You love your cat but the other day you were badly stressed and you lost your temper with your cat. You regret it.
Does this happen to you? Do you have moments when you lose your rag; lose your cool because you’re struggling with trying to control the million things you have to, to keep afloat? And then during this fraught moment your cat gets in the way. You love your cat but you shout at her. You regret it. Or you pick her up and throw her out of the way. It could be anything. You might even kick her, not too hard but hard enough so that it hurts you emotionally but not your cat. Cats get over these moments if the events are exceptional. If they are consistent or routine you have created a big problem – a fearful cat. The relationship will be dead or dying.
But this note is simply asking the question whether as a good, decent cat guardian you can on occasions through life pressures lose it and take it out on your cat just because she is there and she is vulnerable.
Invariably, on reflection, a good cat caretaker will think about what has happened and feel guilty. A lady or a man – not sure – asked for help on this site. This occurred years ago.
To be candid, I’d expect the domestic cat to take the brunt of some abuse, sometimes, somewhere from a stressed owner. It is not human aggression deliberately directed at the family cat. It is lashing out at anything and it just so happens that the cat is a convenient recipient.
There is a lot of pent up anger within people. It has to be like that as the world moves faster and becomes ever more competitive. It can be very hard to keep body and soul together.
As a person becomes older they become less tolerant to stress. It is as if each of us has a reservoir of tolerance to the battering that life dishes out. The reservoir almost runs dry. The fuse is short. The cat is there. The cat gets in the way or breaks something. He is underfoot and a for split second a nuisance. You kick. Can you see that happening?
The more ambivalent a cat owner is about cat caretaking the more likely it is too happen. A genuine love for cats will be a barrier to this sort of untypical, flash point cat abuse. What can we do to stop it happening? Not a lot because it is the harsh reality of human life. And it is getting worse. It is a question of self-control. Do you have it? Does anyone have sufficient self-control to never release anger or frustration? I doubt it.
Image artwork by Stephen Day (Flickr)
Agreed. We don’t how big a problem this is. I have a feeling it is bigger than we think it is, even if we think about it.
I am becoming more word blind. There was a typo in the title which I have corrected – the first word, “your” to “you”. I have no idea why I typed “your”. I worry sometimes about this.
Yes, there’s been more than one of my cats who’ve heard me utter “Oh for Christ’s sake!” when they’ve tripped me on the stairs or bowled into me when they’ve been having a mad half hour 😉
I’m sure that some people who physically take their stress out on the cat, will immediately regret it and want to make amends. Hopefully by recognising their mistake they will avoid doing so again in the future.
Sadly there are too many who see animals as punch-bags and those are the people who should never be be allowed to have them. Unfortunately this kind of behaviour goes on behind closed doors and if the victim has no access to escape, their plight goes on undetected.
Thanks Michele. It is nice to know that you occasionally have words with your cat. You seem so ‘perfect’ as a cat guardian. I think I’ll have to do a page about you 😉 . I hope you agree that cat owners who are less committed and knowledgeable might on occasions act as I suggest in the article.
You turn stress into something positive in your relationship with your cat. This seems to be a sign of an excellent cat caretaker.
I’d never harm or discipline my cats physically, but I have snapped at them verbally on occasion. Mainly this has been when they’ve been charging around and nearly knocked my off my feet. I always say sorry afterwards though and they never seem offended.
Cats will forgive us (and other cats they live with) the occasional lapse, but repeated maltreatment will result in them becoming fearful or seeking a new home if they have access to outdoors.
Have to agree with Diane. I’d never take a stressful day out on my cats. Stroking them and hearing them purr can be the perfect antidote to stress 🙂
Well, if I wrote a good post you have written a great comment. Perfect comment for the article. The exact opposite to what I suggest might happen, which I find very constructive, sensible, practical and loving.
Michael, great post!!! but I have never taken a bad day out on my kitties — seriously!! If anything, if I’ve had a bad day, they are my comfort and make all the pains (from whatever) go away. . . the unconditional love I feel from them is immeasurable, and they ALWAYS make things so much better for me. I couldn’t get through life, in general, without them (or my son). . . I feel truly blessed when I am with them. . . ♥♥♥