Some experts say that cats don’t appreciate being stared at. A full-on stare can make a cat feel uneasy and the cat may turn away to relieve tension created by the stare. In short, we should avoid eye contact. This is what we are told.
My personal experience does not support this advice and I wonder what others feel about it. However, the cat’s response is probably dependent on the individual cat’s personality to a large extent.
Domestic cat behaviour originates in wild cat behaviour and I have never read about wild cats staring at each other to intimidate or dominate. Domestic cats do participate in stand-off style pre-fight routines and look at each other but I don’t believe the stare during this ritual, is significant. Do domestic cats stare to threaten each other?
My understanding of the method of one cat threatening another is to employ body language such as making the body larger, pulling the ears back and down in preparation for a fight etc.. During these procedures the cats look at each other, and stare at each other, but I am not sure the stare plays as an important role in terms or intimidation as the other body language.
I have looked my cats in the eyes and they normally look back and that eye contact can be held for a while. Also we can participate in the slow blink. We know cats do this as a sign of contentment and recognition of friendship. But some experts say that when we make eye contact a cat blinks and then turns away. I didn’t recognise this behaviour with my late Charlie and neither do I see it in Gabriel.
Both of these support the argument that eye contact with your cat is okay.
Perhaps the reason behind avoiding eye contact with your cat is to avoid intimidating him because we are so much larger. There is this background problem in our relationship with domestic cats: we are much larger which can cause a default state of slight tension in the cat.
There is no reference to the need to avoid staring at your cat in a good book on cat behaviour: The Cat Its Behavior, Nutrition & Health.
It is said that a cat walking into a room with many people will avoid cat lovers because they are looking at the cat. For me this is nonsense.
We are bound to make eye contact in interactions with our cat. Sometimes the eye contact lasts a while and may be described as a stare. As I said I don’t recognise the need to avoid staring. I have just stared into the eyes of Gabriel while he is on my lap and he stared back. He looked very comfortable doing it.
There is also the argument that cats start to copy our behaviour and integrate into our lifestyles, which also supports the notion that eye contact between human and cat is normal and okay.
In feral communities, I witness an avoidance of direct eye contact when there seeme to be a potential male-to-male flurry. I think this may be a “save face” activity that allows one to retreat with dignity.
However, with my domesticated, mostly semi-ferals that live inside with me, they seem to have no problem at all with my direct eye contact. They don’t seem to interpret it as aggression but, rather, affection. I think that it enhances trust.
Here’s your reference (from Roger Tabor who’s wellknown for studying ferals for years and years)
Well, that is strong. You see, many here on this site are so thoroughly comfortable and knowledgeable about our beloved domestic felines behaviors that we certainly do know that slowly closing our eyes and opening them is to relieve potential stress in theirs and our minds. Winking is not, although it does occur now and then. 😉
Michael, i pains me to hear that yours and your Mother’s dear Charlie passed away… you never failed to show how much you cared for hem. May he be there for you in your sleep and daily thought <3.
Listen to the experts! Staring is a form of silent aggression. And yes, cats do stare each other away, keep each other on distance and block vital resources with staring! That is why many cat owners have no clue about the aggression going on in their home and are convinced everything is happy, happy, joy, joy, while cats are fighting their little territory in the home.
As a cat counsellor I see this very often.
Slow blinking is not a sign of affection. That is a misconception, romantacised by humans. In fact slow blinking is a simple statement that says: hey, I am not a threat to you! At least not right now in this moment or in this spot. 🙂
Then there is conditioning. Many home cats that have been socialized to humans very well, may also be conditioned to the human stare. Even though they may respond affectionately to the human stare, that does not mean that they will accept similar behaviour from colleague felines. Similarly cats hardly ever meow to each other. Mostly that is used for cat to human communication.
Well, this is interesting. From my close bond with Shrimptaro, I am comfortable with him staring at me from his tummy-up position, upside down. I still tend to blink at him slowly. He and I seem to be comfortable with staring lovingly with a smile, but I confess that only when I am deeply focused on something mentally do I tend to stare. 😉 He does it whenever he pleases from this tummy-up position, and it makes me smile every time, Michael.