I’ll be honest. It irritates me to read descriptions of the domestic cat as “aloof”. The domestic cat is not aloof. People are (incorrectly) comparing cats to dogs and concluding that, in comparison, a cat is more independent and less needy than a dog. People construe these attributes as being “aloof”. But do we describe the dog as a fawning, needy pet that slobbers over anyone in sight. No, of course not.
Once again, and I hate to go on about this, the idea that cats are aloof is really more about people’s misplaced perceptions and ideas than about the cat herself.
Yes, cats do have their own minds. They do like space sometimes. They do like a retreat high up or somewhere safe. Sometimes they cuddle up to you. Other times they don’t. This is normal and good. I could be describing your human partner not your cat!
As is often the case, our relationship with the cat comes down to our expectations and demands. We should not harbour false expectations. Neither should we make unreasonable demands on our cat. We should understand the cat, get into the mind of our cat (yes, it is possible) and accept all the attributes that a cat brings to the relationship.
I sense that the source of the aloof cat descriptions are often from people who are ambivalent about the cat or simply dislike the cat. The dislike often comes from a lack of understanding of cat behavior or a prejudice learned from various sources.
Unreasonable prejudices against the cat tend to go undiscussed. Prejudices are learned. They can be unlearned. Prejudices can lead to stating that cats are aloof.
The truth is that the modern day domestic cat has evolved into quite a sociable animal. They make friends with other cats other animals (dogs most often) and people. Each cat has his own character just like people. We should get to know it and respect it. This is acceptance, the cornerstone of a good relationship with anyone or any animal.
Cats are not aloof. They are themselves. Individuals with their own character. The cat is a sociable companion. People just have to discover that quality and put aside misplaced ideas.
No cats aren’t aloof they are only dignified and never yes men
That is a very enlightened point that did not occur to me at all. It means that people demand that the cat be super friendly and if not the cat is aloof. It is about the companion animal being a product to meet demands of companionship. People who call the cat aloof demand that the cat plays a role. This is a reflection on the relationship some have with the cat.
Thanks Marc for that insight.
Ye exactly well put Leah – the less you put into the relationship the less you get out – people who put nothing in are bound to never understand cats and they will always see them as aloof.
And consider this massive irony.
Look at all the fashion video and photography out there that promotes the aloof look as being cool.
Humans are just messed up ignorant fools really. If aliens came here they would probably tip toe straight back out as quickly as possible when they saw how confused and destructive and incompetent we are as a species.
Well put Dee.
For some reason I think Michale is right when he says that the nature of cats is interpreted through the filter of dogs – i.e.: dogs set the standard and therefore cats must be aloof – or some such nonsense.
Exactly!