Some experts say that cats don’t appreciate being stared at. A full-on stare can make a cat feel uneasy and the cat may turn away to relieve tension created by the stare. In short, we should avoid eye contact. This is what we are told.
My personal experience does not support this advice and I wonder what others feel about it. However, the cat’s response is probably dependent on the individual cat’s personality to a large extent.
Domestic cat behaviour originates in wild cat behaviour and I have never read about wild cats staring at each other to intimidate or dominate. Domestic cats do participate in stand-off style pre-fight routines and look at each other but I don’t believe the stare during this ritual, is significant. Do domestic cats stare to threaten each other?
My understanding of the method of one cat threatening another is to employ body language such as making the body larger, pulling the ears back and down in preparation for a fight etc.. During these procedures the cats look at each other, and stare at each other, but I am not sure the stare plays as an important role in terms or intimidation as the other body language.
I have looked my cats in the eyes and they normally look back and that eye contact can be held for a while. Also we can participate in the slow blink. We know cats do this as a sign of contentment and recognition of friendship. But some experts say that when we make eye contact a cat blinks and then turns away. I didn’t recognise this behaviour with my late Charlie and neither do I see it in Gabriel.
Both of these support the argument that eye contact with your cat is okay.
Perhaps the reason behind avoiding eye contact with your cat is to avoid intimidating him because we are so much larger. There is this background problem in our relationship with domestic cats: we are much larger which can cause a default state of slight tension in the cat.
There is no reference to the need to avoid staring at your cat in a good book on cat behaviour: The Cat Its Behavior, Nutrition & Health.
It is said that a cat walking into a room with many people will avoid cat lovers because they are looking at the cat. For me this is nonsense.
We are bound to make eye contact in interactions with our cat. Sometimes the eye contact lasts a while and may be described as a stare. As I said I don’t recognise the need to avoid staring. I have just stared into the eyes of Gabriel while he is on my lap and he stared back. He looked very comfortable doing it.
There is also the argument that cats start to copy our behaviour and integrate into our lifestyles, which also supports the notion that eye contact between human and cat is normal and okay.
I did see that part of your comment Oker. I agree but I am just making a point about experts 😉 .
Well Michael, you’re certainly asking questions, but then read selectively only what you want to read. If you’d read my comment thoroughly you’d know -as the “expert” that you are- it does not necessarily disagree with what’s being said here. In fact it gives an answer as to why some cats are not frightened (anymore) by a human’s stare. Obviously you don’t want to know, so I’ll leave you “experts” amongst yourselves. I really have no time for this.
Well said Ahsan. I agree with you and with Dee.
As you can see, the experts say we shouldn’t make eye contact or stare with our domestic cat companion and it is this advice that I am rightly challenging.
The consensus so far from the expert PoC regulars is they agree with me.
Dee, as usual, you have hit the nail on the head. There are body language signals between more wild behaving cats and eye contact is part of the body language set of postures but this rarely applies with domestic cats in their interactions with people, especially their caretakers, and I am pleased your experiences fit with mine.
Thanks Cal, I think of Charlie and all my other cats and it makes me feel sad. I try and avoid it. It is just the nature if our relationship with cats that we live much longer than them normally.
Osker, Roger Tabor is just another so called expert. I am sure he is good. But he is not necessarily any better than me or other regular PoC visitors who I respect.
I certainly believe I know as much as Tabor and I probably question more which is good. I don’t have an axe to grind. I just seek the truth.