This is a new twist to a not too unfamiliar story. In this instance a gay woman has a 10-year-old son who is strongly allergic to cats and dogs. The gay woman says that she has a very good relationship with a woman whose name is Zoe. Zoe likes cats. She was the owner of one elderly cat that she loves to bits.
Zoe has said that she will move in with her female lover when her elderly cat dies. Then, out of the blue, she writes a post on Facebook to tell the world that she has adopted two rescue kittens. This obviously sends completely the wrong message to her girlfriend. That was very insensitive and looks bad to me.
The relationship is two years old and both her son and the lady in question love Zoe but the question that they have now is does Zoe love them or does she prefer cats?
It seems that the woman approached Zoe about this and that they fought over it but at the end of the day Zoe is carrying on as normal as if nothing has happened.
She came to her son’s ballgame and her parents’ barbecue. Zoe is the one who proposed moving in with her lover but having adopted two kittens that now seems impossible because of the son’s cat allergy. Is she doing this deliberately? Is she sending a message to her partner that she no a longer wishes to get married and live with her?
Zoe says that her partner is being uncaring and difficult for objecting to her adopting two kittens. What is the solution?
Well, I’ll play at the agony aunt and suggest that she has to confront the matter and ask Zoe if she is serious about the relationship and whether she really wants to live together and get married. It is clearly not a situation that can be left to drift but obviously it needs to be confronted with delicacy and sensitivity. The result may lead to a broken heart but there is no other practical solution other than the one mentioned below.
Perhaps another more subtle solution would be to check that the son is in fact allergic to the kittens. This is because some cats produce more of the cat allergen than others. Usually a unneutered males produced the most cat allergen. Also, it may be possible to take steps to minimise the effects of the cat allergen on the lady’s son. Although his allergy is strong and therefore the suggestion is probably impractical. Although sometimes an allergy to cats fades away or subsides.
An interesting twist to the story is that Zoe’s partner appears to dislike cats. She thinks that Zoe’s cat is highly aggressive. She said that her cat attacks everyone other than Zoe and that she has to wear thick boots and jeans when she visits Zoe in order to protect herself. Perhaps therefore the problem is not Zoe’s but the other woman’s.
I found the story interesting because previously the only situation in which I have read that a cat intervened in a relationship is between the classic man and woman: boyfriend and girlfriend. When this has happened the girlfriend has usually dumped the boyfriend because he does not like cats.