Can you fall out of love with your cat?


Until September 7th I will give 10 cents to an animal charity for every comment. It is a way to help animal welfare without much effort at no cost. Comments help this website too, which is about animal welfare.

You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling with your cat. It’s worse. You dislike your cat. It’s actually worse than that; you wish your cat was dead.

She’s become old and ill. There’s the vet’s bill. It can get expensive looking after an old cat with a chronic and incurable illness.

You’re busy and you now find that after all these years of cat ownership, your cat just irritates you and gets in the way.

If you have these dark thoughts, and I am sure some people do, you’re not the right person to look after a cat. No way, no how. Never live with a cat again.

A proper human-cat relationship has echos of the best marriages. There is give and take and mutual support. It’s ’til death do us part. That is the unwritten commitment a cat caretaker makes when adopting a cat. Nothing else will do.

The commitment can be tested in a cat’s old age. This is a time when the wrong person might feel like getting a new cat in the same way he gets a new car or sofa.

I was prompted to write this article on reading an article on the Guardian newspaper entitled “I wish my cats were dead”. The author is Dave Hill. It was written in 2006 so I expect his wish has come true by now.

He blandly states that he has three cats and he hates them. He explains that he hates them because:

Stinky (formerly Marmalade) produces smelly poo and she sometimes poops out of the litter box. He then inadvertently discloses that he is to blame for Marmalade pooping out of the box because it is dirty (“when the tray is on the full side “) and that the smelly poo is possibly due to a thyroid problem (hyperthyroidism). Marmalade’s hyperthyroidism also irritates him as she is too active. So Dave, I am sure you have learned by now that your attitude is appallingly insensitive.

Then Dave blames Sneezy (formerly Smudge) for being idle and poking him for attention when he is reading to his children. It seems to me that Smudge was probably neglected and when he hears Dave’s voice he is attracted to it and comes over for some interaction.

Finally, he blames Scratchy (formerly Cinders) for scratching herself all the time because of a flea bite allergy. Dave hates it. He also hates it when she joins him at his desk when working at his computer (a Mac). He accuses his cat of being scabby and pawing at his shiny, clean Apple mouse! This is appalling. Clearly Dave had almost completely abdicated his responsibilities towards his cats.

He hates the idea of spending hundreds of pounds on treatments for hyperthyroidism. He prefers to euthanise the lot. So much cheaper. Perhaps the whole article is tongue-in-cheek but it comes across as serious. I think it was meant to be deliberately provocative.

The comments to the article are enlightening. You might expect nearly everyone to criticise him but no, far from it.

At a rough assessment, 45% are against him, 30% for him and 25% who are in the middle ground suggesting something like pet insurance to ease the cost. In other words they are ambivalent.

Perhaps the comments are more shocking than the article. Having managed PoC for 7 years there is no doubt in my mind that there is a large percentage of people who either dislike cats and/or animals generally. Many people are unconcerned about animal welfare. That is the current state of play in the human-to-animal relationship circa 2000.

To answer the question in the title; it is NO, you can’t fall out of love with your cat if you truly love her.

Original article

53 thoughts on “Can you fall out of love with your cat?”

  1. I will love Monty with my last breath.

    When I was at the lowest point in this nasty drug reaction– the most depleted of magnesium and antioxidants but not knowing that that’s what the drug had done to me– I knew that I was in a situation where I could die. And I knew that for Monty’s sake I did not want that to happen. Sure, I thought of Jeff too. But I survived the death of a spouse before Jeff and I got married. It’s tough, but you get through it.

    But Monty. Poor, dear little Monty. What would he do without his mama? Who would be home with him at least a day or two during each week, almost all day with him. Who would talk to him, entertain him by “doing stuff” and spend time with him outside? Jeff works sixty hours a week. He pets and plays with Monty every day, but it’s not the same. And Jeff wouldn’t get another cat. Monty would just be lonely. I knew I had to figure out what was happening and fix it for Monty’s sake. Thank God I aced medical terminology and can read clinical research studies to figure out what was going wrong and what seemed to help.

    I will say this: if you get a panic attack that feels like you are descending into hell every time you begin to fall asleep that is not you not dealing with stress well. That is your body saying, “Wake up, dipshit and do something or you are going to kill us by just laying there.”

    • LOL! I can’t believe you wrote “dipshit”. Not our Ruth!
      I understand completely, not that I think I am the “end all, be all” for cats.
      But, I know that the will to live for my cats is very strong and powerful. The same, I think, for all of us.

      • But to lie there praying instead of getting up and looking for the answer was to be a total dipshit!

        Not that prayer isn’t good. Not that I didn’t gain a lot spiritually through that night of hell.

        But I just had to read more! I had half the picture– magnesium. But really low levels don’t come up with a few pills. I needed antioxidants too, to protect my cells. I still would have had a rough night, but I’d be less worried about tendon damage having been done. Some damaged tendon cells replicate themselves, creating more damaged cells. Fun.

        People think panic attacks are something weak minded people experience who can’t deal with stress. Actually my body was waking me up telling me it was in serious trouble. It wasn’t time to keep trying to go back to sleep, it was time to get up and find a way to save my own life. My body even told me what it needed. I got up in the morning having a major craving for oranges. Ate one and felt on top of the world.

        We need to listen to our bodies more and not think everything is just stress or nerves or whatever. My body was giving me a good kick in the head to get my attention, and then it gave me a feeling of almost euphoria when I did the right thing.

        We are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made.

          • Thanks, Michael. And thanks for talking with me via the phone the other day. I was still pretty worried and upset, not at all sure I would make a full recovery. Many people do not. But I agree with you now. I’m going to make a full recovery. It’s going to take awhile.
            One of the things I thought of realizing I could die or suffer permanent cognitive/psychological problems was that I would really miss being part of our little community at PoC. You guys are all very important to me.

        • Our bodies are truthful.
          You are so right, having taken proactive measures with your own health. Who knows us better than us?
          I’m privileged to be a patient of Shands Health Care University of Florida. They’re brilliant but expect patients to be very proactive. Lots of do’s and don’ts and strict.
          I keep a handwritten note from one of my docs at the headboard of my bed that reads, If you don’t care about you, then why should I?”

          • “If you don’t care about you, then why should I?”

            I wish I had the guts to have said that to some of the patients I worked with in physical therapy! So many when I worked outpatient just wanted a massage and some ultrasound because that feels good. As soon as it came to exercise they didn’t even want to hang around. I learned to put the exercise first for some patients or all they’d ever get was manual therapy and modalities. That’s not physical therapy really. Were these patients doing their home exercise program? Yeah, sure they were. (Being sarcastic.)

            • You could always have a small pin-on or badge with that message. Easy enough at Vista Print.
              Very cheap.
              Then, you wouldn’t have to say a word to the slackers.

            • There is quite a lot of talk in the UK about treating alcoholics and heavy smokers etc. in Accident and Emergency departments at NHS hospitals as second class citizens. This is inline with what you are discussing.

            • How are you doing, Ruth?
              Thinking about you and hoping you are getting stronger and not turning orange from oranges. Oh wait, that’s carrots that turn us orange.

  2. i never would. Saw this lady before she had all these cat stickers proudly on her cat and i was so impressed i said you love cats like we do. was really cool to see someone display their love of cats on their car and not worry about it

    • I love people like that too Kylee. We have Cats Protection stickers in our car and cat stickers in our house windows, sometimes people think they are real cats sitting there lol
      We even have some on our three wheelie bins lol crazy cat ladies.


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