Walter and Jozef Rule

By Walter

We are the longest feline residents of our street, having lived here for over twelve years now and we rule. Me, Walter, as top cat really with our Jozef as my ‘co pilot’. I can’t leave him in charge on his own because he’s too laid back, so it’s a full time job for me.

Walter a black and white cat in the UK tells us what he does
Poster by Ruth aka Kattaddorra

Narla who lives a few doors away has been here almost as long as us and she’s out long hours and her dad knows she gets something to eat on our wall. We used to chase her straight away but she’s quite an old lady now so we let her have her dinner first, then chase her. Our wall is a busy café because the mammies can’t see any cat going hungry. I think our Jozef and me are very kind to let them have the food we leave.

When everyone has had what they want, Jim Crow comes to clean the bits up, we have never seen such a big bird, he sits on the roof and shouts CAW CAW. One day he flew right near to me and I said,

‘Don’t worry Jim I wouldn’t catch you but our Jozef might cos he can catch rabbits’

I don’t know how he carries them home, I wouldn’t even try. I catch mice and bring them home sticking out of my mouth like a cigar and I can even shout ‘MEOW I’VE BROUGHT YOU A PRESENT’ at the same time.

Walter a black and white cat in the UK tells us what he does
Poster by Ruth aka Kattaddorra

Other cats have come and gone in our street with their families and all has been well, they were all neutered like us and we sorted out our territories and harmony reigned. But now along have come new people with a lot of cats and some are coming into heat and suddenly tom cats are coming from far and wide, day and night.

It’s quite a problem because although Cats Protection would pay for multi household neutering, those people don’t want to know and they can’t be forced, there is no law yet, although we hope here will be one day.

Our Jozef and me think it’s best not to tackle those toms because they like to fight and they might give us nasty illnesses but I put my paw firmly down if any come in our garden. I sing my ‘GET OFF MY PROPERTY’ song and they get scared and say ‘Sorry, just taking a short cut’, and our Jozef says ‘WELL DON’T, you heard what our Walter said KEEP OUT!’

See he’s brave when I’m with him but if I happen to be having a snooze (well I say a chap needs a rest doesn’t he) he runs in and tells the mammies and they go and clap their hands and the toms run away.

Our lad is a bit of a woos actually but you see I’m a month older and have always looked after him. OK maybe I do bully him a bit at times but I love him really. He likes to come on my bed I share with Babz at night if Ruth goes to sleep and leaves him feeling lonely.

Those people with the cats have got dogs as well and we hear them barking but they don’t come out and we think the cats don’t go in much and they are scared of people and run away from us as well.

We have got dogs in the houses each side of us that hardly come out of their gardens and when they do they are tied to the people by their collars, but they bark a lot and the mammies shout rude language. But the noise doesn’t bother our Jo and me, we love our own garden and our hunting ground and we never go in anybody elses and a neighbour even thought we were one cat all the time cos we look alike, how funny is that.

I have to do my Neighbourhood Watch a lot more now and in the night as well because of the rude goings on.

Anyway I hope you all like to see the photos of us and the ones Ruth managed to get of some of the other cats but through the window so they are not so good. Jim Crow wouldn’t pose for his photo, silly bird, we love to pose for our photos.

That’s all for now.

Walter (on behalf of me and Jozef) with the help of Ruth aka Kattaddorra

31 thoughts on “Walter and Jozef Rule”

  1. The author of the best comment will receive an Amazon gift of their choice at Christmas! Please comment as they can add to the article and pass on your valuable experience.
  2. I was wishing there was a compulsory neutering law this morning between 4.15 and 5.15 am when there was constant howling and fighting outside in the Grove, I looked out of the window and couldn’t see any cats but it went on and on and Walter was in the window watching the proceedings for a long time in his position as neighbourhood watch cat. Finally it stopped but then W and J wanted to get up at 5.30 and both marched over to the house where all the queens live and sure enough there was a little one out, so the toms must have been fighting over her. There was a neighbour just leaving for work so I caught her and made sure she knew it was nothing to do with our boys, I hate the fact that people like those two opposite can turn people off all cats and get all cat owners a bad name.

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