Dee has once again inspired me to write another article on Woody, our resident troll. We even sent him off to the Bermuda Triangle thinking that would be the last we ever heard of him, but unfortunately he escaped to return to PoC with his rants about cats and cat lovers.

Poster by Ruth aka Kattaddorra

Dee wrote:

‘I’m thinking along the lines of a large secure, soundproof, steel enclosure where we can administer shock therapy to him. He badly needs his brain scrambled and unscrambled’

What a good idea, but maybe we should try a gentler approach first!

I thought I’d have a bit of fun designing a poster about this because I’ve only written serious stuff lately and it can get very depressing.

So, imagine if we put out a poster offering a reward for Woody’s capture and when we got him, we strapped him down and we all stood around him and chanted:

‘I LOVE CATS’

…and then made him repeat it himself over and over again until he really believed it. He might need quite a lot of therapy sessions but wouldn’t it be good if at the end of them he make a declaration that he loves cats and cat lovers and cat websites. How I’d love to see him surrounded by cats loving them rather than wanting them dead.

We could patent the therapy if it worked and use it on all cat haters. People would no longer chase them away, shoot them, or ill treat them in any way at all. Every home would have a cat and there would be no more Kill Shelters because people would be queuing up to adopt a cat the moment someone relinquished one. No one would make up a flimsy excuse to get rid of their cat.

No cat would be declawed because we could take our therapy further and have every declawing vet in for therapy, repeating:

‘I will never ever declaw a cat again’

Seriously though I don’t understand why some people hate cats, innocent animals who didn’t choose to be born as cats, who only want to live their lives as other species want to live theirs, as we human beings want to live ours.

Why does hatred exist? Why do people like Woody try to convince others that they know best and that we should all hate cats like they do?

Why can’t everyone live and let live?

Ruth aka Kattaddorra

Please comment here using either Facebook or WordPress (when available).
Michael Broad

Hi, I'm a 71-year-old retired solicitor (attorney in the US). Before qualifying I worked in many jobs including professional photography. I have a girlfriend, Michelle. I love nature, cats and all animals. I am concerned about their welfare.

View Comments

  • I love it! It only proves yet again that I am dealing with phenomenally insecure and criminally irresponsible 5-year-olds. LOL

    The next cat I shoot and bury I'll name in your honor. LOL

    • Well hello there Woody, so you are not quite a lost cause, you DO have a sense of humour.
      Yes, call the next cat you murder in cold blood after me and I will ensure that she haunts you for the rest of your miserable nights ;)
      The Angels will be glad to arrange this for me because the Heavens are weeping over evil people like you who kill innocent animals.....IF you really do....
      Maybe all the evil thoughts are just in your prehistoric mind, but either way you will never know a peaceful night's sleep until you repent and become a decent human being.
      Goodnight... erm sorry... I mean Badnight Woody

      • What an honor Woody is bestowing on you, R!
        To name the next killed one just for you!
        I'm feeling a bit left out.
        Woody just doesn't seem to want to play with me anymore!

      • Oh my, i hadn't even seen this one--rof I swear, you are going to have the Gods and Godesses rolling in stitches!

          • lol I've learned a few of these lately
            roflol is rolled on floor laughed out loud
            pmsl is peed myself laughing
            wtf is what the f**k
            Quite an education lol we live and learn don't we!

    • Hi Uggawoody. We enjoy taking the piss out of you. You can see we are good natured. We are having fun compared to your nastiness. We don't use guns and poisons. We are nice people. You are not a nice person.

      Oh..we are not insecure, believe me. We are completely the opposite.

  • wow excellant poster Ruth has always just love them soo much. Yea one day woody will admit that deep down he really does love cats im sure of it.

    • I hope so Kylee because our PoC family have much more scary therapy in store for him if not lol

  • This is great Ruth. When I saw the title in the email notification, I knew it was going to be another Ruth masterpiece. Inspired by Dee. I do think the frontal Michael mentioned would be a sure bet. Dee can be nurse Ratchet (as in One Flew Over the Coocoo's Nest).

    • lol a Ruth masterpiece, well thank you, I do enjoy designing these posters so I'm glad you liked this one xx

    • You betcha' I can be Nurse Ratchet with Woody.

      So relieved to see you here, Dw.
      Was about to email to check.

      • Dee his night-time pot of peepee is in your honour lol he doesn't have modern conveniences yet x

  • LOL! Such a hoot,R!
    You are so kind hearted to start with the gentle approach. "Chant Therapy" is probably a good beginning.
    But, you know me...
    I'm thinking cattle prods, lightening strikes, space orbits, stun guns, decapitation, covering him with fur, giving him a tail and watching him chase it, instilling an urge to lick his bum...
    Maybe, hypnotherapy would be helpful in turning him into a sweet, gentle feline.
    So much fun.

  • The poster is priceless. I am pleased I featured in it. Famous at last ;) Your method is very humane. This is what I would expect from you. My mind, however, turns to more brutal methods and looking at those baseball bats, bottom left of your poster, I think something more brutal has crossed your mind as well.

    We could try the more humane method as you suggest but failing that something like a frontal lobotomy-the removal of part of his brain-might improve him but even that is unlikely.

    His brain certainly needs some sort of treatment, reprogramming like a computer, but afraid his brain is so corrupted that the only way to deal with it is to reformat it meaning erase every bit of memory in it and then put new memories in their place. Perhaps one day that may be possible but in the meantime all we can do is hit him over the head with a baseball bat to try and knock some sense into him.

    • lol yes something much more brutal might be needed, but like in the anti declawing campaign we can try 'nice' before 'nasty' lol

Recent Posts

Should I let my cat lick me?

This very fundamental question is asking whether cat owners/guardians they should let their cat lick…

3 hours ago

3 reasons why you might lose your cat to your neighbour

We know that we don't truly own our domestic cat companions. We might think that…

4 hours ago

What type of cat is the Whiskas cat?

The Whiskas cat 2020, judging by the latest videos on YouTube, is likely to be…

15 hours ago

Russian stray cat survives minus 27 degrees Celsius

Below is a stitched together narrative from many Twitter tweets in Russian (translated by Google)…

19 hours ago

How many cats are there in the UK 2020?

You have to specify the date in order to accurately state the number of cats…

24 hours ago

4 reasons why you might think that your pet is like you

I can think of four possible reasons why you might think that your cat or…

1 day ago