Poster by Ruth aka Kattaddorra

This is another poster and article inspired by Dee who wrote: We need an ‘I am a troll and cat hater box’.

Yes I agree Dee we do, just for Woody and then we can shove him in that box, close it and post him off to the Bermuda Triangle.

We would be doing him a favour really, because then he wouldn’t have to spend his days online looking for articles by cat lovers to troll and vent his hatred on.

I don’t think there would be any internet connection in the Bermuda Triangle, but anyway the good thing would be that we would never have to read his abusive, sometimes downright insulting rubbish, ever again.

We all have our own soapboxes, I personally have quite a few because I hate cruelty to animals and I hate injustice too, although my main animal one at present is the legalised cruelty to cats, called declawing.

But even if we didn’t particularly like cats (although who could NOT like them) would we ever search for a web site to rant our biased opinion of them on? I think not! What is the mentality of someone who does? Do they enjoy being scorned and mocked and disliked? Do they wish they could stop trolling? Is it a mental illness?

Apparently most trolls are immature, inadequate attention seekers who don’t care that they offend other people and the best way to deal with them is to totally ignore them. They don’t want to come face to face with anyone, they are afraid of real life confrontation, so the internet is a Godsend to them.

What did they do before that? Did trolls arrive with the onset of the internet? I remember from my childhood the story of The Three Billy Goats Gruff, they outsmarted the troll who sang:

‘I’m a troll fol de rol, I’m a troll fol de rol, I’m a troll fol de rol and I will eat you for my supper’

In that story the troll was an ugly cave dwelling creature with an enormous head who tried to get the better of the Billy Goat Gruffs, but they defeated him in the end. They were much smarter than he was.

It isn’t very smart at all to be a troll and in a way I pity Woody if it’s the only way he can make himself feel important, but I also despise him for the cruelty to cats he boasts of. Whether he really does shoot cats and want all cats dead, or not, the evil thoughts are within him.

How can anyone live a healthy happy life when they are poisoning themselves from the inside out with their hatred of innocent animals and their caretakers?

Ruth aka Kattaddorra

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Michael Broad

Hi, I'm a 71-year-old retired solicitor (attorney in the US). Before qualifying I worked in many jobs including professional photography. I have a girlfriend, Michelle. I love nature, cats and all animals. I am concerned about their welfare.

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  • I love Woody too! He validates every lesson I try to drum into cat owners heads about the dangers of a cat being outside unsupervised. It's not only traffic and wild animals people have to look out for. There are people like Woody who would as soon kill a cat as look at it.

    I've been accused of making outdoor cat owners paranoid and asked what evidence I have to back up my claim. Woody is my backup. Thank you Woody! No telling how many cats you've saved just by you being you and me being me and writing about the little termite infected creature.

    • Elisa, how bad is it in America? I'll rephrase that, how many men are there out there with guns who want to shoot stray cats? Is it a recognisable problem to be taken into account or is it a fairly rare hazard that a cat owner can pretty well ignore? Perhaps it depends on where you live. I suspect that that is the case. I would imagine that in the deep South, for example, there are more shooters and perhaps in places like Texas whereas is up north, the north-east, I would expect there to be less cat shooters but I'm probably painting a stereotypical picture and an untrue one.

      • The bigger problem is the humane trappers who take cages full of cats to the shelter and act like they should be rewarded. I think a lot of cats go missing from these traps or being shot or hit by cars or killed by animals and the family never knows what happened.

    • It must be horrible living where it's dangerous for cats to have their freedom, for them to be deprived of a fulfilled life by circumstances is bad enough, but to have people like Woody, with a gun to shoot them, is just beyond any horror.
      I just hope England never gets as bad, so far we still have cat friendly places thank goodness.

      • That's why we have the house set up for the cats. They have cat trees and beds and window perches and toys. It was either save them and allow them an indoor life or they'd have been euthanized at the shelter. Very few places are safe for cats here. I'd be a nervous wreck with an outdoor cat. The cats are so close to each other. Most have a favorite buddy they sleep with

        • Yes you have the ideal set up to fulfil their lives Elisa and that's lovely :) and I wish everyone did

          • Woody has commented. I just thought I had better let you know. I deleted the comments because there's nothing more frustrating for a troll than to be unheard.

          • ps there MUST be internet connection in the Bermuda Triangle then after all lol lol

          • I would have been surprised if he hadn't commented lol Good idea to delete him, he will hate it that only you have read his rantings, good one Michael ;)



    Woody, Woody, Pee Pee Woody
    We felt you somewhere near
    Our ears were perked, our nasals flared
    We could almost feel your fear

    You were such a hurtful troll
    You never showed remorse.
    So someone took the needed steps
    And, sent you way off course.

    You thought that you could hide away
    Inside your little box
    But, being found you trembled so
    And peed way to your sox.

    Your box became your new best home
    And chained up nice and tight
    One itty bitty hole was drilled
    So you'd survive your flight.

    We have no clue to where you are
    It could be anywhere
    You must be where all trolls must go
    But I don't give a care

    • lol oh stop it Dee, my insides just ache with laughing, what a wonderful poem, a troll with his very own poem must be a first lol lol

  • Sarah on the floor laughing!

    Ruth, what a fabulous poster!

    Trolls are truly disgusting. I try to ignore them but sometimes I just want to slap them upside the head.

    Thankfully there are enough readers that generally wipe up the floor with them... but then again the troll is getting the attention that is certainly not deserved.

  • He he he that's great sis, and it puts Woody nicely into perspective as a laughing stock, shame about the cost of postage to the Bermuda Triangle. Maybe he could retrain as a garden gnome.

  • I would like to share with you P D Rieden's recipe for Devilled Troll (Peter Rieden was a former colleague) in response to a particularly persistent specimen plagued a usenet group:

    "The problem with devilling trolls is that cleaning them is a waste of time, since the contents of the digestive track are 98% percent by weight. They are instead used as table ornaments. Since they are 80% hot air by volume they tend to deflate when they are exposed to reality, so they need to be expanded. You insert the Pineapple Crowns into all convenient openings and allow the crown leaves to expand inside. Voila a Martha Stewart original."

  • i just dont listen to what he/she says as it just draws attention. As well i really cant be bothered wasting my breath and energy on someone who got nothing better to do.

  • I know how much Dee loves Woody Pee Pee lol and I must admit I thoroughly enjoyed designing this poster ;) inspired by her comment

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