My cat likes to have sex with my left arm. I allow it.

Yes, my cat likes to have sex with my left arm. You can see it in the video. I think it’s normal. I accept it completely. I want him to express his natural desires. It does no harm when he does it (except to gradually destroy my dressing gown) and I presume it satisfies him to a certain extent.

I don’t know whether anybody else has experienced this. Cats bite the nape of the neck of the female to keep her from fighting back. This is what you see in the photos.

Update: 2022: He is still doing it almost 8 years later! Every day when I wear this old dressing gown which is now thoroughly trashed ??. So winter is the time for this ritual.


Despite being neutered my cat has retained his sexual urges and his desire to procreate. He is frustrated in expressing that desire because of a lack of available female cats. He relates to me as his surrogate mother and a feline mother. When he has sex on my arm, in his mind he is having sex with his mother. This happens in the cat world.

It is a combination event. He also kneads and purrs. The kneading is a kitten response and replicates a kitten kneading at his mother’s breast to bring on the milk. He’s a bit mixed up? A lot of domestic cats are a little confused because they have wildcat instincts but live in a human environment. This creates distortions to their behavior.

The fleece dressing gown is important I believe because it feels like a cat. I have two dressing gowns and the other one does not elicit this reaction.

You can see his sex-drive in the eyes in this photo:

Gabriel having sex with my arm AGAIN!

Two useful tags. Click either to see the articles: Toxic to cats | Dangers to cats

I think it’s important that a cat can express his natural desires and emotions as best as possible. Sometimes we have to compromise for the sake of safety and curtail these drives. Do you think I’m crazy to let him do this?

My cat having sex with my left arm

He does it while I am watching television sometimes, I just let him do it. Or when I read the newspaper. He’ll do for about 10-15 minutes, in all, which is quite a long time. At first, I stopped him but then I thought it was unfair. It doesn’t bother me. Somebody might think it’s a bit gross. Some people may think I’m wrong to allow it. As I said, I have to be wearing my fleece dressing gown which I presume feels like fur to him! He won’t do it when I am wearing other clothing.

I expect he will stop when he’s neutered (it did not change a thing by the way). He’s never sprayed anywhere (wrong: he sprays outside). He is generally a very well-behaved young cat but being young is a bit manic, driven by his instincts.

At the moment (2015) he goes out on a leash. He accepts his harness completely and likes it now. He knows that when it is put on him, he is going to go out. I’ve trained him to come to me so when he does go out alone, I am hopeful that I can call him back if I’m worried about his whereabouts.

The reason why he goes out on a leash at the moment is because I want him to become familiar with his surroundings. I wanted him to know where the door to his home is. If there is trouble, he can then race back and hide. After all, he is very young. And, of course, I would not let him free roam before being neutered. Update: I have moved home since, and he now free roams but it sensible thank God. Also being young he is liable to be stupid and do things which are dangerous to him due to inexperience.

RELATED: My cat joins me on my walk to buy the newspaper at 06:30 (video)!

I’m trying to make is life as good as possible while also making it as safe as possible. After moving home to a house he is now confined to a garden enclosure and the house.

Below are some articles on so called ‘strange cat behavior’.

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Why do cats seem to like uncomfortable positions?

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Why are cats creepy sometimes?

Why are cats so creepy sometimes?

You see the question in the title from time to time on the Internet. Obviously, some people think domestic cats ...
Cat humps family dog or tries to!

Picture of a cat trying to mate with the family dog is priceless

I love the photo although I doubt whether the owners of this cat and dog are as delighted. Or perhaps ...
Infographic on 'strange cat behaviour'

Infographic on ‘strange cat behavior’

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Ticklish cats!

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Please search using the search box at the top of the site. You are bound to find what you are looking for.

Useful tag. Click to see the articles: Cat behavior

51 thoughts on “My cat likes to have sex with my left arm. I allow it.”

  1. OMG – I am not alone!

    Thank you everyone for this, I felt really creeped out.

    I have a 2 year old Tuxedo neutered male. He’s been trying to hump my arm for the past year. He starts with a meow and a lock bite to my arm or foot or leg, then he’ll slowly try and hump slide his way out.

    I tell him off and bless him he try’s to fight back. Then he goes and sits alone and for what I can call ‘finishes himself off’ ? ?

    I will never allow him to do that to me. I’m his dad and his best mate and everything in life needs boundaries

    1. Each to their own I say. From his perspective it is natural, and he gets pleasure from it. What harm in allowing it? The rule that you have in stopping it is about your feelings and how your cat’s behaviour affects you. The first duty of cat caregivers is to make their cat as happy as possible, and you do that by allowing a cat to express natural desires if at all possible. I just don’t see a problem.

  2. Hello My neutered male cat 10 years old do the same thing. It has been almost for 3 years. Do you think they might get bacteria or infection while doing it? Thank you

  3. My 8 year old snow shoe cat does this and I don’t like it. If it were just the humping it wouldn’t be so bad, but.. If he is allowed to continue he will actually ejaculate. Does yours “finish?”? His big thing is anything fuzzy like blankets, but now sometimes tries to have sex with the dogs.

    He never did this until someone got my a fuzzy blanket for Christmas a few years ago. We went to sleep as usual, only this time with the blanket, and he has been sexually aggressive ever since.

    I don’t really agree with fixing animals or locking them away, but I would not risk surgery for him anyway because he has a heart murmur and ic which causes bladder inflammation.

    1. My cat is neutered so can’t produce sperm. Your cat isn’t. On a practical level it makes a difference 😉 If our cats have to hump arms at least it is not messy for me! It is more likely for a cat to want to have sex if they are not neutered, I believe, but my boy wants to do it. It is only when I wear a specific dressing gown.

  4. I’m so glad I’ve found other people this happens to. I have a gray tabby as well, and since I can remember, he’s always “had his way” with my right shoulder. I have to be careful to properly bundle up the area though or it will look like I’ve been stabbed repeatedly with very tiny knives. He’s 14 now, and STILL does it. I don’t want to stop him because he does it so often and will purr in my ear while doing his thing. But I do wonder if this relates to his separation anxiety. There are two people in this apartment and no matter who leaves he cries and walks around checking every room until he lands on the remaining human. Then he has his way and when done, falls asleep on our lap. I think the other cat gets jealous because when he’s elsewhere she comes right up to my face and lays on me. No nursing, she just wants attention and seems unsure of how the other cat gets away with it so often. I’m starting to see why non-animal people think we’re crazy. Thank you for posting the video, I feel so much better now.

    1. Oh I should have read some more of the replies. My cat was actually neutered quite early on, right before 6 months. Is this a sign of something serious?

    2. I don’t think this behavior is linked to separation anxiety. I believe it is because he regards you as his mother (cat mother) and he wants to procreate by mating with his mother. I know it is incestuous but cats can do this. To me it is a reflection of your close relationship with him. And I am pleased you accept it as I do. It is just cat behavior and I’ll bet it happens quite a lot but most people don’t talk about it 🙂 Thanks for sharing.

  5. My cat is a two and a half years old black male, he has been neutered when he was six months. He started having sex with my legs about a year ago. I also allow him to do it. He is a sexual being and I allow him to express it. 🙂

    1. I have the same reason. It is natural for him to want to do it. Why stop natural behaviour and desires? To express natural desires helps to keep a cat happy. Thanks for sharing Ashka.

  6. My sister woke up to the cat humping her arm or leg a few times. He was neutered, 7 years old, pretty friendly, average sized. I actually felt kinda bad for her because she froze up and didn’t quite know what to do. She was too scared to make him stop, so she started sleeping with her door closed. The cat eventually started sleeping with the dog (a female pit bull). We’d catch them grooming each other, or the cat really going at it while the dog just laid there. Probably the most bizarre cat behavior I’ve ever seen.

    1. Gabriel is still doing it and a lot. I let him do it so he can release his natural desires. I don’t see it as a problem or weird. I see it more as natural. Which it must be actually. This is what male cat are hard-wired to do.

      1. I don’t think it’s weird or problematic at all. We laugh about it now. I should have added we were about 8 and 6 years old at the time and didn’t really know what it was going on at first. My dad was red-faced trying to explain that the cat wasn’t trying to bite or harm. Poor dad wasn’t ready for the “birds & bees talk” with his girls yet! Then poor mom had to fix all the nonsense he tried to tell us. Keep in mind, many people can be really weird about sexuality in the U.S.

        The cat-dog relations were an odd sight though. I won’t be descriptive, but it was rather scandalous to my 6 year old self. I figure if that is the most “bizarre” cat behavior I’ve seen, then I can count myself lucky.

        1. Keep in mind, many people can be really weird about sexuality in the U.S.

          I think this still applies in many countries today which is why some people might find this article unpleasant. For me it is an interesting slice of feline behavior.

          Because he is kneading me at the same time he is starting to hurt my arm so I may have to stop him or wear protective clothing!

          The fact that he is kneading me indicates he is mixed up about whether I am his mom or his girlfriend 😉

  7. Just bear in mind that if this behaviour remains after neutering, that it might not be quite so much fun when he’s fully grown or you have visitors 😉

    1. I wonder if that’s why neutering at a very young age is so popular here. Maybe, it has to do with avoiding that memorable urge, ie. if they never had it, it doesn’t exist.
      What do you think.

      1. Ruth aka Kattaddorra

        I was thinking that too Dee, like the saying ‘What you’ve never had you never miss’
        But Gabriel sounds oversexed to me, we’ve never had any sex maniac male kittens lol

        1. LOL!
          And, 10 times a day!
          Good grief. He has no time to even breath.
          He could be a star in a porno flick.
          He needs clipping NOW!!!

            1. No, R.
              I think it’s pretty much the same.
              If anything, some may mature or show it later simply because survival is foremost.

          1. I hope Micheal’s gown is very soft, otherwise the poor cat must be getting pretty sore by now! Try explaining this one to the vet.

            1. Alan, that is a very good point indeed! My dressing gown is very soft. My arm is getting sore (because he kneads me at the same time) and so is his willy (not really. It looks normal to me)! I’ll try and say this delicately. Nothing is produced except for a scent.

              1. Ruth aka Kattaddorra

                Seriously Michael, I hope he doesn’t overdo it and make his penis sore, I saw a cat once at the vets and his had got stuck out of the sheath and he had to be anaesthetised to get it back in, he was castrated at the same time. I think if I was you, if his testicles are large enough I’d get him off to the vets, the longer he is left the harder it will be for him to adjust. He should be having fun playing kitten games instead. It takes a while after the op for the male hormones to settle down anyway.

              2. After 14 years living with 2 male cats, I consider myself fortunate that I never once saw a cats willy. I wouldn’t know one if it poked me in the eye.

  8. Thank God my cat is female! It may be “normal” for him to do it…but I’m not sure it’s normal for you to allow it! It’s like sitting there while your dog humps your leg…urrgg.

      1. Hopefully you will get some relief (and he won’t) after he is neutered, but if not I have to ask…what form is the “training” going to take? For the benefit of others with a sexy left arm?

  9. Barb from the cats of North Hills

    Woo hooo, just look at those “bedroom eyes” . Bastet the goddess of cats would be more then pleased with the “lil Bugger’s high sex drive. Look out all you female felines in the area. Big Daddy is in the house! meow, purrrrfect

  10. Well I’ve never seen that before, he’s a right little raver!! You’re right, he’s doing no harm and I expect he will forget about it once he’s neutered, I hope so for your sake anyway.

  11. Diane Ricciardi Stewart

    I actually think it’s kinda funny!! I’ve never actually seen a cat behave in this manner with a human — and I’ve had lots of cats!! All my cats are spayed/neutered, but I still have a few of the boys who still get “the urge” and they will try to mount one of the other cats. Personally, I don’t see a problem with it as it is a natural instinct and one would hate to hinder that. I don’t know if neutering will stop it completely, but at least he is actually doing no harm. Bless his heart — little sexpot — MOL!! ♥♥♥

      1. Diane Ricciardi Stewart

        MOL!!! Hopefully, it will st least subside after neutering. At least my boys who still have the “urge” just bother each other. . . It’s rather funny. . . ♥

        1. Diane Ricciardi Stewart

          and Yes. . . you should feel very honored. . . when a cat chooses you — for whatever reason. . . it’s special. . . ♥♥♥

          1. Diane Ricciardi Stewart

            oh dear!!! My boys aren’t that bad!! That is interesting!! maybe you need to find a diversion for him. . .I don’t know what will work, but it’s a thought. . . ♥♥♥

      2. Ruth aka Kattaddorra

        lol Gabriel is ‘batting for the other team’ as we say up here, as you are no female Michael lol
        As long as he doesn’t overdo it and turn into a satyriasist before he is neutered 😉

    1. Michael Smorenburg

      My cat does this to me several times a day… He’s a very gentle boy and he does no harm. I think it’s when he gets hungry and he’s telling me he’s prepared to do “anything” for food.
      The only way to get him to stop is if I tickle the very tips of his fur anywhere on his body – he goes crazy; his fur ‘climbs’ all over in big waves and he chews like crazy at the tickled spot.
      It’s become almost a game where i just point at the spot I’m intending to tickle and he goes nuts.

      1. loved your comment about tickling your cat. I have never heard of this before. It interests me. Do you gently brush the fur against the grain?

        1. Michael Smorenburg

          Morning Michael
          Oh… it’s one of my favourite teases with any cat… I very ligthly and rapidly tap my index finger to my thumb right at the tip of the hairs…. so it almost looks like i’m slightly pulling on the hair, but it’s unnecessary… something in the act of tapping the fingers and touching only a hair or two (that is the trick… touch very very few hairs) just sends them nuts. Their whole skin crawls over their frame.
          When my boy is in the height of human love; he is near the edge of sanity anyway.

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