the cat really wanted to come in, so she let her in for awhile and even petted her. She’s trying to find a good home for this cat who was left behind by a heartless neighbor who moved.

  6. Michael, having 13 adopted/rescued kitties, I can understand her feelings a little bit. I get frustrated at times with mine, but, I will NEVER stop loving them. I truly depend on them as much as they depend on me. Yes, sometimes they aggravate me. . .yes, sometimes I get tired of the smell from the litter and cleaning up after them, but them I realize that they are just like human toddlers who need to be looked after, picked up after and cleaned up after. They truly help me keep calm and are a driving force for me being happy (along with my son). I am thankful that this person is realizing that she wants to do the right thing by making sure her kitty is in a loving home and that she just no longer feels she can do this for her. I pray she holds true to her ideals and sees that her *baby* does, indeed, get another loving home to live out her days. . . ♥♥♥ (great post!!)

    • I think you have made a very nice observation. I am the same. But I can’t give up on my cat. At the moment he bites me occasionally. It is just a left over from being outside and reverting to wild cat status. I don’t like it but we’ll get over it.

  7. Of course feelings and degree of attachment can change, as in any other relationship. The question is what she is going to do about it. She is being honest, which is good. What about the commitment she made (analogies with “till death do us part” are evident)? Should she honor it “for better or worse” or, as we say these days, move on? If some degree of neglect has crept in, a friendly “divorce” may be the right answer.
    Perhaps cats do not suffer as much as dogs do from a breakup with a human (a whole other topic). A very wise & famous refugee scientist once said “The successful animal is the one that adapts.” Cats, we will agree, are the most adaptable of animals — humans sometimes much less so.

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