My Mysterious Illness, by Walter

By Walter (with the help of Ruth aka Kattaddorra)

I love my food but the other day I couldn’t fancy even a bite. The mammies (Babz and Ruth) got worried and said if I didn’t eat I’d have to go to the vets. I don’t drink water, I’m teetotal you see, they said I would get dehydrated but I wouldn’t touch a drop. They opened sachet after tray after sachet of cat food and even cooked chicken, but I didn’t feel interested.

So off we went to the vets and it was Sarah who is very nice but our Jozef and me hate all the vets because they touch all over our bodies and stick needles in us. But I must say I was glad to go this time really because I didn’t feel well and they usually make us better.

But Sarah couldn’t find anything wrong anywhere on my body and boy did she have a good look and feel of every inch of me. She is nice and strokes cats and talks to us but she got her temperature stick which goes up cats bottoms and the mammies said no he has a thermometer in his microchip. So I was spared that indignity and she said my temperature was normal and it was a mystery that she couldn’t find any cause why I wouldn’t eat. She said ‘Stop purring a minute Walter while I check your heart’ but I wouldn’t and she put something smelly by my nose to stop me, it was horrible.

So she stuck needles in which she said were antibiotics and steroids and said come back tomorrow if you are not better and I will take some blood. I ate a little bit that night and the mammies said steroids do that to you but the next day I didn’t want to eat and the mammies were worried sick. So we went again and Sarah clipped some fur from my neck and got some blood.

I was very good she said and then we had to sit in the waiting room for a long time to wait for the results. A cat called Roxy came in to see another vet, her mammie looked at me in my basket and said how handsome I am. Then a dog called Rodney came and he cocked his leg to wee on the display of pet toys, how rude!

Then a man came with a covered over box and he had gauntlets on and we thought ‘Who ever is in there?’ and it turned out to be a hedgehog with a poorly eye who was out in the daytime and should only come out at night. Then a man with a big bag came and it had a wild bird in that was hurt and the receptionist took it and the hedgehog both away cos the practice looks after wild animals and birds until they feel better. If I’d been feeling well I could have looked after that bird for them 😉 .

Anyway we went back in to see Sarah for my results and she said there was nothing wrong with all my bits inside, only my white blood cells said I had an infection of some kind but they couldn’t say what. So I had more injections and some pills to bring home which I am being good and taking. I’m much better at taking pills than our Jozef is, he is quite wild when he has to have any.

The mammies were very relieved cos they confessed to each other after that Babz was worried about kidneys and Ruth was worried about thyroids, whatever they are, anyway mine are very healthy and my heart and lungs and all. I was glad to get home and today I am back to normal and eating and being spoilt, the mammies say I deserve it because they are so glad I am better.

I look funny with a baldy spot in my bib and Babz said ‘can I take a photo of it Walter for PoC?’ I said ‘No way hosay’

Our Jozef wanted to see it but he never showed me his when he got blood taken last time, so why should I let him see mine. He had a hair ball yesterday and didn’t eat much but the vet said she doesn’t think he will catch whatever I’ve got but the mammies have to take him to see her if he doesn’t eat properly. He had a mystery allergy last year and had to have steroids but he’s weaned off them now and only sometimes sneezes after he has washed himself.

The mammies say we are an awkward pair to have mystery illnesses but the main thing is we get better thanks to the nice lady vets we see although I still do hate them all.

Walter (with the help of Ruth aka Kattaddorra)