Dee has once again inspired me to write another article on Woody, our resident troll. We even sent him off to the Bermuda Triangle thinking that would be the last we ever heard of him, but unfortunately he escaped to return to PoC with his rants about cats and cat lovers.
Dee wrote:
‘I’m thinking along the lines of a large secure, soundproof, steel enclosure where we can administer shock therapy to him. He badly needs his brain scrambled and unscrambled’
What a good idea, but maybe we should try a gentler approach first!
I thought I’d have a bit of fun designing a poster about this because I’ve only written serious stuff lately and it can get very depressing.
So, imagine if we put out a poster offering a reward for Woody’s capture and when we got him, we strapped him down and we all stood around him and chanted:
‘I LOVE CATS’
…and then made him repeat it himself over and over again until he really believed it. He might need quite a lot of therapy sessions but wouldn’t it be good if at the end of them he make a declaration that he loves cats and cat lovers and cat websites. How I’d love to see him surrounded by cats loving them rather than wanting them dead.
We could patent the therapy if it worked and use it on all cat haters. People would no longer chase them away, shoot them, or ill treat them in any way at all. Every home would have a cat and there would be no more Kill Shelters because people would be queuing up to adopt a cat the moment someone relinquished one. No one would make up a flimsy excuse to get rid of their cat.
No cat would be declawed because we could take our therapy further and have every declawing vet in for therapy, repeating:
‘I will never ever declaw a cat again’
Seriously though I don’t understand why some people hate cats, innocent animals who didn’t choose to be born as cats, who only want to live their lives as other species want to live theirs, as we human beings want to live ours.
Why does hatred exist? Why do people like Woody try to convince others that they know best and that we should all hate cats like they do?
Why can’t everyone live and let live?
Wow. Morons much? You’re just guaranteeing that more cats get shot to death. LOL But then, that’s to be expected of idiots with the values of 5-year-olds. BANG, there goes another one! How does it feel to be just as insignificant as your vermin invasive-species cats? Pretty sad I bet.
Hi Woody. Have a nice day! 😉
Oh Woody you are so funny, you should be on the stage! Do you honestly expect us to believe you have shot so many cats? Tell me one thing, how come there are so many cats still left and coming to you to be shot? Cats are highly intelligent and word would have got around the local cats long ago to avoid you, they are very particular about who they go near.
Repeating that we are morons and 5 year olds is getting a bit boring, can’t you think up any new insults?
Anyway I’m gad to see you hadn’t gone to bed for the night with the rest of the USA because it shows you are so scared of Kattaddorra Ghost you daren’t close your eyes.
Maybe, just maybe… We could recreate his neural pathways with artificial constructs made of paper, origami [bear with me] and of the simplest design, because that is where we begin. And maybe, eventually, with patience, practice, and love, we will all learn?
What do YOU think, anon. I think that either you expose yourself or lose your identity.
You might want to think about hurting a plant.
Too mystical. Just hit the bastard 😉
LOL! Always the practical one!
Well, Nurse Rachet has a hatchet!
Dee. Keep your hatchet in your shoe. 😉 lol, you *are* fun!
lol I think it might be the only solution in the end Michael, preferably with a whacking great melhammer
I think Woody likes this discussion 😉
lol are you getting some unprintable comments from him and protecting us?
you guys are too much!! that was terribly funny.
Awwww…. isn’t that funny. another cat shot today just for you useless fucks. LOL So funny!
Why don’t you like cats, dogs, humans, Woody? Because you were neglected as a child? Did your parents abuse you and not protect you? You know that many of us care about you, don’t you? We do. Not any single one of us is deserving of abuse. I care. I do not care about hunting down another human, nor animal, to satisfy some deluded feeling of needing revenge. Do you? <3
Many of us were abused, too, and that is why we reached out in our hyper-vigilance (in my case, anyway), and bonded with common ground. Do you know that? Who are your companions?
My best protector was a German Shepherd named Henry. He saved my neck many times. He was the best companion. [He was my best friend for many years. He and Sputnik, my other furry friend who just happened to be a feline.]
Do you know that back then, my dog was my constant companion, while Sputnik, my other rescue, was taking care of the rodent population in the background? [I grew up on a farm where animals were all treated the same, but I became attached to these two.] And then one day, as I watched my aunt get trampled to death by a wild, “piece” of livestock, a bull, the bits of grey matter woke up and I woke up…
Mr. Sputman just happened to be a cat, imagine… Henry Hippolyte Bayerd was my dog. MY dog. He was fully trained as a service dog and rescuer. I was at his side, he was at mine. We were attached at the hip. Henry carried Spodyody around in his mouth (that was horrendous to watch, but Sputty refused to complain) and on his back. When we went to bed, Sput and Henry had to sleep together. They were inseparable. Now. If a German Shep can love a longhaired Siamese/Persian THAT MUCH, why can’t you, anonymous soul wood?
Nicely said, Cal.
You have had many companion animals by the sound of it. You’re an animal lover. Do you dislike people?
Ooooooooooo Woody did you name her Kattaddorra? I DO hope so and then the haunting can begin… every time you close your eyes be afraid, be VERY afraid!
Ruth, you are having fun and so are we.
Yes a bit of fun because I think it’s all in his mind, a bit too convenient him finding another cat to kill so soon don’t you think? lol