My cat is a lot like yours. As a kitten he was super snuggly, but he seemed to outgrow that. He tolerates a little petting and hugging, and will even purr like he’s got a V-8 engine in his chest– while at the same time struggling to get away. He’s a busy cat with things to do. This makes brushing him difficult. He likes it but it takes too long. He doesn’t like his claws trimmed, plus it takes too long! Treats smooth things over. But he seldom snuggles, likes much petting or sleeps on me. He likes to be petted with your foot though. He will roll on the floor purring and chirping with pleasure while my husband and I hold onto the doorframe and stroke him with our feet. He likes petting with the sweaty, stinky, I just took my shoe off after work foot the best. It’s all about scent exchange, I guess. He likes the sides of his face rubbed, and I guess cats have scent glands there. You could try foot petting and see if your cat responds favorably. It could partly be about finding out what he likes. But if, like Monty, he’s just a busy cat with things to do, then you have to love him for who he is, not what you’d want him to be. I figure it’s not about my preferences. It’s about giving a little stray cat a happy life.

Hi Sandra, my advice would be not to try too hard to make your cat a snugly one.

With some cats the harder you try, the more they resist.

Try not to just tolerate him, try to love him for what he is, talk to him softly as much as you can, sing to him, play with him but don’t try to touch him at all.

I think eventually you might find him creeping up to your lap one day when you are alone together.

It’s good he loves your son and he may be protective of him, you should be proud of your boy as he obviously knows to treat a cat gently and kindly.

If your cat does seem as if he will attack you, don’t react, just silently throw a cat toy to distract his attention and when he chases it praise him using his name.

With time and patience and understanding I think things will improve.

It’s not uncommon for a cat’s personality to change in a new environment. I’ve seen aggressive cats turn into smoochers when they’ve been adopted into the right home. Your cat probably is snuggly, but, as much as I hate to say it, just not to you. My cat loves a good cuddle every now and then, but he won’t climb up on my lap for a cuddle every time I sit down. But if someone comes to the house for a visit, like a family member or friend, he’s all over them, and becomes a total smoochy lap cat.

Your cat can probably sense your attitude, too. If you had a ‘I’ll tolerate you, but that’s it!’ attitude towards your son, of course he would resent you! Cats are exactly the same, and while you may not notice, he knows exactly how you feel about him. Don’t be surprised if a negative attitude results in him becoming aggressive towards you. Cats can’t rationalise like humans can, if he senses that you’re feeling negatively towards him, he’ll become tense and defensive around you.

Treat him like you would your son. Love him to bits even though he’s not what you consider perfect. Play with him, talk to him, feel positive towards him, and he’ll begin to feel positive towards you, too! He might not become the snuggly cat you wanted, but over time he may just let you give him a pat or cuddle.

Hi Sandra.. when I first your story I thought your cat might be poorly socialised. That would have been bad luck.

But it seems that he has a character that is not particularly fond of being picked up and petted etc. Some cats are like that.

We like to touch and pet our cats but that does not automatically mean they like it.

Another factor as you say is that he has a preference for your son. That’s not uncommon either – a cat preferring a certain person. They do have preferences in other cats and people.

I don’t know how long you have had him. It seems not long. If that is the case he’ll settle down and open up more.

Thanks for posting.