Dear Agony Aunt: My husband loves our cat too much

What should she do? She says….

He buys “Miss Kitty” special treats, pets her, talks nicely to her, plants quick kisses on the top of her head and lets her sit on his lap while he watches TV for hours. It’s like I’m nonexistent. I wish he would be that nice to me.

She resents their cat, “the queen of our home”. When they are away from the home she has his full attention. It was her who decided on adopting a cat from the shelter but she wants to take Miss Kitty back i.e. relinquish her to the animal shelter.

The advice provided was to find more reasons to be away from home together. Secondly the agony aunt advised adopting a dog and that she walks and feeds the dog unless her husband is a dog whisperer too. (Source: The Mercury News)

Man with cat. This is to illustrate the page only. This is not the cat or man referred to. Picture: Pinterest and therefore in public domain.


This is jealousy isn’t it? The wife is jealous of the family cat. She is quite possibly complaining to him about it which makes things worse. He must find aspects of the relationship with their cat that he can no longer find in his relationship with his spouse. If I was her I’d ask questions about her behaviour to see if she can invigorate his interest to the level it was once at.

You also can’t ignore the fact that Miss Kitty is very fond of him and probably less fond of her. This should be investigated. The likely reason is that he is nicer to Miss Kitty but there good be other factors.

He is attentive to his wife when Miss Kitty is not around. He has not abandoned his wife emotionally. It seems the marriage is stale and needs reinvigorating if possible. I think she should do more for the cat herself.

Perhaps she should play more with the cat, a lot more. I believe that she should attract the affections of their cat with play and food treats plus plenty of TLC. Miss Kitty might then share her time more evenly with them both which would mean less time with him which should lead to him spending more time with her. They could also play with their cat together. That would bring them physically together. They could train their cat to walk on a lead together and then go for a local walk (subject to practical issues such as the urban environment being unsuitable). These are instant thoughts.

I don’t agree with the advice to adopt a dog. That can cause more complications and the outcome is unpredictable. Please comment and tell me what you solution should be.

Michael Broad

Hi, I'm a 71-year-old retired solicitor (attorney in the US). Before qualifying I worked in a many jobs including professional photography. I have a girlfriend, Michelle. I love nature, cats and all animals. I am concerned about their welfare.

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