Grandmaster Mittens makes mincemeat of top chess players

Mittens is an artificial intelligence computer programmed to play chess. It is no surprise then that this cute kitten demolishes highly skilled human chess players. The current world No. 1 Magnus Carlsen refuses to play her. I understand why. Fear of failure 😢😉.

But he says:

“Yeah, I’m not going to pay Mittens. It’s just a soulless computer that plays really well and because it’s a picture of a kitten you’re buying it”.

Mittens chess bot versus Carlsen but it won't happen
Mittens chess bot versus Carlsen but it won’t happen. Image: MikeB
Two useful tags. Click either to see the articles:- Toxic to cats | Dangers to cats

The beauty of Mittens is that the programmers decided on a cute kitten which is nicely juxtaposed against the computer’s killer approach to the game. Mittens is ruthless.

Journalists at The Times newspaper took on Mittens and lost each time. That demoralising experience happens to nearly all challengers. A Japanese grandmaster fared better. Hikaru Nakamura managed a draw after 161 moves. An epic result. He has 1.6 million YouTube followers.

At one stage he said: “I might be getting squished here!” He hung on for the draw.

Kittens are cute. Mittens is not. She likes to sledge opponents. In case you are wondering “sledging” means winding up opponents with obliquely insulting or rude remarks about their abilities.

She (I have made her female) makes statements such as “All chess players eventually crumble under my mighty paws.”

She has also said “I am the tiger and you are the in the jungle I call eternity”. I guess she means that her defeated opponents will be eternally banished to oblivion.

She is at grandmaster-level and has been released on the website She’s become a phenomenon by defeating some of the best players in the world and tens of thousands of lesser players.

Online chess has burgeoned recently. There are vast audiences. has 100 million members. In January traffic to the site was up 160% compared to a former peak during Covid lockdown. Awesome Mittens has become famous. Kittens are indeed awesome.

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