Why is Larry the Cat pissing in the corridors at Number 10 Downing Street?

We have been told by Matt Chorley, a Times journalist, that there is the lingering smell of cat piss in the passages connecting numbers 10 to 12 Downing Street. The culprit? Larry the Cat who is the resident mouser at the offices of the Prime Minister.

We are told that he is trying the patience of even those who call themselves cat lovers and who work at the Prime Minister’s offices.

“He’s lazy and useless and f***ing miserable” – the assessment of a Downing Street insider.

Further, the Prime Minister herself, Theresa May, doesn’t like cats that much. She is more a dog person. Matt Chorley himself is a declared cat hater. Therefore his article is very much biased against the cat albeit amusingly. He calls dog people, normal people. Therefore cat people are abnormal.

Matt Chorley says that cat people mistakenly think that everyone likes cats. I know he’s being amusing or trying to be but it is not true that cat people think that everyone likes cats. A lot of them know that there are many people who dislike cats and worse. It is one reason why at lot of cat owners keep their cats indoors at all times.

It’s interesting that Matt says that he not only hates cats but people who like cat. I guess therefore he dislikes half the population of the UK. We do agree on one thing though; he dislikes people who put bowties on cats and who film cats pulling funny faces and creating funny cat videos. I dislike them as well. They have become tiresome and passé. Actually I never liked them. They demean the cat.

It seems that according to Matt Chorley, Larry the Cat is not as popular as he might be at Downing Street. Is this why he’s pissing in the corridors, if indeed he is? Is he being stressed out by cat haters who are intimidating him? Or perhaps there is too much noise and disturbance for a housecat? They like calm places, you know! Libraries or book shops are good for working cats.

I’d be upset to know for sure that he is pissing in the corridors because this is a sure sign that he is not particularly happy and/or he is marking his territory. Perhaps he is marking his territory because of the other government cats encroaching upon his space: Gladstone at the Treasury, and Palmerston at the foreign office. There are even two cats at the Cabinet Office, Evie and Ossie.

It seems that all is not quite perfect amongst the government cats, at a time when there is quite a lot of discussion about installing some cats in the Houses of Parliament because the mice are coming out of the skirting boards as a result of maintenance works which are currently taking place.