Do I get a BOY or GIRL kitten?

Do I get a BOY or GIRL kitten?

by Susan
(Newcastle, Australia)

I have a 9 year old desexed male and I want to get a new kitten but I’m worried my cat won’t get on with the kitten.

Will a girl kitten be better then a male? And I want to keep it indoors I have a lot of troubles keeping in my boy inside, do girl cats stay inside more and are not as curious?

Thank-you Susan

Hi Susan…. thanks for visiting. I think this is a good question and one that is not often asked on this site.

I’ll have to fall back on my personal thoughts and experiences.

Going back to basics, in the wild, wildcat behavior gives us the clue as to the differences between the sexes and this squares up with personal experience.

Male wildcats have larger home ranges (territory) than females and females tend to stay nearer their mother’s range.

Males tend to defend territory more aggressively I think it fair to say.

This difference is sex is modified by natural differences in character between individuals.

But overall I think that on average a female is more likely to fit in and less likely to want to go out etc. than a male, particularly an unneutered male.

But each cat has its own character so you should try and find a cat that is more retiring in character.

That said nearly all cats adopt to living with each other in time. The character and sex of the cat just dictates how long it takes to settle in, I think.

Your male cat might see a new cat as an intruder into his territory and resist. I guess it is that you are concerned about. A gradual introduction and time will almost certainly overcome that. And I would tend to lean towards adopting a female cat who is well socialised meaning used to being around people and other animals including cats. It may be clear to you if the new cat has lived in a home where there are other animals and has integrated well due to being socialised to that environment.

Elisa who contributes to this website and who rescues cats – she as 15 or more cats in her home at any one time – finds little problem with newcomers integrating with the existing cats.

I think the atmosphere and general ambiance of the place is a factor too. I’ll ask her to comment.



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Do I get a BOY or GIRL kitten?

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Jul 22, 2011 Jeremy and Lady
by: Ruth

Oh dear, Jeremy sounds really annoyed about Lady and you will be lucky if he accepts her now that he has been away from home as he will feel that she has taken his place.
You’ll have to start from the beginning again, keeping them in seperate rooms etc but longer this time. At 10 years old you can’t really expect him to play with a kitten but just to tolerate living in the same house at first then gradually become friends.
It might be kindest to rehome Lady, Jeremy may be one of those cats who no matter what, just don’t like living with another cat.
So sorry it didn’t work out, good luck if you try again.

Kattaddorra signature Ruth

Until September 7th I will give 10 cents to an animal charity for every comment. It is a way to help animal welfare without much effort at no cost. Comments help this website too, which is about animal welfare.

Jul 21, 2011 My 10 year old cat rejected my new kitten
by: Susan

Its been 1 month since I got Lady Jeremy hist at her wouldnt play with her & would just come inside eat his dinner then wait to go back outside, then about 1&half weeks ago Lady went on heat cause she was under weight the vet said wait another month for Lady to gain some weight she was due to be desexed thursday, But being on heat made Jeremy dislike her even more. Jeremy is a maine coon & is 10 years old. Cause of the cold weather I took Jereemy to a friends house as he wouldn’t come inside anymore.I got Lady desexed wednesday she has stopped her rubbing on the carpet & meowing. Do u think when Jeremy comes home Sunday he will get on with her or still dislike her.Im thinking of giving Lady back to the rescue Lady as her daughter said she will take her I think she’d have a happier home & no old cat hissing at her all the time I just wish Jeremy would like her.
So it didn’t matter girl or boy I think its all up to the cat if it older I think they won’t except any new cats into their homes. Their too spoilt.

Jun 16, 2011 To Susan
by: Ruth

Having had both sexes of kittens and cats over 37 years, most definately females tend to stay closer to home and adapt better to being indoor cats.
We’ve found even neutered indoor/outdoor males usually have larger territories than females and tend to stay out longer. Indoor/outdoor females clock in more regularly.
The main thing is to keep your older cat and your new one apart at first in seperate rooms, swapping them over quite often so they can ‘read’ each others scents for a few days, as that’s how cats get to know each other.
After the few days introduce them into the same room by feeding them together, close but not side by side. Once they have eaten together they have accepted each other.
Another very important thing is to make sure each cat has equal attention from you, don’t pet the new one in front of the older one and make sure each has you to themselves for a while each day for some quality one to one time.
Groom them with the same brush so their scents mingle but have seperate food and water dishes and litter trays for them.
It’s very different introducing a new cat to one resident cat than it is in rescuing new cats as Elisa does, as those cats recognise they are part of a ‘pack’ where as one new cat coming into a house where the resident cat has reigned supreme can cause jealousy.
It will work out if you stay calm and relaxed around the cats, there may be a bit of hissing at first, just keep an eye on them and never leave them alone until you are happy that they are getting along together OK.
Good luck !

Kattaddorra signature Ruth

Jun 16, 2011 Its not about boy or girl
by: Elisa Black-Taylor

It’s not about a boy or girl being the best cat. Its about which cat is the best cat for you. When you go to adopt a cat be sure to hold it. Don’t even ask if it’s a boy or a girl. When you hold it look deep into its eyes. You’ll know which cat is best for you. If the kitty lays back and lets you pet it or rub its tummy and is looking at you like you’re the most special person it’s ever met then that’s your cat.

Spay and neuter surgery is so cheap these days if you use a clinic. The Humane Society where you live can give you a number. Girl cats have more pain with the surgery but after a few weeks they’re back to themselves.

Just get the cat that loves you the most. I’ve rescued 35 using that way to pick them. Go to to see some of my rescues.

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