Denise Lane Painter posted November 30, 2017
I just don’t know what to think right now or how to react. I’m just a mess. I posted a fundraiser for a foster I met last summer recently and asked if people could help her. This is a foster whose house I visited a few months ago.
When I visited there, the house was neat and clean. There were at least eight dogs of varying sizes running in and out, and a couple of cats, but all appeared to be well cared for. This person had just finished mowing approximately two acres with a push mower in 97-degree heat. Try that yourself some time. She was quite concerned about the cat that I was picking up from here, what rescue it would be going to, if I had ever been there and did I know them? All the kind of questions I would expect from a caring foster.
I’ve heard from this person occasionally over time, usually just a “Hey, how are you?” bump, like a lot of people I interact with over animal rescue. She has never asked me for a single dime or even asked me to share a fundraiser for her. So when I saw a couple of posts the other night where she was obviously crying, and her message suggested that she might be suicidal, I worried about her.
When I eventually got a chance to talk to her, she sounded like a woman on the edge, ready to jump. I got out of her what her problems were and posted a fundraiser in hopes that if nothing else we could alleviate her immediate financial problems.
Today, I was tagged in one of the meanest, nastiest posts I think I’ve ever seen in rescue. For people who are supposed to be compassionate, this was horrendous to read and I had to stop several times because I was crying, shaking, and just so SADDENED by what I was seeing.
This person has been accused of almost every sin imaginable by people who for the most part don’t know her, have never met her, and have never been to her home. Many of them use vile names and wish sadistic things on her. There wasn’t a single person of the more than 20 people in over 40 posts on this thread that said “Hey, so if this is true, what can we do to help her and her animals move away from this cycle?” Nope, it was “Vile bitch” instead. And that was probably the kindest thing said about her.
This my rescue friends is why people do not ask for help when they need it. Because of this kind of treatment. It makes me ashamed to call myself a rescuer if this is how true rescue people act – that they would go to so much trouble to scour the internet for this woman’s pictures and posts to paint her in such a bad light, and that so many others who claim to be compassionate would just pile on.
I’ve literally just been sick to my stomach reading this stuff over again. I’m not posting the link here, but I do have screenshots. Those screenshots are to remind me about what people are really capable of and I need to not be so trusting because I’m well aware that they will turn on me in a heartbeat and our animals here need me, need me to be healthy and in my right head. To be honest, right now, rescue people like these people SCARE me. And I don’t scare easily.
I made a vow a year ago to become a better person. I’m not perfect, never will be, but one of the goals I set myself is if I didn’t see it, didn’t experience it first hand, report but don’t judge. I’m working hard on that right now considering what I’ve experienced, but I’m reserving judgment. I’m hoping that people come to their senses and start acting like compassionate humans again, instead of a mob with torches and pitchforks looking for a victim.
*I* *DO* *NOT* *CARE* *IF* *SHE* *HAS* *PROBLEMS* *OR* *NOT*. Get that? She is a human, she is in pain, of her own making or not, doesn’t matter. She deserves compassion and help from us just as much as the next person. And I’ve got news for you, that next person is doing things you won’t like too. You just don’t know about them.
Fair warning to everyone though – if someone like that poster finds out your secrets, they could make your life a living hell too. Imagine yourself with a post like that about you – your name cursed, things said about you by people who have never met you wishing you harm. You should remember that when you take up with someone who appears to be looking to raise a mob.
In the time that the people took to make that ugly post and to hunt down all those pictures and internet information, pile on and say all those ugly things about a fellow animal lover, (and I’m convinced she is, having met her and seen her animals,) those same people could have posted, crossposted, researched and helped a hell of a lot of animals sitting in shelters here in South Carolina.
It’s time to stop this kind of “mean girl” crap. This is real life, not high school, and what you’re doing has a name. It’s called cyber bullying and it’s against the law. If you are the kind of person who thinks it’s okay to do this, I hope that one day you do not find yourself in need, and your worst enemy finds out.
Denise
Sorry to hear about the spreading victimization. I agree with the commenter who spoke of how sad it is that some who call themselves rescuers have enough time to beat up on others. As part of a rescue group, I know my free time is spent on the animals. I just don’t comprehend those who feel the need to point and throw rocks – especially in a public forum. Being in rescue takes a lot of self control and pragmatism in addition to compassion. When these attributes are out of balance, animals can become helpless pawns, as do the humans involved when they are unable to cope for whatever reason. I can’t help thinking of my mother saying: “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” This goes double on social media, where complaining and villifying is easy – and helping is not.
I get accused a lot of siding with abusers and it’s because I won’t write against someone without a legit media link or a police blotter report. There are only a few rescues I support and even fewer I write about to help because of all the drama. Some rescues may be bad ones but there’s a lot of cyberbullying going on to the point it’s hard to tell who’s really a rescue and who’s in it for the money and just call themselves a rescue
Our county shelter screens the rescues very well. Their are applications to pull as to foster and adopt. The applications requires both personal veterinary references, and if you are rescue pulling a cat you must submit your adoption applications and protocols.
Oh for the Dear Lord’s sake can you mean attitude people get out of JR High.