Google is asked by Internet users to answer the question in the title. The fact of the matter is that the question shouldn’t be asked in the first place. This is because neither the female nor the male is better than the other in an absolute sense. Whether a person prefers a female or a male cat depends upon that person’s preferences. It doesn’t mean that a female is better than a male or vice versa. That’s the first point to make.
Spaying and neutering
The second point is perhaps more controversial. Nearly all domestic cats nowadays are neutered and spayed. Neutering a male cat reduces the individual’s aggression. I had wondered whether it made a male cat more feminine but I can’t find information to support that idea. But losing aggression and losing the desire to mark territory and generally be male in terms of behaviour indicates that the neutered male cat does become a little more feminine in some regards. And therefore the differences between male and female is reduced.
The spaying of female cats does not appear to in any way change their character. There are benefits in terms of health and of course in stopping procreation. Anything written below has to be qualified with the plain and simple view that each individual cat has their own character so it is perhaps unwise to generalise.
Males more friendly?
You read occasionally that neutered male cats are more friendly than spayed female cats. I’ve not read a scientific appraisal of this so all the evidence is anecdotal but there’s quite a lot of it. There’s probably some truth in it but I’m not sure of the theory behind it. Why should it be true? Answers on a postcard, please! I just thought of one possibility while I’m dictating this. It is possible that neutered tomcats are inherently more confident and therefore less timid. If there more confident they are more likely to approach people and less likely to be retiring and hide from people. This would present as being more friendly to a person interacting with a male.
Females more bossy?
Anecdotally, it is said that female cats are more bossy and demanding and that male cats are more laid-back. There is an interesting thought on the subject. The tortoiseshell cat and tortoiseshell-and-white cat are nearly always females and it is said that these individuals have “catitude”, meaning attitude in a feline sense. This points to feistiness and independence. This may support the idea that females are more bossy and more demanding than males.
Male live more dangerously?
Male cats if allowed outside tend to wander farther than females. This is in line with the wild cat species. Therefore females are perhaps happier to remain at home which in turn would imply that they are less likely to be harmed outside on the road for instance. Young male cats are perhaps the most likely to be killed on roads because of their adventurous spirit and lack of experience. Knowing this may affect a person’s judgement when adopting a male or female cat.
I’ve already touched on aggression. Male cats are probably inherently more aggressive than females but neutering blunts it and therefore reduces the difference between male and female.
Another factor in deciding between males and females is their appearance. They do look different in case you wondered! It may be the case that men prefer female cats and females prefer male cats, on appearance. But I’ll leave that to other people to cogitate on.
It’s up to each person to decide which gender they prefer. It never really bothered me. The more important aspects of the relationship between human and cat is the quality of the relationship. That’s where all the fun comes from. And in truth, there is little difference between males and females in this respect.