Is it okay to grieve on the loss of your cat companion? I am surprised that the question has been asked but Google found it and I’m going to answer in a way that millions of other people would answer it. It is entirely okay and entirely normal for a person to grieve on the passing of their cat companion. Or any other animal companion. In millions of homes a domestic cat is the only and most important companion of an individual. If they did not grieve on the passing of their cat, it would be very odd. It would be illogical.
In fact, I will go a step further. If a cat caregiver does not grieve on the passing of their cat companion, I think that it would be fair to state that the relationship between person and cat was never a good one. It wasn’t strong enough. And when the relationship isn’t sound there is little point in having a domestic cat. This is meant to be a mutually beneficial relationship which brings companionship and entertainment to the person and safety, security, food, love and warmth both emotional and physical to the cat companion. That is the relationship that we expect and is par for the course. In that relationship there will be grieving and it is fair to suggest that this applies to both parties.
What I’m saying is that a cat will likely grieve on the passing of their human caregiver when they pass. It depends, as stated, on the depth of the relationship but cats and dogs will miss their owner. The subject of grieving animals is a complicated one and it is work in progress but the signs are that they grieve and have the emotional capacity to do so.
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Dr. Bruce Fogle DVM makes a nice comment about grieving on the passing of cat in his book Complete Cat Care. I will quote him: “The intensity of loss can catch us out. A few weeks after one of my pets died, talking to Japanese vets about pet loss, I choked up and couldn’t speak for over a minute. I felt like a fool. He should not have and he knows it. He admits that grief can be uncontrollable sometimes. The emotion just comes out.
And it’s a good thing. Grief doesn’t follow any pattern but most people will have a range of feelings such as despair, yearning, numbness and then over time a gradual acceptance and finally resolution says Dr. Bruce Fogle.
And there is another element to this. Often elderly domestic cats are chronically ill for quite a long time before they pass when euthanized by a veterinarian. There is a long buildup to their death during which their caregiver agonises over when to euthanise. It is almost ‘pre-grieving’ because at this time, their cat companion is gradually being lost to them. And the moment of euthanasia is very painful.
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I don’t know about anybody else but when my first cat companion was killed in an accident on the road, it took me upwards of about 20 years to get over it. That might sound ridiculous to many people but it is a simple fact. Grieving eventually resolves itself but there is no “magic pill that can remove the pain completely” according to Dr. Fogle. Agreed.
But cat owners should certainly not be tough on themselves. They should simply feel what they feel and there is certainly nothing to be ashamed of. As I said at the beginning it’s normal and to be expected if the relationship was a proper and good one.
Below are some articles on emotions.
Unfortunately, it is such a frequent case when you need to cope with the loss of your pet and it is a very difficult task because he becomes a family member. I think that it is really important to give yourself time and opportunity to deeply feel all emotions because it will help you let the pain go to some extent. For me, the most important thing is not to suppress your feelings because it is a real path to nowhere and it will just intensify them. Of course, there is never “magic pill that can remove the pain completely” because only time can heal the wounds and help you make peace with this bereavement. At this period, it is really important to be kind to yourself and try to accept all your range of emotions. You will never need to be ashamed of your own feelings because you can’t control this thing and we all are people, we are not robots.
It is totally unthinkable that one would not grieve for a pet. As a matter of fact, my most recent cat family all grew up together and were the same age. Two from one litter and a Sphynx who all thought they were a threesome. My Sphynx died recently and we are all clinging to each other to salve the loss. Unfortunately the two humans have COVID and we all can’t be together at the moment. Quite a sad state of events.
Thanks RM. It sounds tough. Of course, you are right: it is unthinkable not to grieve on the passing of your cat companion. Good luck. It is sad to hear your story.