by Elisa Black-Taylor
(USA)
Domestic abuse and pets is a subject that really flares my temper. I’ve lived through it. I’ve watched friends go through it. And I can tell you it’s a horrible feeling when you want out of a toxic relationship but can’t find a safe place where a beloved pet would be welcome.
Finally the laws are changing to help women in domestic abuse situations get out and take their pets with them. The Animal Welfare Institute has compiled this partial list of women’s shelters where pets are welcome. href=”http://www.awionline.org/ht/d/sp/i/37272/pid/37272 – link broken. Since it’s in Excel format, please read down on the article under “where are they” and click on the words “click here.”
Ahimsa House also has a list of safe havens for domestic abuse victims. Their link it here. This site even has a fast escape button in case you need to leave the site quickly. This organization understands just how dangerous looking for help on the internet can be to an abused woman looking for a way out with her pet.
There are currently three states (at least) who now allow pets to be included in restraining orders. New York, Maine and Vermont now make it a crime for an abuser to have contact with the abuse victims pet. Some areas carry a fine and others are punishable by jail time.
I’m not much of a believer in restraining orders or orders of protection. If the abuser knows where the victim lives, sometimes NOTHING will stop him from harassment or violence. The police can’t be everywhere at once and there’s a good chance they’d be too late in a domestic violence situation. PLEASE go to a safe haven where you can’t be found!
The story that sparked this article just came in on my news feed tonight and it got me to thinking. A woman was abused by her man, who also threatened to abuse her roommates. The entire story can be found here. It happened on Sunday, June 26 in Gainsville, Florida. Tamarcus Lamont Harper, 20, has been charged with animal cruelty resulting in death, kidnapping, obstructing justice, resisting arrest, and three counts of battery.
Harper is pure evil, and there are many men out there just like him. It all started with an argument that morning. The girlfriend asked him to leave. When he returned half an hour later he kicked the door in. He then grabbed the woman (he’d been dating for a few years) by her heels in her own home and swung her around. He threatened to hurt everyone in the home if the police were called. This poor woman went to work and when she came home after lunch she learned Harper had physically assaulted the roommates. He was still there at the apartment
Harper then broke the feeding bowl of an 8 week old kitten. After that he kicked the kitten in front of the girlfriend and she watched in horror as the kitten died within a minute. He was eventually caught by police after the women escaped the apartment and called 911. He threw down a pink towel during a foot chase that ended in his arrest. The dead kitten was wrapped in the towel.
What really gets me is this man had the nerve to ask the arresting officer if he could go to jail for murdering a cat.
I’ll tell everyone what I’d like to see happen to this man. I don’t know how many of the readers have heard of Rescue Ink. Google them if you’ve never read up on these men. I’d LOVE for this tough rescue group to get ahold of Harper for just one hour. Actually, fifteen minutes would do the trick. I’d love for him to be kicked around the way that poor kitten was.
I lived with an abuser. He didn’t kill cats or dogs. He killed my pet rats. And the police in Anderson where I was raised did NOTHING! They said rats were rodents and didn’t fall under the category of pet. These were hairless rats purchased from a pet store. I got away from this man before he killed me.
The police where I grew up don’t like me. I called them once on a dog who had been doused with kerosene and was about to be set on fire. The police wouldn’t even smell the dog. They thought it was impossible for anyone to be that cruel. They even went so far as to threaten to lock me us for harassing them if I called them back that night. So I took the dog to a safe place in my car. That car smelled of kerosene for several weeks, but at least the dog was saved.
Women, I can tell you two things about abusers. I learned them both from watching talk shows. PLEASE don’t laugh. Every now and then the talk show hosts spout of words of wisdom. First of all, watch how a man treats the women in his family because this is likely how you’ll be treated. And second, don’t make excuses. Don’t say the man will “change.” What really matters is what he’s like in the present. NOT what he promises to be like in the future.
Have any of the readers here been in a similar situation? You don’t have to give your name. Comments on how to spot or escape abuse are particularly welcome. If you know of safe havens that welcome pets, please feel free to leave information in the comments.
Women, get out before it’s too late and take your pet with you. If there’s no information in this article for the area in which you live, just Google Safe Haven for pets and enter your location. Chances are there are groups willing to help you.
Elisa
P.S. I realize men can be the victim of domestic violence. I’m not trying to single one sex out over the other. Statistics show most abusers are men.
http://www.ocala.com/
http://criminal.lawyers.com/
Some abusers also try to use pets to abuse the humans in the house by showering the pet(s) with outward tenderness and affection while degrading and refusing to stop degrading and being cruel to the human victim…. Then when the adult human victim is away at work (and if children are involved when the child or children is/are away at school or daycare) pets end up with sudden severe life-ending injuries (like a tame kitten that suddenly became feral and allegedly jumped from his hand and landed on its head and died or another kitten that somehow pulled a hip out of socket inside of the house and you do not have the money for the surgery to rescue the kitten and cannot find a vet or rescue who will donate services to help so the kitten must be put to sleep, etc) . When this happens repeatedly it’s a heads-up — the injuries are not likely all accidents. Not all abusers batter animals in front of the victim(s). Sometimes they shower the pet(s) with amazing affection and loving behaviors but there are unexplained injuries.. This is very shocking and scary when one begins to put the pieces together and wonder — did he do this stuff? Likely he did.
I think I came across an Internet write-up of yours and would like to use it in my book. I believe you are the author of this, but I am not 100% certain:
The plain and simple truth these days is that a lot of domestic violence victims are arrested. There are two scenarios where this may happen.
1. The victim fights off the abuser and does a very good job of it. In other words, the abuser has more bruises and cuts than the victim.
2. The abuser makes the 911 call then self inflicts injuries with the sole purpose of having the victim arrested either instead of or along with the abuser.
Personally, I fell into reason #2. And I wasn’t even at home when it occurred. The man took a beer bottle and beat himself over the head and on his arms, then called the police stating I had attacked HIM. He came up with a very convincing story and had plenty of cuts and bruises to show when the police arrived. He later called them back and admitted to making up the abuse story.
I came home from work after an eight hour shift to find a paper stating I would be arrested for criminal domestic violence. This man looked at me and bragged about “straightening things out so I wouldn’t go to jail.” I left him soon after this incident and never looked back.
I still shake my head in disbelief when I think of how far he went to get me into trouble. If it weren’t true it would almost be funny. I never thought a woman could get in trouble for something she didn’t do when she wasn’t even around to do it.
Could this happen to you as a victim? It can and often does. Sometimes the man will inflict injury on himself. He may even go so far as to make the call to police saying YOU’RE abusing HIM!
Many times the decision to arrest is placed upon one officer based on the injuries and who he believes. If the abuser is a good actor and the victim is hysterical and terrified, the wrong person is likely to go to jail.
The same holds true if you were attacked by this person and did an excellent job of defending yourself. This isn’t fair and it happens quite often these days. Whoever has the most injuries is labeled the “victim.”
The main thing to remember when the police arrive is to remain as calm as possible. Screaming and attacking the abuser while the police are present will definitely earn you a trip before a judge. Some officers automatically harbor a resentment toward women for one reason or another. Many don’t like going out on domestic calls and want to lock up everyone involved.
Whether you are locked up or not, make sure someone takes photographs of all of your injuries as bruises and cuts may heal quickly. A bruise is also good to photograph about three days down the road after it turns red and blue and green and black. It doesn’t matter if the police officer took photos, do it yourself. If you’re in jail you need to arrange with your defense attorney to have photos taken.
Victims of domestic violence being arrested aren’t always women. Sometimes the woman is the instigator and fakes injuries so the man will go to jail.
Here’s a link to an advocacy for domestic violence victims website. Read it carefully as there’s a lot of good information. I recommend you read it before you need a victims advocate. After all, forewarned is forearmed.”
From the website: http://www.examiner.com/article/domestic-violence-victims-arrested
Author: Elisa Black-Taylor
Is this yours? Please email me and let me know if I may use it in my book, which is about the topic of how how sociopaths, sociopath type abusers and abusers manipulate police and others to do this (as above described) and other similarly terrible things to victims. shatteredfamily@gmail.com