You live with a person. You want to go away for a break. You love your cat and set high standards of cat caretaking. Can you trust your partner to look after your cat while you are away? What sort of things can go wrong? How do you deal with it if you can’t trust your partner to care for your cat? It is embarrassing and perhaps a indicator that you should not be in a relationship.
These are some of the considerations that come to my mind. I am sure I have missed something:
- You partner likes a drink. She works full-time and has a bad attendance record at work. How much time is she able to give to your cat when she is at home and sober?
- You have a new live-in partner. You trust him but don’t really know him. He is allergic to cats. Is he going to cope with looking after your cat to a decent standard?
- Your partner has a slightly aggressive streak. He seems tense and irritable. You are not sure why. You love the edginess but you love your cat with a passion. He has no track record of looking after a cat. He goes out quite a lot and comes home late.
- Your partner is allergic to cats and likes dogs.
You can understand the sort of message I am trying get across. The above are just top-of-the-head examples. There are others. If you want your partner to look after your cat and if you are a damn good cat caretaker who genuinely loves cats, you do not want to leave the welfare of your in the hands of anyone other than someone who you are certain will do a good job.
That sets a high standard. It may mean that you don’t go away because putting your cat into a boarding cattery may not be acceptable to you.
As an alternative, can you employ a person working for a cat sitting company to come in and check up on your cat? I don’t think you can if the cat sitter is, in effect, checking up on your partner.
Abuse?
There is a worse situation. You have gone away and left your boyfriend in charge of your beloved cat. On your return there are signs that your boyfriend has abused your cat but you don’t want to believe it. You are in conflict between the love for your cat and the love for your boyfriend.
You come back and your cat is frightened. She is hiding. She has what appears to be minor bruising on her ears but your vet says the bruising is also deep inside the ear.
This is a scenario from the Catsite forums and the overwhelming opinion from visitors is to dump the boyfriend asap.
That sounds harsh but if you suspect that your boyfriend (or your partner, male of female) might be abusing your cat, when you are not there, it is time to say goodbye. The risks are too high and trust is already eroded.
Of course there has to be a sensible approach. The signs of abuse have to be real and tangible. If you leave your cat in good health and go away for a few days leaving her in the hands of your boyfriend and on your return your cat is injured and the injury is not consistent with a typical cat accident (on your vet’s advice) then you have to come to one conclusion especially if your boyfriend has shown little signs in the past that he dislikes cats such as being allergic to cats and keeping your cat away from his bag because hairs might get on it! If a person is that twitchy about cat hair, it does not bode well for the future of your relationship if you are committed to looking after a cat for the cat’s lifetime, which is the only way to do it.
I think we should trust our instincts on these sorts of things. People are able to pick up on small signs that indicate a problem. The biggest problem, however, is for the cat owner to face up to the possibility and put cat welfare first.
I see a big connection between you and your cats and your cats have the same connection and similar feelings as you. This makes things more delicate. Any changes have a greater impact on the cats and you.
Pooping on the bed is stress related loneliness (separation anxiety – I wrote this years ago) really. That is my assessment. Doing it front of you may be a direct signal to you to stop going away. It is not punishment, more a signal that she wants her home to be reassuring and you provide the reassurance.
Don’t take that the wrong way. We all have obligations and we all have to survive.
Ruth – sorry I didn’t quite understand – you do cat sitting for CP or CP organises cat sitters for people who need them and you ask to meet the cat before the person leaves so the person can see you and their cat together.
Maybe I missed something obvious, sorry if I did.
Oh running out mid poop – great things happen in the kitchen but that’s some serious excitement!
Monty has never pooped to mark territory or as retaliation, thank goodness! He will sometimes fail to stay in the litter box until the operation is complete. If he hears someone in the kitchen he may run out with poop hanging off his butt, but that’s the worst of it. Good thing Melanie slept in the futon and not in our bed!
Monty must have felt really threatened by somebody doing your job. I know that some time ago before I got a good one I had a crappy sofa bed and the lady staying at mine just couldn’t take it anymore and slept one night on my bed and both Gigi and Molly, both still kittens, immediately pooped and peed all over my bed. I think they really got worried when somebody was in my place – in the same way your place was taken. They have gotten used to the lady now and me going although sometimes they pee on my or the ladies bed. Once Gigi pooped right on my bed in front of me before I even put my bags down when I arrived home from a trip. I literally walked in the room to put down my bag and Gigi ran up on my bed and looked at me and did it – she was clearly not a happy bunny about me leaving and was telling me directly, punishing me maybe, I am not sure but it was a strong statement 🙂
I am going away for a week tomorrow. I always ask the lady to come before I leave so they see me leave happily and the lady stays behind – she’s a friend and very nice, and they know her. I hope it goes well this time as it’s not a short 3 days but a full week. Hopefully everything will be fine and they won’t make any bold statements before or on my return.
That saying results in great cat caretaking. Excellence in cat caretaking is about thinking about your cat because you care.
It is not a process like going to work.