Denise Lane Painter posted November 30, 2017
I just don’t know what to think right now or how to react. I’m just a mess. I posted a fundraiser for a foster I met last summer recently and asked if people could help her. This is a foster whose house I visited a few months ago.
When I visited there, the house was neat and clean. There were at least eight dogs of varying sizes running in and out, and a couple of cats, but all appeared to be well cared for. This person had just finished mowing approximately two acres with a push mower in 97-degree heat. Try that yourself some time. She was quite concerned about the cat that I was picking up from here, what rescue it would be going to, if I had ever been there and did I know them? All the kind of questions I would expect from a caring foster.
I’ve heard from this person occasionally over time, usually just a “Hey, how are you?” bump, like a lot of people I interact with over animal rescue. She has never asked me for a single dime or even asked me to share a fundraiser for her. So when I saw a couple of posts the other night where she was obviously crying, and her message suggested that she might be suicidal, I worried about her.
When I eventually got a chance to talk to her, she sounded like a woman on the edge, ready to jump. I got out of her what her problems were and posted a fundraiser in hopes that if nothing else we could alleviate her immediate financial problems.
Today, I was tagged in one of the meanest, nastiest posts I think I’ve ever seen in rescue. For people who are supposed to be compassionate, this was horrendous to read and I had to stop several times because I was crying, shaking, and just so SADDENED by what I was seeing.
This person has been accused of almost every sin imaginable by people who for the most part don’t know her, have never met her, and have never been to her home. Many of them use vile names and wish sadistic things on her. There wasn’t a single person of the more than 20 people in over 40 posts on this thread that said “Hey, so if this is true, what can we do to help her and her animals move away from this cycle?” Nope, it was “Vile bitch” instead. And that was probably the kindest thing said about her.
This my rescue friends is why people do not ask for help when they need it. Because of this kind of treatment. It makes me ashamed to call myself a rescuer if this is how true rescue people act – that they would go to so much trouble to scour the internet for this woman’s pictures and posts to paint her in such a bad light, and that so many others who claim to be compassionate would just pile on.
I’ve literally just been sick to my stomach reading this stuff over again. I’m not posting the link here, but I do have screenshots. Those screenshots are to remind me about what people are really capable of and I need to not be so trusting because I’m well aware that they will turn on me in a heartbeat and our animals here need me, need me to be healthy and in my right head. To be honest, right now, rescue people like these people SCARE me. And I don’t scare easily.
I made a vow a year ago to become a better person. I’m not perfect, never will be, but one of the goals I set myself is if I didn’t see it, didn’t experience it first hand, report but don’t judge. I’m working hard on that right now considering what I’ve experienced, but I’m reserving judgment. I’m hoping that people come to their senses and start acting like compassionate humans again, instead of a mob with torches and pitchforks looking for a victim.
*I* *DO* *NOT* *CARE* *IF* *SHE* *HAS* *PROBLEMS* *OR* *NOT*. Get that? She is a human, she is in pain, of her own making or not, doesn’t matter. She deserves compassion and help from us just as much as the next person. And I’ve got news for you, that next person is doing things you won’t like too. You just don’t know about them.
Fair warning to everyone though – if someone like that poster finds out your secrets, they could make your life a living hell too. Imagine yourself with a post like that about you – your name cursed, things said about you by people who have never met you wishing you harm. You should remember that when you take up with someone who appears to be looking to raise a mob.
In the time that the people took to make that ugly post and to hunt down all those pictures and internet information, pile on and say all those ugly things about a fellow animal lover, (and I’m convinced she is, having met her and seen her animals,) those same people could have posted, crossposted, researched and helped a hell of a lot of animals sitting in shelters here in South Carolina.
It’s time to stop this kind of “mean girl” crap. This is real life, not high school, and what you’re doing has a name. It’s called cyber bullying and it’s against the law. If you are the kind of person who thinks it’s okay to do this, I hope that one day you do not find yourself in need, and your worst enemy finds out.
Denise
Sorry to hear about the spreading victimization. I agree with the commenter who spoke of how sad it is that some who call themselves rescuers have enough time to beat up on others. As part of a rescue group, I know my free time is spent on the animals. I just don’t comprehend those who feel the need to point and throw rocks – especially in a public forum. Being in rescue takes a lot of self control and pragmatism in addition to compassion. When these attributes are out of balance, animals can become helpless pawns, as do the humans involved when they are unable to cope for whatever reason. I can’t help thinking of my mother saying: “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” This goes double on social media, where complaining and villifying is easy – and helping is not.
I get accused a lot of siding with abusers and it’s because I won’t write against someone without a legit media link or a police blotter report. There are only a few rescues I support and even fewer I write about to help because of all the drama. Some rescues may be bad ones but there’s a lot of cyberbullying going on to the point it’s hard to tell who’s really a rescue and who’s in it for the money and just call themselves a rescue
God bless all who help whoever needs help-human or animal. It used to be that everyone who could helped, but now it’s criticize and vilify anyone with a heart who helps. It’s why I have stopped going on Facebook – they do not care to control what is said or done. And yes, it would be a form of not letting people say or do what they want. But somewhere there has to be a spark of human kindness and dignity.
This has become just rediculus. I and the people I volunteer with are here to help find rescues and adopters for animals in kill shelters. How do you CYBER TERRORISTS have time for this bottom feeder tabloid behavior. All the people who I know who work to get animals out of kill shelters have no time to be researching other people’s personal life let alone to join in a lobbiest effort to destroy them on social media. My suggestion to anyone who is being cyber bullied is get a lawyer.
There needs to be an absolute and fair and reasonable scoring sheet for rescues.
No rescue , no matter how sorry you feel for someone can be allowed to keep animals in substandard conditions.
Reasonable conditions must be set so that everyone knows the rules. That would be a set time out if the cat must be crated part of the day and food, water and enrichment with some type of crate safe toy or companion.
One of my bestest friends once said the nicest people do the damnest things.
Another observation is that one human with the best intetions can only provide adequate care to x number of cats.
I have seen the slippery slope to a rescue gone bad twice with horse and helped load and rehome them to places that could provide the care they needed. Neither rescues were evil or thoughtless or intentional. They were simply the reflection of good people cleaning up someone else’s shit. And before they know it they’re little better in care than the person they got the horse from to save it.
Rescue costs money. Lots of it. Many rescues rely on donations. If they don’t get them there isn’t the money to provide continued care.
I see many on FB that don’t rescue until they have the commitment of funds. I paid out of pocket for my rescue horses and never solicited a dime except some cut rate vet care and a farrier that helped out. It is very easy to bury yourself financially when taking in just one more.
Rescues need not only to learn how to support each other and root out the real troublemakers but how to help , mentor and advise someone starting.
I believe a strong mentorship program would do wonders for stopping rescues from becoming issues.
Our county shelter screens the rescues very well. Their are applications to pull as to foster and adopt. The applications requires both personal veterinary references, and if you are rescue pulling a cat you must submit your adoption applications and protocols.
Denise I pray that God gives you the wisdom and ability to see the satanic evil games being played on you. We all have been in your shoes.. For yrs I have watched people give money out to (Moderator note:name removed until verification) to keep her alive. She needs help it’s the same song and dance.. I don’t understand why you would go against animal control and the sheriffs office and say she is fit to have animals. Have you done a vet reference, or called the local police department.. Call and speak to sgt Godwin.. Get facts, watch the videos of her swallowing pills and cutting her wrist. I think you owe it to your readers to be honest.. What about (name removed) victims? The ones who gave money to (name removed) for dogs that was never in her care. Now you are victimizing the victims all over again. What about the rescue that really had the dog and later found out (name removed) stoled pictures and raised money, while the dog sat in need. Why are you hurting so many people? Don’t you have a heart at all. What about me and the pictures she posted saying my husband pimps me and I’m a whore. She didn’t care about my children seeing it. What about the dog poop she put in my mailbox that my autistic son reached in and grabbed. What about the text I sent her begging her to stop calling me at the hospital while I was receiving blood.. Why are you hurting her victims. Can you please stop. Liz Dupay passed away being (name removed) biggest victim. Yet she still gave into (name removed). Please don’t be another Liz.
Just a quick note that I removed the person’s name. Without proof, it could be considered libel and defamation of character. You can share the name on your Facebook wall if you wish. Just not on the article itself.
Ashley, you obviously didn’t read the above, or if you did, you don’t get it. You just did exactly what I was talking about. I could write here what I have heard about you…but that’s the point. I’m not here to tear you down. I haven’t called you nor anyone else out by name, yet when I refused to knuckle down to the bullying you and your friends came after me as well, then lied about ME to boot when I had to block some of you. Why would I or anyone else believe any of you when you go after and attack people when they won’t give in to your bullying of another? It doesn’t matter what she has done, she needs help. What you and your “friends” are doing is not helping. And those same “friends, by the way, are some of the same ones that I heard stuff about YOU from. You should keep that in mind when you join a mob – how quickly they turn on YOU.
*Thank you Elisa for removing names.
Oh for the Dear Lord’s sake can you mean attitude people get out of JR High.