I Need A Cat Companion Again

This typo error waters down my concluding point in my most recent post re: Heidi:

For: “Fact facts, Heidi, before you bring yet more misery on another cat.” Please read “FACE facts, Heidi, before you bring yet more misery on another cat.”

I’m still pretty woozy from medication incident to my recent severe shingles episode. Apologies for needing to post this correction. I thought I had proofread effectively.

Heidi says:

“I had to bury my cat after looking for him and taking him to the vet.”

From this it follows that your cat was alive when you found him. What would be the use of taking a dead cat to the vet? So inquiring minds want to know from what did your cat die?

This entire saga makes ever-less sense the more you add to it. Meanwhile a cat is dead due to lack of custodial care.

Heidi, you keep on insisting that you want your next cat to go everywhere with you. From the cat’s point of view, this is terrible, inducing anxiety and going contrary to the cat’s nature.

Domestic cats living with humans need a stable environment. Constant change makes them anxious and neurotic; and prone to illness and FLUTD. Most domestic companion cats hate travel: they want a known and knowable home, with their favourite and comforting things in knowable and predictable places.

A cat who leaves his/her home to go exploring is an unhappy cat, seeking for a more suitable home. Or it is an intact tom looking to breed. Humans may get attacks of the “wanderlust” and love the exhiliration of changes, but not so domestic companion cats.

Your relationship with your mother, as you have stated it, is a grave cause for concern. Harsh it may seem to say this, but it is true: you will have to choose between your mother, if she is indeed as you have described her–her or the cat. There can be no compromise in such a situation, if it is indeed what you have said it is.

What you continually state that you are seeking in a cat is not at all what such a cat wants for him/her self. Fact facts, Heidi, before you bring yet more misery on another cat.

Heidi if I feel I’ve been unfair I will say so and apologise. I’m sorry if you feel we’ve been mean but Ruth is right we put cats first and foremost.

Your comment makes much more sense now and I can fully appreciate you must be heart broken however sometimes without all the facts people can get the wrong idea.

I’m so sorry about your Skeeter I can’t imagine how it must have been for you burying him.

I do hope you find what you’re looking for but please please don’t let history repeat itself.

Heidi, no one was being mean but as you came to a site where we love cats and put their welfare and happiness first, we naturally looked at it from a cat’s point of view.

You made it sound all about what you wanted and what you wanted a kitten to do, nothing about what a kitten might want.

It also sounded as if you might need your mother around again because of your illness and I hate the thought of her causing another cat to be turned out.

I’m sorry for you, especially as you found and buried Skeeter, it must have been heart breaking for you. Think how you would feel if you got another cat and the same thing happened.

If you can guarantee it won’t happen again and you know that you can afford to keep a cat as one needs to be, then the best idea is to go to a Rescue Centre and give one a home, but for his sake, not expecting him to be as you want him to be, just to love him as he is.

Take care.

Iam so hurt at the comments made about me. Iam 45. I had to bury my cat after looking for him and taking him to the vet. I cant believe someone would accually think that I would not look for my love. The only reason I was interested in a small cat was so I could take him with me whenever I went. I did not go into explaining the whole story because it hurts so bad and I relive it everyday. Some days are worse than others but I know I will see him again. I did not even know that small cats existed until I started looking on line. And yes every animal is special and has their own personality. It is up to the individual how much time and effort they put into the animal to have an owesome relationship and what kind of a relationship the two of them will have. One thing me and Skeeter did not to question was if we loved one another!!

MS England: Of course I agree your comments to Heidi. I put the case rather more firmly, and do not fancy that you need to apologise for trying to take Heidi in hand.

Just how old is Heidi? I imagined that she was an adolescent or young adult person. I also fancied that her chronological age and her maturity age were incongruent.

I do not think that Heidi is presently, if ever, a suitable candidate for bringing another cat, let alone a kitten, into her life. Many shelters nowadays vet prospective adopters. I agree this, although it really irks some.

When Michael, in his frustrated anger, opined that the Internet should be ‘regulated’, I jumped on him. In light of this issue with Heidi and others of her ilk, I am even more than hithertofore of the opinion that cat adoptions ought to be regulated as to suitability of prospective adopters. This is not hypocrisy on my part, inasmuch as the free market of ideas is altogether different to dealing directly in lives.

I have lived both in Europe, not least in the UK, but also in the USA, and I wince at your strong jibe against Americans and their ways with cat companion animals. Most generalisations fail, and in my experience, there are many people in the USA who keep cats who would meet with your approval. The USA is a pretty crazy place, home to many solipsists, yes, but just look at what has become of my beloved England.

I’m so sorry you lost Skeeter but your article doesn’t state whether you looked for him, if he was micro-chipped, if you put notices up, checked local shelters? It appears from your words that when Skeeter was put out that was the end of it!

If I were you I would cut all ties completely with your mother before you get another cat otherwise what’s stopping her from doing it again?!

There are a number of concerns I have about your article;

You want a tiny kitten, one that’s special well don’t you feel that all kittens are special because I certainly do!! A cats personality is what you make it! When you say you want a tiny kitten just how tiny are you talking? because getting a kitten only just weaned at 4/5 weeks is just cruel! All cat societies in the UK state 7/8 weeks.

You say you want the kitten to be harnessed, ride in the car and on your shoulder but Ruth is right what about what the kitten wants? Here in the UK we don’t have this insatiable need to make cats do ridiculous things that they don’t want!. Cats aren’t dogs; its not natural behaviour for a cat to want to ride in a car. I wouldn’t dream of putting my cat through that trauma except to go to the vets! I’d be absolutely terrified the cat would get spooked and run off!

Heidi there just seems to be too much ‘I want’ and not enough about what you will do to keep this kitten safe, loved and about how YOU will enrich his life!

I’m sorry for your medical issues however I really feel you should try to get yourself into a better place before you get another cat.

I sound really harsh I know I do however the mentality of a lot of Americans I hear echoed in your article and its all ‘I want this from the cat’ and ‘I want it to do this that and the other’ I would for once love to hear ‘I just wan’t my cat to be happy just being a cat’

I agree with Barbara and Grahame ! You must put any kitten’s welfare before your own longing for another cat.

I’m so sorry your mother turned Skeeter out, I hope you tried to find him by contacting local vets and Rescue Shelters and by asking around and putting up posters. He could still be out there hungry and sad even months later.

You are right you can not put a price on love and affection but the cost of feeding a cat, along with necessary innoculations, neutering, regular worm and flea prevention and other vet bills, as well as scratching posts and toys a kitten needs, can be very expensive.

If you can’t pay for these then it would be very selfish in these hard times to ask others to pay for them for you.

You say you want the kitten to bond with you and walk on a harness and sit on your shoulder but the kitten many not want to do those things.

If you truly love and care about cats please think long and hard about any kitten’s welfare before your own need.

Heidi, I know what it is to lose a close feline companion. And I know what it can be to suffer from clinical depression. But it is unfair to put all of your many burdens on a little kitten. I urge you to discuss this situation with your therapist(s). They will be in a decent position to help and to advise you with your cat decision(s) and with your other difficulties.

It seems pretty much assured that you are not in a position to jetttison your mother. According to what you have written to POC, she will be a danger to any cat you bring into your life. This is definitely a situation you MUST discuss with your therapist(s).

I sincerely hope that you can resolve this/these situation/situations and find a way forward. A domestic cat is not here for you so much as you are there for it and there is no hiatus, no time off from your responsibilities to it. Try to see this also from the cat’s point of view: it needs and deserves a situation where it is not burdened with all of the many problems of its owner. I know what a comfort a cat can be, and I know that some cats make good “therapy cats”, but these cats must be in stable circumstances, and at present yours is not a stable situation.

I am not an old meanie, but I am concerned for the welfare of companion animals. I receive emotional support from my cats, but I am in a position to be very supportive of them 24/7.

Heidi, I’m sorry you lost your Skeeter, and sympathise with your longing for a kitten. But you know cats do cost a lot of money to care for properly and you can’t rely on someone else to come up with the money for upkeep and veterinary expenses for the hopefully long life of another cat. I think you should slow down and take a long hard look at your finances and work out if you can actually afford to have a cat or not,if so then perhaps a kitten from a rescue centre would be affordable to you. But also give a lot of thought as to whether a new cat would be any safer than Skeeter was or if your mother would also be jealous of this cat.

Blessings. So sorry to hear of your loss. I hope your void will be filled with the perfect friend for you very soon. x

I’ll respond fully in about a day. Thanks for visiting and sharing.

Best

Michael