Cat spoons my arm

Your male domestic cat companion might spoon your arm and if they do it’s normal behaviour although possibly quite unusual. In this context “spooning” means cuddling in a position as if both parties are spoons i.e. close to each other in parallel, and it can lead to sex so spooning can also describe sex. I’m going to make the assumption that the title – which was written by somebody else searching for information on Google – refers to their cat having sex with their arm. And I know it sounds a little bit bizarre but, as mentioned, it isn’t.

Gabriel having sex on my arm

Gabriel having sex on my arm. You can see him gripping my dressing gown in his teeth in the belief he is gripping the nape of the neck of a female cat to stop her swiping him angrily. Photo: PoC.

Even a neutered male cat does not lose his sex drive or if they lose some of it they don’t lose all of it. And it is not untypical for a male feral cat to have sex with their mother because of their sex drive. The same can be said about an unsterilized male domestic cat. Yes, this form of cat mating is inbreeding by human standards but it doesn’t bother the cat. We can’t criticise their behavior because cat breeders make sure that their cats do exactly this. It is called selective breeding.

Therefore, in the relationship between male domestic cat and human caregiver, the cat will regard the arm of a human as an object with which they can have sex. It does indicate a confused feline state of mind in my opinion. But this shouldn’t surprise us either.

This is an interspecies relationship in the human world for the domestic cat. The experts aren’t quite sure how cats relate to us as their caregiver. It’s likely that they see us as their surrogate mother and therefore, without rationalising it, they instinctively relate to us as a cat. With that in mind, as explained, it is unsurprising that a male’s sex drive instincts take over whenever they can. It’s just a matter of survival of the family i.e. his family.

So, to recap, if you’re concerned as to why your cat spoons your arm, don’t be. The next question is whether you accept or reject it. In my case, I accept it because it makes him happy and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

Some experts might encourage you to reject it and if it upsets you then by all means do so. But do it nicely. Don’t upset your cat because for him it is natural and he’ll be confused if you are sharp with him and push him off. And in any case you want him to be content. This is your chance to help him find a little bit of happiness!

If spooning in this context means a cat cuddling a person’s arm that, too, is completely normal. It should be welcomed by the person, in fact, as it will make their cat content.


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Michael Broad

Hi, I'm a 74-year-old retired solicitor (attorney in the US). Before qualifying I worked in many jobs including professional photography. I love nature, cats and all animals. I am concerned about their welfare. If you want to read more click here.

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